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I have a similar situation, and Ive been racking my brain as to whether its fair on the guests. Weve got 50 seats (with 150 guests) at least, and theres no way of renting others, as thats all thats permitted on the small lot outside the ocean. The rest will all be gathered around standing. Ive been rationalizing that it will just be a short ceremony so they shouldnt be standing for long....But I still don`t know how the logistics of it all will work. How many guests will need to be standing for your ceremonyÉ
Are you going to make them aware before the ceremony, or let them find out when they get there, or could you maybe do benches...typically you can seat more ppl on a bench than on chairs.
Good Luck!
It wouldn't be the end of the world, but I think it may detract from your ceremony in that guests may be distracted by how long they've been standing rather than focusing on your ceremony. I don't think standing for 30 minutes is a burden, but at the same time, if women are in heels, etc, they might be displeased.
That said, if you do end up really needing your guests to stand, I'd try to keep the ceremony closer to 20 minutes than 30.
I, honesltly, would grumble about having to stand. It wouldn't bother me if it was only 15-20 minutes though. I would just make sure that your ceremony is short enough for the comfort of your guests.
since you'll have chairs for people who need them (ie elderly), that takes away the biggest issue for making people stand. otherwise, i think it depends on the formality a bit. i'd probably be annoyed if it was super formal and i was wearing uncomfortable heels. but if you can let people know beforehand, via your website, and it's not super formal, i think it'd be okay? but standing might be what people remember about your wedding, rather than any of the details.
I probably wouldn't be trilled if I had to stand during an entire ceremony. I think 20-30 minutes is kind of a long time to stand completely still. People will start to get fidgety, I would think. Maybe you guys could help offset the $600 and chip in for part of it...that way your parents would feel better about it? I also think it would be harder to some people to see if they are all standing up together.
Thanks for all your opinions! They are greatly appreciated! I am not thrilled with the idea either of having people stand, but I wanted to get people's opinions before making a decision. It's been something that has been bothering me even though my FI doesn't think it's too big of a big deal at all. Thanks again!
The problem is that your guests would be standing for a lot more than the length of the ceremony. People tend to allow extra time to get to a wedding, since they don't want to be late, and thus often end up 15 minutes or so early. So for a half hour ceremony, they could be on their feet for 45 minutes.
Also, the first people to arrive often take all the seats--and don't necessarily give them up when elderly or disabled guests arrive. So the guests who really need seats may not have them.
I would be bummed if I had to stand for 20-30 minute ceremony plus the time waiting before ceremony, especially if I was wearing heels. How many guest will you have? Do you have to rent the chairs through the venue? Most rental companies in our area rent white folding chairs for around $2 and some even rent white plastic bistro chairs for less.
Is it at all possible for you to rent chairs from another company/place? It might not look as nice because they wouldn't match the ones from your venue, but you could just not use those and only use your rentals.
Personally, I've never liked the idea of weddings without chairs. I think people might start thinking "ok, when will it be over already" instead of being able to focus on the ceremony.... just me, though. If you decide to go without, the people who are closest to you won't care anyway! :)
I think it's kind of bad to ask people to stand because beyond just having seating for elderly guests what about guest with health problems? Or guests with babies?
It seems kind of difficult to say who can and cannot have a seat. Plus traditionally wouldn't you want your family in the front? If your family is capable of standing then you'll have to put them behind all the seated guests.
I also be concerned about people being able to see. If everyone is standing it makes it difficult for shorter people to see and hear - plus if you have any children as guest they could miss out.
If you DO have to have them stand I'd suggest having you and your FI elevated on a platform so then everyone would at least be able to see.
please don't ask people to stand. it will detract from your ceremony because they'll be thinking about how long they've been standing, how much their feet hurt, and how annoying it is that you are making them stand. for me, i would go with the cheaper venue that can accomodate everyone rather than the more expensive one where people have to stand.
i was just watching 4 weddings and one wedding everyone stayed standing and therefore no one could see the ceremony at all, which defeats the entire purpose of being there.
I would try tp provide seating if at all possible. Whenever I'm at some event where everyone is standing, I can never see, and I know that would bother me at a wedding. Plus, what if all the early guests take up the chairs, and then someone who needs one (like an older person) comes later- do they have to ask someone to get up? It will just be awkward and I would try to cut the budget elsewhere first if at all possible.
I do not think it is rude, but I would also never dream of making my guests stand. At what age are you determining the guests qualify for the "elderly" seat. I do not consider myself to me elderly, but I would not feel comfortable standing in heels. Your guests will probably arrive a little early, the ceremony might start a little late, and then if you are having a receiving line, that means more being on their feet. I am also short, and if I was a guest at your wedding and had to stand, I would probably not get to see the ceremony because everyone in front of me would be taller than me. I would guesstimate at least an hour of standing, if not more. I think that if your parents don't want to pay for the extra seats, that you and your FI should pay for them.
Can you shorten the ceremony? Ours will be about 10 minutes and we will ask people to stand. Except for grandmas--we are bringing chairs for them. I've been to a standing wedding before, and for 10 minutes it wasn't bad at all.
Depends on the length of the ceremony. Ours lasted 10 minutes, was outdoors. We did not rent chairs as there were park benches nearby if guests needed to rest. But everyone stood during the ceremony and we had no complaints.
Thanks girls for all your responses! I think we'll have to discuss this further but I think we'll be providing chairs or otherwise it'll be either using the other venue (which is also nice) if we can't fit it in our budget. Our ceremony I think will be probably 20-30 minutes and I want our guests to be able to sit. Thanks again!
I don't think it will be rude to have people stand if you do one or two things:
1. you let people know this ahead of time so they can plan on wearing comfortable shoes via the invite or wedding website
2. shorten your ceremony time
I hope this helps
I put no (not rude); I've stood at 2 weddings now and did not mind BUT keep it short. 30 is pushing it.
As someone who is 5'1", I would not be able to see anything! Kids may also be harder to control if everyone is standing (I think...I don't have any so I can't say for sure).
Pictures might also be nicer if people are sitting.
I just wanted to chip in and state that this isn't totally unheard of. I agree with others that its not ideal, but its also not totally uncommon. My brother is having people stand at his wedding (same deal 20 chairs provided the rest are too expensive to rent), which is outside in a garden. The thing I'm worried about this his is that its going to be super hot (late august in the late afternoon, shoot me) and there will be no shade... so 30+ min of standing might seem like a really long time then..... but hopefully your accommodations will be a bit cooler :)
Add about 20 minutes onto the time you were assuming they would be standing. Because people will get there early or if you are running late they'll have to wait. I honestly think it is a little rude to have them standing if it isn't a beach wedding where they could take their shoes off or something.
My friend didn't have enough seats for her ceremony and as a result about 1/2 of the wedding had to stand. It was a short ceremony, but still a major pain in the butt for 1/2 the guests who didn't expect it and were in heels or uncomfortable shoes.
i think the worst part about standing at a ceremony is not the lenght of time (which im sure is not fun for folks wiht back or knee problems) but i can never SEE or hear.
im short, and people arent usually really nice about making room for the vertically challenged, so i end up in the back sandwiched between to tall people straining to hear the vows so i can be part of the ceremony.
when people are seated it usually puts everyone on equal footing or at least you can lean to a side if you cant see.
I would try and find $$ in the budget for chairs. somewhere. even if its like benches, or covered haybales or SOMETHING to get people to sit.
I'd be really cranky if I was invited to a wedding and got there 10-15 minutes before the ceremony started and realized I'd have to stand for 10-15 minutes before the ceremony plus 20-30 minutes after the ceremony. Is it possible to rent chairs from another vendor? Or negotiate for your venue to provide them for a cheaper rate? Or can you use other chairs at the venue (like the ones for your reception tables)?
I was at a wedding ceremony last year in a cute little Japanese garden...there was no space for chairs, so the guests all stood. If the ceremony had been longer than about 20 minutes, I think people would have gotten antsy. However, no one seemed to mind standing for 20 minutes, and the ladies who did need to sit plopped down on some of the big rocks in the garden. For me, the pretty area completely made up for having to stand!
What type of feel are you going for with your wedding? If you're doing more of a relaxed feel, like a garden wedding or picnic wedding... maybe you could have old blankets and pillows for people to sit on?
(Source: StyleMePretty)
Just an idea! :)
I went to a wedding of a friend from high school way back when, and usually the congregation takes the "cue" to sit down from the mother of the bride.
Well she forgot to sit down, so the entire congregation stood for the entire ceremony. It was wierd, odd, and at the very end, the mob realized her faux pas and finally sat down.
My feet were killing me in my heels, nobody could see well, and it was just wierd. You want people to see your vows, and not be distracted from being worried about sore feet or somebody being a foot taller than them in the row in front of them or something.
I vote for splurging and getting the extra chairs.
I agree with making the ceremony a little shorter to 20 min. Have seats for elderly or anyone else who might need it. Do they have any benches that you could use and maybe put cushions or fabric over them?
I love the idea with blankets! I don't know what kind of vibe you're going for, but I've even seen people do the hay stacks covered in fabric as a cheap seating option.
How many guests are you having? And why are your chairs costing so much!? I have found tons of places that rent chairs for $1.50 a chair. Even if you are having 150 guests you would only need to rent approx 120 chairs which would equal $180 for chair rental. Don't forget that you dont need to rent chairs for your officiant, bridal party and yourselves! So add up all the people standing up front then subtract that number from the number of chairs you were thinking!
Even if you had 200 people at your wedding - that would only be $300 for chairs!
I think you just need to do more research for chair rentals. And yes, I think most people would not appreciate having to stand through a 20-30 minute ceremony with no place to sit beforehand. Also, I see you are getting married in June and it might be hot and I think people would prefer to sit!
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I would love your opinion from the hive since you are all very wonderful :-)
We have finally (yay!) narrowed down our venue choices (where we are having both the ceremony and reception) down to 2, and we are hopefully going to make a decision soon. One venue we are looking at is definitely nicer, but it slightly more expensive than the second one. The only issue with this one is that for the ceremony package, they only provide 30 seats. If we would like more, we would have to rent them ourselves and would add another $600 or so. My parents (who are wonderful and are graciously paying for the venue) aren't too thrilled with paying that money for only 20-30 minutes for the ceremony. The only option then is to have them stand. Of course we would provide the seats for the elderly, etc. who should be sitting. I guess my question is whether or not it is okay to have the guests stand for a 20-30 minute ceremony? My parents are semi-okay with it, and FI doesn't have a problem, but for me it seems like an issue to have the guests stand. I feel like we should be providing them seats even if it is fairly short. We could go with the second place, which is nice, but I guess I have my heart set on the nicer facility, hehe. Any opinions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks so much and sorry for the long post!