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My FI and I really wanted the 09-10-11 date. We did have the opportunity, and the down amount, but decided not to take the risk. Wedding funds is depending on a few things this next couple weeks.
Anywho, we were considering a weekday wedding. The main reason is cost. At the venue we want it is $1800 for a Sat. $1200 for a Sun, or Fri, and $750 for Mon-Thu.
We have exactly 50 guests, and we were wondering if it's rude to have a wedding on a Thursday. I.e. 09-01-11 which is the thursday before labor day weekend, or 09-08-11 which is the Thursday after.
What would you do?
Have it any day you want. Those who love and support you will be there no matter what day of the week it is.
And that is a big savings to have it on a Thursday!
I'd do it the Thursday before Labor Day. I'd be wayyy more likely to take a Friday off after a wedding if I had that Monday off, too!
@Mrs.RDV: Yeah, that's one thing that really made us stop and think about it, cause the money saved is almost enough for the catering!
Oh, I should also mention, it's not a Destination wedding.
I think it's fine to have a week day wedding, but you just can't expect everyone will be able to come.
My husband's good friend is getting married on a Thursday, and for him to go that would mean he'd have to leave Wed and miss two days of work. We're having a baby in a couple of months and he needs to save days for when he has another surgery, so he just doesn't have the days to go to a wedding. We had the same issue though, our wedding was on a Sunday and still people couldn't come due to work.
We are a couple doing this wedding 100% on our own (except my dress). So when it came to venues, we were having a hard time. We never even considered during the week or Sunday. Well when we decided to go for it and book a Nov. date, it was taken. THEN the girl mentioned the discounts for the Winter/Weekday, Friday and Sunday Weddings. We looked at our calendars and booked right there on spot! The savings is INSANE! And just like @LongDistancePlanning: said, those that love and support you will be there, no questions asked!
I'd say the timing might be problematic, as in a 5pm wedding vs. a 7pm wedding, since people might be having to leave work early. But again, with a smaller/intimate wedding, shouldn't be an issue for most! xo
Best of Luck!
Having a mid-week wedding is becoming more common as the savings can be big... My only recommendation is to be mindful of the time. Guests don't always have flexiblity with work and a late start can forcce some of your guests to cut out early.
I worked with a bride that hosted a wedding the Thursday before 4th of July weekend for about the same number of guests. She started with a cocktail hour at 6pm, ceremony at 6:50pm and reception at 7:15pm. Evening ended around 11pm. Having the cocktail hour first gave guests a little flexibility if they were coming from work and all events were on the property.
Hope that helps!
I would do the Thursday before. Since it is already a holiday weekend I don't think people would have a problem with the extra days off. Sounds fun to me actually!
We're not having a cocktail hour, cause most of our guests don't drink anyways. And the wedding ceremony would be at 4, with the reception at the same location. Also, the venue says we have to be done by 10. So it won't be too late. :)
$1000 is not much savings to be that inconvenient, I think. Multiple thousands? I'd think about it. But $1000 is a drop in the wedding bucket. If you move forward, just know that there will be a lot of inconvenienced people who can't get out of work early or take the day off, and that people won't want to stay late on a weeknight to party.
It's certainly not rude. It's your party, however you may have more declines from people you aren't that close to (prob not an issue with your smaller-ish guest list). If you are hoping for a party all night, then you probably won't get that if guests don't take Friday off. For a bride and groom I am close to I would take the next day off.
I think it's fine. Of course PP's are right - some people won't be able to make it and some won't be able to stay late if they don't take the Friday off. Being that it is right before a holiday weekend though, I'd be more likely to take the Friday off. If the savings is that significant (especially if you also save in other aspects for a weekday wedding) then I say go for it and do what's right for you guys. Those that you want there the most will be there - i.e. family and good friends.
Go for it. A friend recently had a Tuesday night wedding because they wanted to get married on their dating anniversary. Mr. LK and I had to take time off of work, which was a bit of an issue, but not enough to keep us away.
I am getting married on a Thursday, 7/7/11. An intimate wedding of 50ppl total w/ the ceremony starting @ 4:30-5pm. We will be getting married overlooking the ocean and then a wedding dinner @ a local restaurant. Since I'm getting married in a beach city, traffic would have been impossible for ppl to get to and fro(Laguna Beach and the 405fwy) While we take pictures, family can stay @ the ceremony location and then head over to the restaurant.
I say go for it. If you are getting married anywhere near a holiday and its intimate, family and friends will come.
@LadySapphire: I just battled with this question recently and here is what I decided, perhaps it will help.
The people that want to be there will be there regardless of the day you have your wedding. The people that mean the most to you, family and close friends, will come no matter the day. The only people that might think it's rude or inconvienent are those that don't need to come.With STDs you give people up to a year of warning so if they can't plan ahead that is their scheduling issue right?
It's your day and you get more bang for your buck (we certainly did) by having a Thursday wedding then do it. You will have an amazing experience no matter the day and have a little extra in your budget for additional things.
(P.S. our wedding is on a Friday and some have complained but they can deal with it).
I think it's fine, especially for a wedding with about 50 people. You know your guests, so you probably won't be surprised if OOTers can't come. I would come if it was in the city I lived in, but I might leave at like 10 pm.
I got married at four pm on the Thursday before new years eve and we had a cocktail party with heavy apps and open bar. It was awesome and everyone had a great time-no complaints anyway:)
I vote for the Thursday before labor day-more people will take time off before rather than after. And I think saving $1000 is worth it:)
I don't think it's rude to have it on a weekday, but I do think it's rude if you're mad at or judge guests who can't make it (not saying you will, OP, but it's just one line of thinking that the people who love you will be there no matter what). Just know that your wedding will be inconvenient for people, and keep an open mind if people decline!
That said, I would do the Thursday before in case people do have to take off of work. Good luck!
I'm getting married on a Wednesday, and I just accept the fact that there will be people who cannot attend.
Totally fine to do a weekday. Again, you may not get as many guests as for a weekend date, but there's nothing wrong with it. I was married on a Thursday!
A weekday wedding can be a great way to celebrate your marriage while still keeping the costs down. I have worked on quite a few weekday weddings. The biggest suggestion is to realize that a weekday wedding may require a shorter timeline for the convenience of the guests who have to work the next day.
I would be fine with a weekday wedding! I was planning on having a weekday wedding because of how much cheaper it is. Unfortunitely the place we fell in love with is only available on the weekend.
My daughter is having a weekday wedding in Lancaster, PA and will save close to $10,000 when compared to a Saturday wedding of similar details. We've scheduled the ceremony and reception to take place between 7 PM - 11 PM on a Thursday in June. Those who are working locally can go home, shower and dress and be there in time for the ceremony. 11PM is a reasonable time for people to leave and get up for work on Friday. Those guests coming from out of state, will take off Friday and have a great extended weekend in beautiful Lancaster, a vacation destination for many. Those needing airfare and hotel rooms will pay less for those items during the week. So I can confirm it is not rude to have a weekday wedding, it is smart, especially in a down economy.
Check out MyWeekdayWedding.com for all-inclusive weekday wedding packages.
Here's another thought for those in the military or those who do not want long engagements.
On a weekday, you can have your choice of venues and wedding professionals because availability is not an issue. If you or your fiance are dealing with military deployment questions, get married sooner on a weekday.
I don't think it's rude. I do think that less people will attend the wedding because of the inconvenient time, though. As long as you're okay with that then do it!
Even if people don't drink, you can still have a cocktail party before hand. I think I would be more annoyed at the time, then the day of the week. I would have heavy hors from 5-7 (maybe you can walk around in an inexpensive cocktail dress), leave and change into a wedding dress and have the ceremony at 7. Then either have a sit down meal or a massive dessert bar. (no dancing)
@LadySapphire:Not rude at all. If it is the date that you want, and most importantly what you are willing to spend or can afford, go ahead and do it. It is a huge difference in price!
The people that you really want there will make all necessary arrangements to be with you. People that dont go, probably didnt deserve and invite anyways... I say go for it! I love the 9.10.11 thing! lol
@crayfish: What?!?!? $1000 is a lot of savings!! I mean I dont know how much is the budget, but If I was able to save $1000 on my wedding I will take it anyday! And I dont see the inconvenience, people that really want to be there, WILL be there.
You have to know your audience. For instance the position I have at my work, I can't really attend anything during the week. Even if I took a vacation day, not answering my phone at 5 or 6 in the evening could be catostrophic. I wouldn't attend this wedding if it were a friends. If it was my sister I would give her the $1000 to have it on a weekend. I however, also don't attend Friday weddings.
Weekday weddings are as polite as any other day. The whole "Saturdays-are-the-only-day-going" assumption is pretty recent. Before the majority of westerners became urbanized, weddings were set on whatever day of the week the preacher was available -- but of course, avoiding harvest and seeding, and other times when it was unreasonable to expect people to be free.
Nowadays the majority of people work as employees rather than as farmers and craftsmen who set their own hours. So, it is polite to work around what is convenient for your friends. If most of them are nine-to-five suits in office towers, then a Saturday wedding might be a more considerate timing. But as more and more people telecommute and work on a contract basis, people are becoming more flexible. And even today, in the small town where I live, any day is fine as long as people avoid scheduling things during lambing and the cherry-harvest.In a similar vein, if all your friends are accountants, you probably want to avoid April (or whenever your tax-season happens to fall).
Just don't tell people you are inconveniencing them in order to save money for you. Polite people don't talk about money in social situations, and considerate people don't draw attention to the fact that they put a price-tag on the companionship of their friends.
I don't think it is rude at all. Like pps said, depends on your circle. Most people in my family and among my friends work shift, so weekends really don't mean the same thing to us.
Having a wedding on a weekday is no big deal. You just have to be prepared that people may not be able to come because of their work schedule. A plus to that is you will be sure to have those who most love and support you there on your wedding day! Good luck and I hope everything works out for you!
Definitely go for it - just remember that people will need to finish work and then go home and change - and they might have to work the day after, so they *might* not be up for that 2am dance party. But I would be completely happy to go to an in-town 6pm wedding of a close friend, and can't see anything rude about it! (Now, if you were expecting lots of out-of-towners to show, and if it was a 4pm wedding, then that would be a different story - but it sounds like you are sensitive to those facts).
I'm going to add that the last few weddings I've been to, all have been on Sundays or Fridays. Personally, it's a bit frustrating for me. i have to take off work in the afternoon at the very least, or stay up late hours on a work night (Sunday). It's not like this is once a month so that's fine. But my FI and I are going back and forth trying to coordinate how we each get to a wedding that starts when work ends when we're fighting rush hour, trying to get ready, will my vacation time be approved, what to do with the dog, do we take two cars down and neither have a celebratory drink, etc.
I imagine that in some ways these situations may cause the guest to "pay" more, whether it be with vacation time for a local wedding, leaving wedding early, missing ceremony, etc.
I have no problem with couples that choose this option that works for them. But it probably does affect more guests at a "convenience", work, or financial level than a Saturday wedding would. At least that has been my experience. But I'll continue to put in for the vacation time to attend these when I can. It's what works best for the couple. If it means I can't go, then I can't go, but I'll try.
I agree with@LongDistancePlanning. Those who love and care about this very important day in your life will try to make it there no matter what day of the week it is. My fiance & I have always dreamt of getting married on the 4th of July. We set the date for next July 4th. It just so happens that it's on a Tuesday, and my sister is concerned that nobody will be able to make it out here for the wedding. We said if our family and friends care enough they'll be there without a doubt! Good luck!
@Msjansentobe:4th of July should be OK since it's a holiday and many people are off of work. Sounds like a wonderful day to get married!
We're having a Friday wedding. Our venue is all inclusive (country club = ceremony/reception site and caterer).
The fees and whatnot aren't cheaper, but our food/bev minimums ARE, which means we have a lower number to hit before our guest list gets cut off lol.
We've given people a YEAR's notice. If they can't plan for ONE NIGHT a year in advance, then no skin off my bones saving that $166 per person. Just how I see it ;)
I say go for it. I agree with PP's that you should make sure its later in the day that way people may only need to skip out of work a little early rather than taking off a whole day. Unfortunately not everyone's job makes it easy to just get up and go. Good luck!
@peacockchris: I disagree with what you say about the people who can't make it. FI grandma probably won't make it to our wedding, she has health issues and has to travel. I have an aunt where family is the most important thing to her. She sends cards for tons of holidays (graduations, Easter etc.) all with cute stickers and heartfelt notes. She's unable to sit or stand for very long (sitting is extremely difficult for her for a few minutes) and travel is out of the question for her. A friend is going to be at a conference and was willing to miss some of it and waited for the schedule before RSVPing, but it turned out she has to present the day of our wedding so she can't make it. To say that these people didn't deserve an invitation is heartless. I know they really would have liked to be at my wedding, sometimes people just can't come.
To the OP, have your wedding whatever day you want it! Just be understanding that it might make it more difficult for some of your guests, and you might have a few more people who won't attend than if you had it on a weekend.
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