Post # 1
So FI are back living together after being LDR for a year. Last year he shared a house with roommates, but before that we shared an apartment and I always had to tell him to turn the volume down when watching a movie.
The other night, we were watching a movie and he had the sound system up very loud. I told him to turn it down and he wouldn’t. Our neighbour knocked on the door to say the vibrations were coming into their apartment (from the sub woofer). FI finally turned it down but was grumpy. He feels he should be able to have the volume up, even if it can be heard by the nieghbours or the sub woofer is vibrating their apartment because it wasn’t late at night.
So bees, what do you think? When living in an apartment should you have to keep it down, or should others have to tolerate some noise if it is not late at night?
Post # 3
Yes, I think you have to be respectful of your neighbors. He wasn’t even complaining about the noise, he was complaining about the vibrations, which I would find even more annoying.
I live in a high-rise, and I wouldn’t hesitate to ask my neighbors to turn down the volume if I could hear it, or if it was making my apartment vibrate. If you choose to live an apartment, you choose to have close proximity to your neighbors, and have to deal with that.
Post # 4
@pixiecat: I think that no matter what time it is, if you are living in a community where you share walls/ceilings, that you should always try to be respectful and sensitive to your neighbors. That just comes with living in an apartment. Even if it is not night, you never know your neighbors’ situations and they could work nights/sleep days or have a young child that naps during the day at home.
Post # 5
Definately treat others as you would want to be treated.
This means keeping the volume down. He probably wouldn’t appreciate it if he were trying to go to bed early or take a nap and his wall was vibrating from a movie in the neighbors living room or someone wearing heals above you on a wood floor all day.
Its one thing to for temporary noise (IE construction work, hanging pictures etc) and another for avoidable noise. If the noise is avoidable, avoid it.
To not care about the noise your making if its interupting someone else is very self entitled. Your living style should not encumber someone else’s living style.
Post # 6
@hotpinkbride: That’s exactly what I told him, the time of day doesn’t matter because not everyone has the same schedules. I will work mostly nights so I wouldn’t appreciate noise during the day just because someone didn’t think it was late.
I was so embarassed that the neighbour had to knock on the door, but hopefully now FI will listen to me when I tell him to keep it down.
Post # 7
I don’t like loud noises and if it is just the two of you watching a film then there is no need for it. However, if when you are having friends round for a movie night then maybe having it slightly louder will help. Remember, the more bodies in the room the more the sound will be absorbed. So I think a bit of noise for a party or similar is ok once in a while as long as it finishes in good time.
Post # 8
I think there has to be an option in between your two poll choices. I live in appartments and I think that you need to be flexible on both ends. If a neigbour expects to never hear a peep, (the faint sound of your TV, non-stomping footsteps, occasional time appropriate hammering, etc) they are out to lunch. But of course you should always take care to not be unnecessarily noisy. Blasting your bass or surround sound is an unkind thing to do, no matter what the time of day.
Post # 9
Personally, I don’t think speakers like that should even be in an apartment. Some noise is to be expected, but DH and I got fed up with the vibrations one night and were going to report someone for noise, but we gave up on finding the specific apartment. As we went up, the noise just kept getting louder! I wouldn’t be suprised if it was 8 floors above us. That type of noise carries really well through pipes.
As for the time, you don’t know someone’s work schedule or if they are sick. Trying to sleep off a migraine when there’s a bunch of vibrations really sucks!
Post # 10
Yup treat others as you want to be treated. Imagine if they love listening to Roxette, Look Sharpe! at full volume over and over and over again (this happened to me, my neighbours were daggy deaf assholes) Yes you have the right but is it fair to everyone else? No. You live in an apartment so you need to act accordingly.
Post # 11
I think if it’s anytime after 9 pm he should listen to you and turn down the volume. It’s the considerate thing to do… especially since neighbors have already been complaining. It’s a shared building.
We’re trying to move out of our current apartment building, partially because there are some a-holes who party (and/or sit outside and talk LOUDLY on the balcony til 4 am on weeknights). We get up at 6 to get to work for 7:30.
A number of them have already been evicted. If it’s a weekend or holiday or something I let it go, but I have no qualms about making complaints. I am not going to suffer at work so some jerks can have a party all night.
Post # 12
He should be respectful of the neighbors regardless of the time of day. It doesn’t matter if it’s daytime, he doesn’t know what their sleep/work schedule is like.
Post # 13
I’m sorry, but your FI is wrong. That’s why it’s an apartment. It’s rented & not owned where you can do what you want.
That is exactly why I needed to own my own home.
Post # 14
@pixiecat: I’m sorry, but I think when living in an aprtement that you need to be respectful and thoughtful of your neighbors. I know that I would be pissed if my neighbors were doing that..
Post # 15
@pixiecat: You could get him headphones! I love to blast my music and movies, so I have wireless headphones I wear about 50% of the time I’m home. Really, the sound quality is excellent.
When DH and I watch movies together, I’m careful to keep the volume low, or turn it way down during loud scenes. Luckily my neighbours are equally considerate. I abhor other peoples’ noise — it is just SO RUDE and absolutely unnecessary, and it can make a perfectly lovely apartment a living hell. If your bf was my neighbour I would think he was a grade-A dickhead. Lucky he has you to make him less of a dickhead! (;
Post # 16
- Wedding: October 2014 - local park
definitely keep the volume low- I hate our neighbors because they think because they’re single and childless they can be as loud as they please. There have been several times I’ve had to go over there and ask them to turn down their band practice (wtf are you holding band practice in your apartment) or turn down a video game. Today it was so loud that my stepson couldn’t take a nap- I went over there and may have been a little less than nice. My walls were shaking! I don’t expect them to be silent, but if you’re choosing to live in an apartment complex then you have to choose to respect your neighbors.