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"BEHOLD! WEDDING GUESTS AND SWEET INNOCENT NANAS, I PRESENT YOU WITH HER BOOBS!"

Too funny. Do you live near a little town called Stepford, by any chance?
Hilarious!!! I wouldn't have been mad either - I would have been too entertained to be mad! hehe What a riot!!
By the way, you need to start a blog!!! I love the way you write!
Nope, not Stepford! But it was exactly that tone of voice and mannerisms! We're just outside of Boston.
It was just the weirdest and most entertaining thing. And it was hard to be mad, especially when I found a great dress shortly thereafter. Plus, hello! Free perfume samples.
I came home and told friends, and was telling some work friends today. Everyone was dying laughing. It really plays out better in person because I totally do the hand sweeping gestures for you and talk in the calm monotone pleasant tone.
Hahahahaha - holy cow. I adore the boobs comment as well. I must say, for David's Bridal, that my first experience there was incredibly similar. My friend who came to help had to get up and help put the dresses on me because the girl just sat on the chairs. Very odd.
Then, I went to another one here - it's Orlando, so...-and it was excellent. I tried on what I thought was good, and it was NOT, and the girl brought around what was excellent. However, that is more odd than anything I have experienced. Hahahahaha - still laughing.
I didn't have that experience at David's Bridal but I wouldn't have minded it if I got a great story out of it. Your story is very funny....
I would never go back into David's Bridal after my experience. I went in alone on a weeday mid-morning. There was one couple there befoer me and they were the only other people in the store. They had 4 people working and I was barely spoken to. I was in the store for over 30 minutes looking at shoes, jewelry, etc. and the only thing said to me was "hello" and "good-bye". I didn't see anything I liked anyway, but just thought the service was exremely poor.
I went there for the 1st time yesterday for BM dresses. We had an appointment and a consultant assigned to us...and about 40 others.
They are pretty clueless.
I think it definitely depends on the store. We've had pretty good experiences at the one in upstate NY where my parents live, but the one in NYC is horrendous.
What a really weird experience. I had a great experience with Davids and not so much at others stores. Glad you found another that will work for you. Robot-lady haha!
This made me LOL! (While sitting in my college library)... I wonder what the DB training videos look like.
i had the overly pushy pain in the butt , that would give u every style , EXCEPT for the ones i actually like ..and every price range EXCEPT for the range i told her i would want to spend.. So while she went off to find More dresses for me ..me and my moh went and looked at the racks OURSELVES..and tried on a couple we liked..lol.. i do not like the pushiness ..so i will look at things myself :)
MissACS - that's fantastic. I enjoyed driving the dress ladies crazy because I went by myself and am not effusive at all. I don't think they could tell if I loved or hated a dress.
If you want to try David's again, check out the one in North Attleboro. They've got a couple really nice (and helpful!) salesgirls there. Depending on where in Boston you are, it's quite a hike - but I figured it was worth mentioning.
I also like A Bridal Secret in Quincy. I bought my dress at David's but had it altered there. Judy (the owner) is fantastic.
This is too funny. I also had a pretty terrible David's Bridal experience. Because I am having such a short engagement, I knew I wanted to find my wedding dress at David's because they generally have a short order period. I found my dress fine, with no problems, but that same day we were also looking at bridesmaid dresses.
Three of my BM's were there, including my 6'1" sister, who would obviously need extra length on any dress we ordered. She isn't the only BM who would need it either, and we told our consultant this, and she agreed that my sister would need extra length.
After about 2 hours of trying dresses on me and the BM's decided on one. The store was about to close so we were going to order and leave. When we got to the front of the store, the consultant said: "Unfortunately, that dress doesn't come in extra length."
I thought my mom was going to kill her, she was so angry. She asked which dresses did come in extra length. The consultant showed us THREE dresses that were available in extra length. Of the three two had been tried on an nixed already, because they didn't look good on the girls.
I was so angry, I couldn't believe we wasted 2 HOURS trying on dresses, and the whole time the consultant was saying we could just order extra length no problem, when in reality there were only THREE dresses in the whole store that came in extra length!
Oh man.... she probably wont' have that job long. lol, worst salesperson of the year award to her!
I had a very similar experience at David's Bridal. I went a few times, and worked with different sales people. Three times I went alone, and two time I went with my mom and sister. Everyone I worked with except one woman was completely useless.
Of them all, the only one I wanted to disappear seemed to have only me to work with and wouldn't leave me alone. I had a strict budget, and without telling me she pulled higher priced dresses. I tried one on, and when I realized I didn't pull it, I reminded her of my budget and not wanting to try on dresses out of my budget. She tried to push financing on me, and kept saying all this crap about how it's my "special day" and I should have "the best dress". I was pretty ticked off. She wouldn't give me time to think, and immediately made a judgement about how I felt about the dress I had on - which was almost always wrong. The dress I ended up buying she said "was definitely not the one".
I ended up buying my dress there because of my budget constraints and not wanting to spend a fortune on a dress I'll wear for one day. David's was, unfortunately, one of the only places that had any dresses for under $1000. I love my dress but was not pleased with the service at David's. Thankfully I tend to like to do things my own way, and was able to pull and try on the dresses I wanted to at my own speed at David's.
I also had a weird experience when i was a bm in my friend's wedding, a bit similar to yours. Also similar to the episode where Miranda tries on dresses in SITC.
My friend said no beads and the dresses just kept coming with more and more beads. Meanwhile the lady loved to squeal at every dress my friend tried on. She'd come out with a dress saying she didn't think it was quite right while the sales lady was squealing 'it's perfect, you're so beautiful'.
She didn't get a dress there.
I have looked a couple times and I'm clueless when it comest to what I want in a dress so the consultant I had was amazing the very first dress i tried on looked so amazing on me and then there were others that would need major altering done.
That's hilarious! I was actually really lucky when I went to DB - I had an awesome consultant and ended up getting my dress there. Actually, the consultant I had at a smaller bridal shop I visited sounds exactly like your DB consultant, haha!
that's so funny!! I also went to David's Bridal to try on dresses and I really didn't see anything I liked....if I did I certaintly would have called back for a second appt.....well the lady that helped me has called me 457023847208472 times to see if I wanted to come back....um hello get a hint I am not coming back lol
What a crazy story! I didn't go to David's, just a locally owned shop that one of my friends went to. The girls there were very helpful and listened to me about the things i liked and didn't like about certain dresses.
I love your story about Davids Bridal. I had virtually the same experience, left me wondering what the new consultant orientation process is like.
That story is hilarious. Maybe she had trouble hearing you. I had a similar experience at this weird bridal shop owned by a friend of my grandma's. It was way uncomfortable. I half agreed with the woman so as not to upset her but in reality could not wait to get out of there!
I needed a good laugh. Loved your post. Hopefully I don't ever have to deal with that, but if I do I won't be able to contain my laugh. I giggle at just about everything!
David's Bridal sent me a survey via email yesterday asking about my in store experience.
Don't think I didn't include all of the useless information about "Every bride feels light as air on her wedding day!"
I think the review culminated with "she was pleasant and sweet, but useless."
You're cracking me up! I had a similar experience at David's--I was wearing a dress that I hated. It basically made me look and feel like a float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and the consultant couldn't stop telling me how great I looked. They tried giving me a veil and jewlery and finally I said, "You know, a veil isn't going to get me to like this dress---I HATE it". I was just totally not swayed by the generic comments--in fact, they really turned me off. I ended up buying my dress at a smaller store, where I actually got honest feedback from the consultant.
OH! I got that survey too!haha! I went in on Sunday like an hour before closing, i had an awesome experience though! The ladies there were so nice!!! I actually bought my dress that day in the store! But i've been to other David's that weren't as great. And I agree!Your writing is awesome!
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It's still making me laugh. Even as I recap it to people today.
So Saturday my mom and I went preliminary dress shopping. I figured I'd go try a couple on and see what looks good on me hoping to buy off rack. Simple right? No. Apparently, I have no idea what looks good on me and the consultants at David's Bridal will just agree with anything.
So we grab some dresses in a span of a couple sizes and sign up with a consultant to try some on. The lady was very pleasant. Very nice. But generally useless.
I tried a couple different styles on and some of them were just obviously "ugh" without question. Those that have dress shopped blindly know what I mean. I had dresses accenting the wrong parts, hiding good parts or pushing the cleavage out almost to say "BEHOLD! WEDDING GUESTS AND SWEET INNOCENT NANAS, I PRESENT YOU WITH HER BOOBS!" It was totally not good.
This one dress I had on made me look and feel like a tank. It just was too big and heavy. It cut straight at the parts you want to make narrow. It was somehow the equivalent of putting wide horizontal stripes on. So, I put it on, dragged myself out and lugged that damn dress behind me. My mom and I could see right now that 1) I was never going to pull that dress around especially on the sand. It was like wearing 10 of the lead aprons from the dentists office and 2) it was just not a great dress for my body at all.
My mom cried because she's a mom. Or perhaps she just felt bad that her first born was burdened with 100 pounds of lead satin and sweep train. Maybe it was that motherly thing about something about when your children hurt, you as a mother feel their pain. I never really got a clarification on the crying.
Our consultant saw me dragging this dress around and said "Oh how beautiful! I'll get you a veil and shoes!" and off she went. I sort of looked at my mom, who was still crying either of joy or empathy, and shrugged. "Well, I guess I am getting a veil and shoes."
Consultant came back, somehow convinced I had found the dress of my dreams despite me lumbering around like Snuffalupagus, put the veil on my head and a tiara and gave me shoes that were wobbly and said "Picture perfect!" and waved her hand like Vanna White. She had me walk around in it again.
Consultant is still all positive and she's saying stuff like "Every bride wants to feel special on her very special day!" It was like she had memorized the front of every Hallmark bridal shower or wedding card and was spewing them from her mental catalog. Nothing she said had anything to do with me saying the dress was too heavy or me walking around like gravity had suddenly failed in the dressing room.
I told her it was very heavy and I really didn't like it... and her answer? "On your wedding day, you'll feel as light as air!" And there was more Vanna handsweeping.
Not in this dress, lady. Not in this dress.
I told her I needed to look at others. And my mom and I did. Solo. Because the lady disappeared. And everything we looked at was terrible on me. I didn't get any guidance at all. When she showed up again, we told her we were going to take off because we were pressed for time, so she started pushing the lead tank dress on me.
"You really seemed most comfortable in this one and it looked best on you. Will you be buying this today?"
Okay, time out. What part of me dragging a dress around like it was a 100 pound conjoined twin spoke the words "comfort and beauty" to this woman?
"Yeah no. It was really heavy and didn't do anything for me at all."
And she replied, "Okay great. Well there is an order lead time on this, so if you want to order it you should do it soon. I'll write it down as your favorite on your card here..." and more hand sweeping to indicate the dress and her card.
And let me say I wasn't mad at all. She was nice... I was just dumbfounded. My mom was too. It was the oddest experience.
And for our troubles, I swiped a couple extra samples of the Estee Lauder perfume on my way out.
We went to a non-chain bridal shop up the road, just to "check things out and see" and the woman I dealt with there was fabulous. From the minute I got in the door, she looked me over and pulled a ton of things that not only looked amazing on me, but she didn't say robotic dress lady things.
And no handsweeping.