Weekend's Over, Still Waiting

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
7 posts
Newbee

@coachhw:  Like, my sex drive is down to nil because ever since that comment, I’ve been questioning his feelings toward me, toward making a more serious show of commitment like an engagement, and getting married eventually. I don’t feel like we’re on the same page and it’s making me question the relationship a little bit. I just keep thinking in the back of my mind that we’ve wasted all this money on an engagement ring when only one of us is actually ready to be engaged. I guess I’m just being impatient, but I’m just really sad that trying to move toward this engagement seems to have damaged the relationship.
 

Yes, yes, and yes.  Sorry, I don’t have much to add except that i’m new to these boards, and everything I just highlighted describes exactly how I feel.  It’s such a difficult position to be in: you’re upset because you’re not engaged, but by virtue of being upset, it makes it less likely that you’ll get engaged (or at least less exciting when you do).  But on the other hand, what are you supposed to do?  You can’t change the way you feel.  

I’m sorry, I wish I had some wisdom to impart, but I’m just as lost as you.  At least we’re not alone.

Post # 4
Member
7 posts
Newbee

@coachhw:  And of course, when I say “you want to be engaged,” I mean that you want to be engaged to someone who is wildly excited to be engaged to you

 

Post # 5
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

He is probably just waiting for u to stop bringing it up so that he can surprise you

Post # 6
Member
303 posts
Helper bee

@coachhw:  Is he just planning to propose whenever(In the car, getting home from work, lunch date) or is he planning something? It seems he is more of less unsure of doing it since he has it all of time, with no set plan. What I took away from this is you had a great weekend away, had the ring, and didn’t do anything. I don’t think he truely ready or sure.

I know it may be hard but I think you just have to change your mood. Whenever I am upset about waiting, I know being pouty and upset isn’t going to change anything. You don’t want an unhappy proposal do you? Maybe it is scaring him that yopu’re upset and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. Exercise really helps me get over things. Actually, it doesn’t help me get over it, I calms me and reminds me to breathe.

Enjoy your time together even though it may hard, I’m not saying put on a fake smile, just think it could always be worse(what if he didn’t have the ring yet) and you’ll be engaged shortly.

Post # 8
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

@VikingPrincess:  This.  Can we get an answer?

Post # 9
Member
7 posts
Newbee

He’s probably upset that you are going to become pouty and upset the night he is planning on doing it. You both don’t want it ruined like that.

 

Keep your head up!!!

Post # 11
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee

@coachhw:  IMO I would not be okay getting engaged to someone who was afraid to tell their parents.

Post # 12
Member
284 posts
Helper bee

@VikingPrincess:  Being afraid to tell parents and refusing to tell them are, IMO, very different. It’s one thing to be nervous of their reaction and disapproval, but it’s another to keep it a secret.

@coachhw:  I don’t have much advice for you. *hugs* Try to have an extremely honest talk with him, and tell him how you’re feeling. Don’t bring up wedding planning for a little while…see if he regains his bearings after a couple weeks. Hope all works out for you very soon!

Post # 13
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee

@cutiebomb7789:  I think being afraid to tell his parents means something is wrong and they aren’t going to approve somehow. My question is why is that?

Post # 15
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee

@coachhw:  Ok all this makes sense. Take it for what you will but my mother married into my fathers very unapproving family. They were not supportive and made terrible grandparents. I’m sure your fiance loves you and he is a great guy. Think very carefully about what you are getting yourself into with his family though. When you marry someone you marry into the family as well and you can’t change how they feel.

 

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