Post # 1
Trying to make up our mind about our wedding & there is a venue I’ve liked since the very beginning… The problem is it costs between £2,750 & £3,250 to hire for on a Saturday, depending on the time of year. It’s £500 cheaper on a Sunday and £1,000 cheaper on a Thursday. These are significant savings but not enough to make me want to opt for one of them…
The venue offers the following package, however, on a Monday-Wednesday for just over £3,250:
• Exclusive use of venue
• 60 guests (extra can be accommodated at additional cost)
• 3 course wedding breakfast
• Arrival drink
• Glass of red or white wine with reception
• Glass of sparkling wine for toast
• Linen hire
• Flower arrangements for each table
• Use of the fully licensed bar until midnight
• House DJ from 8 pm until 11:30 pm
I’m really tempted to look into it further but I’m worried it would put some of our guests off, as some of them would need to take two days off work to attend. I really like this venue but I just can’t justify the cost at the weekend. We would probably choose a Monday, as guests can travel on the Sunday without needing an extra day off work.
I don’t mind guests leaving early, as long as they are there for the ceremony and can join us for a nice meal. 2/3 of our guests are family members and the remaining 1/3 are close friends. We’ve only got about 70 people we would like to invite. My family live 60 minutes away from the venue and my fiancé’s family live 90 minutes away. (The venue is in the city where we live together.)
I think we would try to book it for a Monday in July or August 2014 as we’ve got some teachers in the family and among friends. We would want to give everyone plenty of notice and would understand if work commitments prevented them from attending. We feel that our immediate family members and close friends will be able to come.
Should we consider this further or write it off as not being suitable for our guests? I don’t know whether it is a bit inconsiderate asking them to take a day off work in order to attend.
Post # 3
@lunalyra: Well…taking a day off work unless you’re in the BP or something probably won’t happen for most folks. That said, I don’t think it’s inconsiderate exactly, as it’s your wedding and you can have it at Tuesday at 2am if you feel so inclined…but of those 70 guests don’t be surprised if many can’t make it, as even an hour’s drive on a Monday afternoon/evening might be tough for people, especially those with kids, late jobs, etc. If it’s going to save you that much money and it’s worth it to you, then do it! Just don’t be surprised if many have to pass.
FWIW I had a Sunday wedding, invited 125 people, 99 showed up (many of whom were out of town by at least an hour as well). It’s just the way it goes, I think.
Post # 4
@lunalyra: A weekday wedding isnt rude in and of itself. A host can plan an event at any time that suits them. But that doesn’t mean people won’t be upset and or decline attending.
I personally don’t think that it is polite to put someone in the position of having to take off at least one full day to attend your wedding. If you really wanted a weekday wedding, I would encourage you to have a 6pm or later start time, knowing that many guests will leave by 10pm. But a full day affair is just too much.
It will be perceived that you are foisting the costs onto your guests. Sure, you save thousands of pounds, but your guests loose thousands of pounds collectively by taking time off of work (+the usual costs associated with travelling to a wedding) or the use of the even more valuable vacation time.
Once you invite guests, I think their comfort has to be your number 1 priority. Also is it a DW? Could guests do just one day? Asking two days is also a lot in my mind.
Post # 5
@andielovesj: No, it’s not a destination wedding. It’s just that my FI & I don’t live where we grew up. We live around 60-90 minutes away from our respective families.
I say two days as if we pick a Monday, some guests will probably choose to travel home on the Tuesday which results in taking two days off work.
I think, in all likelihood, we’ll opt for somewhere else or, if we do love it, chat to our family and friends in advance of booking it. As I said, it’s mostly a family wedding and I don’t think they are too precious about telling us how they feel!
Post # 6
- Wedding: May 2014 - Smithfield Center
I don’t think it’s rude, but I do think it’s unreasonable. Most people have the weekends off and expect that is when weddings are held. If you want to save money I would just go with the Sunday wedding and be done withit. Asking your guests to take off that much time from work is a bit over the top. If you want most of your guests to attend, even if it’s going to cost you more, then I would suggest having it on a Saturday or Sunday.
Post # 7
You are more likely to get more people saying they can’t come if its on a weekday due to the need to take time off work. However I went to a wedding on a Wednesday once and most people turned up. I think the idea of having it on a Monday so they only need one day off is a good one. So yes, it’s not rude but be aware that if you do, some people probably won’t come and some will probably leave early. I guess it depends how much you love the venue. My friends that did a mid-week wedding did it for exactly the same reason as you – the venue was stunning and they couldn’t have afforded it otherwise.
Also, another consideration is that pretty much everything else you need will be cheaper mid-week as well – photographers, transport etc.
Post # 8
It’s not rude to have an event you’re hosting on a day you want. However, you will most likely have a higher number of declines for a weekday vs a weekend wedding. You just need to weigh it up between a nicer venue with fewer people and a less nice venue with more people and go with whichever option you prefer.
Post # 9
@cece_intheuk: Yes, that’s true.
I’ve counted up our guests and 45 of them are close family members (parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins), who I believe will be able to come if we do it in the summer.
The remaining 25 or so are very close friends. Some of them would need to take the Friday off work in order to travel to the wedding on a Saturday so I’m not sure there is a massive difference between that and travelling on a Sunday/taking the Monday off work.
As I said, because of my worries about inconveniencing guests, we will only book for a weekday if we a) really like the venue when we visit and nothing else will do and b) have chatted to everyone (quite easy to do!) to check it’s reasonable for them.
There’s some venues I like with good Saturday availability that are more expensive than this one but not ridiculously so – we’ll definitely look into those too.
Post # 10
Just don’t expect a big turn out. DH has very limited vacation days so we would probably not want to use them on a weekday wedding. We would have to take both Monday and Tuesday off. I probably wouldn’t want to come alone because I hate driving at night after a long day and I would be worried about getting sleepy behind the wheel.
Post # 11
There’s nothing wrong with it, but I think I would probably decline. Sorry!
Post # 12
@MRSsrm85: All reasonable points and highlights my concerns about opting for a non-traditional day. Something to think about, definitely!
Thanks for all the thoughts.
Post # 13
@lunalyra: wait, how long is your reception? You say the venue includes a 3 course wedding breakfast. The DJ doesn’t start until 8pm. I’m confused…
Post # 14
I say do whatever you want! a monday wedding will be fine, and the people that are the closest to you will be able to attend!
Post # 15
@Aquaria: Not sure of the exact timings but the norm here is for a 3 course dinner followed by a DJ so presumably the dinner would begin around 5 pm. I guess we would marry around 3:30.
Post # 16
@lunalyra: Well that makes sense but then where does the breakfast come into play?