(Closed) Weddings too far- How to RSVP No

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think if you are not close just saying ‘no’ and sending a gift is great.  They probably didn’t really think you would make it anyway.  With the gift you can write on the card to say something like ‘we’ll be thinking of you and wish we could have made it’. No reason needs to be said. 

If you are closer to the couple, definitely phone and explain why you can’t make it as soon as possible, but again, they probably aren’t expecting you anyways. 

Post # 4
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think the polite thing to do is to call the couple and explain your situation before you say no on your RSVP.

Post # 5
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant

I agree with cvbee…if you aren’t super close with them, they probably just wanted to be courteous, but didn’t really expect you to come.  I’d send a gift with a thoughtful card, but I don’t think a call is necessary.

Post # 6
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I wish I were able to say no.  We have a wedding to go to in New Orleans in May.  And this is just 6 weeks before our wedding!  I sort of felt pressured to go – they are very good friends of ours, and even some of the broke and unemployed are going… so we sort of felt like we had to.  The weekend will set us back at least 1000 bucks.. and like I said 6 WEEKS before our wedding.  ugh.

I think that a simple “wish we could have been there to celebrate with you” and a gift will be much appreciated!  And kudos to you for saying “I just can’t do it!”

Post # 8
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We aren’t able to attend (or chose not to attend) a wedding this weekend that would be a flight and hotel away – We’re a courtesy invite! haha its fine. I always make a point to write a little note on the response card. I think I said “We wish we could spend the day with you, but won’t be able to make it. We’ll be sending you our thoughts and cant wait to see pictures!”

@proBM2008 – We had 7 weddings last year and I was in 3, Fiance in 1! haha this year is much better. 3, including ours.

Post # 9
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think as long as you make sure to RSVP “no” as soon as possible and send a nice gift and card you are fine.  I talked with my mom about this earlier, for a lot of weddings, I honestly would rather send a nicer gift then to have to pay for travel and a less nice gift. 

Post # 10
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Send a nice card congratulating them, share your regrets that you can’t make it and send a gift if you feel so inclined, if not, just a nice congratulations card is fine!


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