Post # 1
- Wedding: October 2014 - Kukahiko Estate
So my FI has a friend who works as a hairstylist at a nice salon. FI and her catch up maybe every other month (since she cuts his hair), and she and I are just aquaintences. I had asked if she would like to do my hair for our destination wedding, and she said of course! We sent out invites a few weeks ago and hadn’t gotten her RSVP back yet. She was invited without a guest since I figured she would be doing my hair, and she is not seeing anyone.
A week or so ago, me, my FI, her, and another friend met up for dinner. First, she showed up 45 minutes late to a nice steakhouse. Second, she brough an extra person without telling us, so we had to cram 5 people at a 4 top table. The guy she brings is rude, obnoxious, and even trashes my job and the company I work for (who does that??). Later on, the wedding comes up, and she mentions she has her RSVP on her. She hands it to me and I don’t open it until we get home.
Turns out, she RSVPd for 2 people. This isn’t a huge issue, we can accomodate 1 more, but I was concerned her +1 was this rude guy we just met (she didn’t write down names). FI texted her and asked who her plus 1 is and she won’t respond. At this point….its been a week and she hasn’t told us what’s going on. I know we can’t control who people bring, but this guy was bad. We don’t want him at our intimate destination wedding!
So, Bees, my dilemma is that I asked her to be my hairstylist for the day. With being late, rude, and unresponsive, I am worried the same thing will happen on my wedding day. Should we uninvite her, ask her just not to do my hair, or what?
Also worthy of note is that before I asked this girl to do my hair, I actually had an appointment with someone at the destination to do my hair and my bridesmaids. I haven’t cancelled that yet due to all the confusion the past few weeks.
Post # 3
@penguinbee: What’s rude is that she would ADD a plus 1 when she wasn’t given one. IMO since she is a guest and not just nedor keep your hair trail appt and go with them if you like then and let her know you found someone to do your hair because you want her to enjoy herself as a guest.
Post # 4
If you aren’t short on invitations I wouldn’t uninvite her to the wedding, but I would think twice about her doing your hair. She obviously isn’t responsible enough to show up on time, so you wouldn’t want her to be late to do your hair the day of. I would just tell her to enjoy herself at the wedding, and that you found someone to do your hair the day of that works in the area. That way she doesn’t have to lug around any hair supplies to your DW. Make it seem like it’s in her favor.
Post # 5
@penguinbee: I would keep your appointment and go with another hairstylist. This lady is clearly unprofessional and wants to use your wedding as a vacation with her and her new boyfriend. I don’t think you should gamble with your wedding hair and just find someone more professional who you can count on and trust. I would also call her and tell her that you have found someone else to do your hair and also let her know that she does not have a plus one seeing as it is a small, intimate, destination wedding, and you understand if she does not want to come any longer.
I would’nt worry about hurting her feelings, she obviously isn’t worried about losing yoru business.
Post # 6
you can’t uninvite her – that’s super rude. you CAN gently explain that she was not given a plus one (intimate wedding, etc) . and you can tell her that actually you found a great stylist at the destination and you’re going to get your hair done with bridesmaids etc ‘so you can relax and enjoy our wedding day!’
in my opinion, the last two are your only options. but i’d call her up – rather than texting her because everything gets waaay more complicated if her plus one buys a ticket.
Post # 7
@penguinbee: I think that for destination weddings, you kind of have to give more people +1s, unless you know they have someone else to stay with. But it is reasonable to ask who the plus one is. It would be super rude to uninvite her, whether or not she is doing your hair. If you aren’t confident she’s not going to be flaky, I would just hire someone to do your hair and have a contract and all that jazz.