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The gift display your mom is talking about is totally legit but I think at this point it is a very antiquated tradition. I'm sure she's not too worried about not having one.
But your FMIL - HAHAHA! Seriously?? "But I really like pools!" That just made my afternoon!
@ FutureKMM: yeah, I don't think she is heartbroken, but I couldn't believe she suggested that. The last one she went to must have been in like 1966.
We had sort of uninvited, cross the world guests because my MIL was insistant that the wedding date goes on the announcement (it was not there when I saw what FIL had made but stuck on when she proofed it). Apparently their friends in Italy printed it out and stuck it on their refrigerator. Daughter thought it was an invite and bought plane tickets for her and her mom for the mom's birthday. They were truly delightful but really......who sends a casual announcement out to basically everyone you know and have the date and time of the wedding on it and not expect problems.
My sister hung up on me because I said I didn't want to do the garter thing and when she asked why I said it seems kind of gross....maybe not tactful but she's my sister, thought I could be honest.
Also, everyone came to my rehersal, OK not everyone but there were at least 30 spectators (not in the wedding at all). I was a bit peeved at this expectation and told a bunch of friends just to come to the dinner since my MIL again edited the rehersal invites (they were hosting it) to say show up at the church or for the carpool. Who knows but I guess it gave the wedding character.
I have never heard of a gift display, but I also have to giggle at the picture of it. That just seems so strange, and it must definitely depend on the region where the wedding takes place. Up north, no one gets gifts at the wedding, just the shower, so unless you want to lay checks/cash out on a table for people to see, it wouldn't really work. (The thought of this is what I started giggling at.)
my uncle (dad's BIL) asked TOTALLY seriously if my dad would be paying for their hotel rooms when they come for the wedding. people are craaaaazy.
Spectators at a rehearsal? Doesn't that seem kind of not the point of a rehearsal?
Very funny about the foriegn guests from Italy! Don't announcements usually go out after the wedding? Maybe that's the reason why.
For us, my FH's family is vegetarian. Mine thinks vegetarian is weird. His family was disappointed and surprised that we would be serving meat at the wedding (oh and disgusted) and mine was shocked that we wouldn't be serving mostly meat. There was no way to satisfy everyone so we had to compromise by having meat, vegetarian and vegan food (because we also have plenty of vegans!) which also means two different cakes--the normal wedding cake and one vegan friendly cake.
just for your mom's sake...
this is still a very common thing done in the South. I'm from South Carolina and people still (and I will) display our wedding and shower gifts in the dining room (or somewhere) of your Mother and Father's home. If you receive duplicate gifts you only display one. Such as, one place setting of your china. (It's a way to show off your china and crystal in person) Family and friends visiting your parents, or sometimes there are showers held after you return from honeymoon, or before the wedding held at your parents' home where guests can view the gifts.
so--cut her a break, she's not as out-dated as you think.
and let her know her fellow southerners are still displaying their gifts proudly! :) haha!
best wishes!
My FFIL, bless him, has been really, really worried about what everyone's going to wear to the wedding. FSIL had a house warming a month or two ago so FFIL pulled our Master of Ceremony aside and told her that she needed to start coordinating with the guests to get them to all wear our wedding colors.
When she came over to help me work on wedding invites, she was telling me this and I almost pee'd myself laughing (I knew he's been worried about what people would wear, but I didn't think he'd go that far). She asked me if he was joking or serious...the look on her face when I told her he's serious about this was priceless.
In the end, since all the relatives jumped us at his 60th birthday party, we had to put a message up on our wedding blog (long story about the red pants):
Suggested Dress: All that we ask is you come clothed in more than underwear and red pants (yes, we know who you are…all of you) ! What you come clothed in is up to you and your other half!
Well my latest one is my grandmother expects her dog to be allowed at the wedding/reception. Yes I realize it is an outdoor wedding, but there aren't any dogs allowed by the venue contract. She is still causing me a headache about it. 
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So we've had the thread about weird things our FIs have said during the wedding planning.
Now we could share weird things our families have expected or said during the process.
This may not sound weird to you, but my mom was saying that it is too bad I don't live near enough family to display my wedding gifts. I was like, WTH? And she explained that where she grew up (Alabama), people would display their wedding gifts for everyone to come look at for a period of time after the wedding. Like an open house, but to come look at gifts.
I laughed for a good 2 minutes straight. Then she told me that the prized item at her SIL's display was the cake knife sent by Governor and Mrs. Wallace. And then I was almost crying I was laughing at her so hard (and my family was anti-segregation, so what was up with that?).
Poor mom.
Other story. So I am getting married on the California coast, in a rural area. It is hard to get to, because the coast is mountainous.
My FMIL said the other day that she was going to book a hotel in a town about 30 miles away (60 minutes driving) because it had an olympic sized pool (she's crazy). Now, this woman lives on the coast and knows about mountain driving, but I still had to explain to her that maybe driving on windy mountain roads at 1 in the morning wasn't the best plan.
Her response? "But I really like pools!"