(Closed) Weird help needed for upcoming sibling wedding!

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Wow that is super weird. Good luck with that.

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’d call and blatantly ask the brother what is going on. That’s totally unfair to the guests.

I’d be ridiculously blunt! “Hey bro….your Fi isn’t returning my calls. I know she is busy, BUT i haven’t received an invitation so I have no idea what’s going on with your wedding which is in 4 weeks. i have to plan! I’m coming into town”. He needs to know this stuff, I mean, really. I’d ask when she is available to talk and honestly, i’d probably do some hounding cuz uh, it’s not really cool to do that to your guests.

Post # 5
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Could your parents be any help?  Do they know anything?  Might be worth checking in with them (you said your Dad’s wearing a tux, so he’s obviously heard something about something, right?).  Good luck – it sounds like a difficult position to be in!!

Post # 6
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with EJS – talk to your brother and just come right out with your questions.  He’s your brother, you should be able to speak openly.

Post # 7
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That is a little odd but then again I’m a planner too.  I had my website with all the hotel info and maps up as soon as the save-the-dates were sent out!  I want to make it easy for guests and no surprises.  Some people aren’t wired that way.

So, I too would call him and be direct.  Tell him you have a busy schedule and you need to plan accordingly.  So if he intends on having you there he needs to give you all of the information.  And, while you’re at it, I’d tell him that his fiance hasn’t called you back.  I’m sure she’s busy but your the FSIL, you have to at least call back!  I understand maybe not sending out a physical invitation since they assume you’re going but you still need information.  Hope it gets to ya on time!

Post # 8
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I agree that you need to just call your brother and be up front with him.  Don’t bother to continue trying to get a hold of his fiance or anything – it’s coming really soon, just ask! 

Post # 9
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You know, I JUST read a thread from a girl who neglected to send invites to siblings, because she assumed they would know they were invited… is it possible she just overlooked you? Assumed you would be ‘in the loop’ via your parents or brother? I’d check with your brother, asking SPECIFIC questions (and from the start of the conversation – be very direct) or else with Dad/Mom, to find out if invites have gone out, double check you’re invited, and other details (when to arrive, dress, etc.)

Odd though.

Post # 10
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

This is odd.  Try and hit up your parents for the info, but otherwise, keep bugging your brother.

Post # 11
Member
2719 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would talk to your brother after trying one last time calling his FI. Let him know what’s happneing-that she hasn’t returned any calls & that you need to book flights & get all this information. Tell him that he has to talk to you and tell you what’s going on, don’t have him pass you off. I know it’s harsh-but if he keeps trying to push you off & she’s not calling back, I would threaten to not go to the wedding. That’s just me though 🙂

Post # 12
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

I would call FSIL one last time and explain in the message that you know she is busy, but you need information about the logistics so you can plan your trip.  Wait 24 hours, then call your brother and explain that FSIL isn’t giving you details, you haven’t received an invitation, and you don’t know where/when things are happening, which is a huge problem because you are traveling.

BTW – I’m a huge planner myself and stuff like this really irritates me.  Its rude not to return calls and its rude not to give your guests (especially family) logistical details about the wedding.  

Also see what your parents know.  Is is possible your brother assumes (incorrectly) that your parents are keeping you in the loop?

Post # 14
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

As sister to the groom I think it’s very safe to say you are invited to “wedding events”

Post # 15
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would also assume you are invited to everything being a sibling. I know when my brother sent his invites out my SIL asked if she really had to reply because she was obviously going and thought it was weird they got an invitation. Also my neighbor thought it was weird she got an invitation to her son’s wedding when he got married. Maybe she just thought you knew you were invited and didn’t think it was necessary to send you an invite.

I would call my brother and talk to him. I am helping out my FSIL next month for her wedding and she doens’t always get back to me about things so I’ll either call me brother myself or get my mom to (mostly get my mom to). Tell him you’ve tried to contact her and that all you really need to know right now is when to book your trip since you are coming from out of town. Good Luck!

Post # 16
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I agree with the others.  Call her, call your brother when they might be together and then he could pass the phone, or try your parents. 

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