Post # 1
Kinda a long story:
My bridal shower is this Saturday. I asked my bridesmaids before setting the date with my aunt if they could make it and they all said yes.
Last weekend, we were visiting FI’s mom for his little brother’s birthday party. FI’s mom mentioned that bridesmaid B (FI’s sister) was going to pick up her husband child from a previous relationship on the way to the shower and bring her with (along with her 3 other children- only 2 (the girls) were invited). Bridesmaid B has never met her husbands other child. Neither have I. In fact, I only knew about her because of a post her husband had made on facebook.
FI didn’t like the sound of this and contacted his sister to say it wasn’t such a good idea and that the bridal shower maybe wasn’t the place for me to be meeting new people. He suggested that bridesmaid B could pick the child up after the shower to meet her. Bridesmaid B said she wanted the other child there to help watch her children. FI said that there would be plenty of people (including grandma) there to help her with the children. Bridesmaid B said that she understood and wouldn’t bring the other child.
Today my aunt calls and lets me know who hasn’t RSVPd to the shower and wants final numbers for food. So we start contacting the people who haven’t called her yet. FI calls his sister and now she “can’t make it” but gives no other explaination. Also, her husband has de-friended me on facebook.
I don’t know how I feel about this. What are your thoughts?
Post # 3
It seems like her reaction is a bit extreme to me, but IMO she is acting out of hurt feelings. She may feel like she is being forced to choose between your shower and her husbands child (not due to you, but maybe due to him). There is no way to know what is really going on in her heart and head without talking to her. I would give her a call. She is you FSIL, you want to make sure you start and stay on good footing.
Post # 4
It sounds like your bridesmaide has been put in a very hard place, no matter what decison she makes someone will be unhappy. Her husband will be mad at her if she puts your shower before his child, but you obviously are upset she has chosen this child over yourt shower. If I were her I would support my husband too- it is his child, therefore someone who should be important to her too (even though it sounds complicated with them!). I understand that you don’t want any drama at the shower, but if it keeps the peace in her family and means she will come let her bring her step child.
Post # 5
Is this other child a boy or girl?
Post # 6
The other child is a girl. They have been married for 5 years and bridesmaid B has yet to meet her husbands other child. The only reason she thought now was a good time is because my shower is in the town next to where the other child lives (like 10 mintues apart), and that is a good 2 hours away from where they live. So it was a convinience/close proximity thing. They had known the shower would be a good drive- I live 1.5 hours away and they expected the showere to be in my hometown. Instead we planned it for out at my aunts lake home (1.5 hours from me, and 2 hours from them). I don’t think I am bothered by any of this, I am just confused and wish I had been given a reason.
Post # 7
She wanted to pick up a child she hasn’t bothered to ever meet before and subject her to a bridal shower where she’d know no-one? Uh… yeah. No.
Post # 8
@NDBride2011: Sounds like FSIL wanted to kill two birds with one stone: Pick up step daughter, go to your shower (while spending time with step daughter), then drop step daughter off back at home after the shower, before heading home herself.
If her step daughter can’t come to the shower, FSIL will have to a) spend double the time in this town (shower, then time with step daughter), and b) figure out something that she can do with step daughter. Double the inconvenience for FSIL.
Post # 9
I think this all sounds so childish.. Not of you.. Just everyone else.. If I were you I would just let everything play out and not stress out to much over this.