Weekday wedding? Is it polite?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
752 posts
Busy bee

@lunalyra:  Well…taking a day off work unless you’re in the BP or something probably won’t happen for most folks.  That said, I don’t think it’s inconsiderate exactly, as it’s your wedding and you can have it at Tuesday at 2am if you feel so inclined…but of those 70 guests don’t be surprised if many can’t make it, as even an hour’s drive on a Monday afternoon/evening might be tough for people, especially those with kids, late jobs, etc.  If it’s going to save you that much money and it’s worth it to you, then do it!  Just don’t be surprised if many have to pass.  

FWIW I had a Sunday wedding, invited 125 people, 99 showed up (many of whom were out of town by at least an hour as well).  It’s just the way it goes, I think.    

Post # 4
Member
3223 posts
Sugar bee

@lunalyra:  A weekday wedding isnt rude in and of itself. A host can plan an event at any time that suits them.  But that doesn’t mean people won’t be upset and or decline attending.

I personally don’t think that it is polite to put someone in the position of having to take off at least one full day to attend your wedding.  If you really wanted a weekday wedding, I would encourage you to have a 6pm or later start time, knowing that many guests will leave by 10pm.  But a full day affair is just too much. 

It will be perceived that you are foisting the costs onto your guests.  Sure, you save thousands of pounds, but your guests loose thousands of pounds collectively by taking time off of work (+the usual costs associated with travelling to a wedding) or the use of the even more valuable vacation time.

Once you invite guests, I think their comfort has to be your number 1 priority.  Also is it a DW?  Could guests do just one day?  Asking two days is also a lot in my mind.

Post # 6
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Smithfield Center

I don’t think it’s rude, but I do think it’s unreasonable. Most people have the weekends off and expect that is when weddings are held. If you want to save money I would just go with the Sunday wedding and be done withit. Asking your guests to take off that much time from work is a bit over the top. If you want most of your guests to attend, even if it’s going to cost you more, then I would suggest having it on a Saturday or Sunday.

Post # 7
Member
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You are more likely to get more people saying they can’t come if its on a weekday due to the need to take time off work.  However I went to a wedding on a Wednesday once and most people turned up.  I think the idea of having it on a Monday so they only need one day off is a good one.  So yes, it’s not rude but be aware that if you do, some people probably won’t come and some will probably leave early.  I guess it depends how much you love the venue.  My friends that did a mid-week wedding did it for exactly the same reason as you – the venue was stunning and they couldn’t have afforded it otherwise.

Also, another consideration is that pretty much everything else you need will be cheaper mid-week as well – photographers, transport etc.

Post # 8
Member
808 posts
Busy bee

It’s not rude to have an event you’re hosting on a day you want. However, you will most likely have a higher number of declines for a weekday vs a weekend wedding. You just need to weigh it up between a nicer venue with fewer people and a less nice venue with more people and go with whichever option you prefer.

Post # 10
Member
2720 posts
Sugar bee

Just don’t expect a big turn out. DH has very limited vacation days so we would probably not want to use them on a weekday wedding. We would have to take both Monday and Tuesday off. I probably wouldn’t want to come alone because I hate driving at night after a long day and I would be worried about getting sleepy behind the wheel.

Post # 11
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

There’s nothing wrong with it, but I think I would probably decline. Sorry!

Post # 13
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@lunalyra:  wait, how long is your reception? You say the venue includes a 3 course wedding breakfast. The DJ doesn’t start until 8pm. I’m confused…

Post # 14
Member
1140 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I say do whatever you want! a monday wedding will be fine, and the people that are the closest to you will be able to attend!

Post # 16
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@lunalyra:  Well that makes sense but then where does the breakfast come into play? 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors