Weird Wedding Gift

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
5195 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Wow, I have no words.  I commend you for wanting to take the high road.

Post # 3
1104 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

that is very odd and I see what you would be offended, especially becuase it’s from your BROTHER and he told you straight up how he got the gift.

To clarify, did you say you have spent tens of thousands of dollars on him and his family?!

Post # 4
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I am gob-smacked. I can’t believe he bragged about it! Personally, and especially if it were my brother, I’d have to respond at LEAST about the fact that his kids never got their gift. That is just nuts!!!

Post # 6
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I would say: “Tell *insert children’s names*, thank you very much for the wedding gift” and would send a Thank you card to the children ONLY. That way you have shown your appreciation AND made it plain what you think. There would be no way for him to confront you about this without coming off as a complete selfish jerk!

Post # 7
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Wow, that is awful.  I would definitely say something to him only because he deprived his kids of your gift and somehow thought that was appropriate.  

Post # 8
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If it was my brother, I’d call him on it.  “Yes, we received the gift and it’s lovely and much appreciated. However, I’m a little concerned that the voucher you used seems to be the same one that I gave my nieces/nephews for Christmas. I would be hurt if the children did not receive a gift from us as intended at the holidays.  Can you help me understand that?”

Post # 9
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

kiwihoney:  are you 100% sure they used the voucher you gave their kids to buy your wedding present?  is there any way they could’ve gone to the same store and bought your wedding present w/their own money while letting the kids spend the voucher?

Post # 10
41 posts
  • Wedding: May 2014

WOW. I’m in the “thank the children” camp. I mean, this was your wedding for chrissakes. It’d be different if it were a birthday or something like that. 

Post # 11
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Send a thank you to the family for the gift and stop sending vouchers for gifts.  I have a friend that has a small child and every time someone gives her money or a gift card for the child she spends it on herself instead of the child.  I learned to only give actual physical gifts for the child or nothing at all.  Plus, sending a voucher can be annoying because it has to be redeemed for the gift.  Maybe he thinks his kids get enough gifts.  If he bragged about using the voucher, it’s likely he and/or his wife regularly regift stuff, in which case you should stop sending their kids gifts if they’re just going to be re-gifted like that.

Post # 12
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

YES…exactly what Karmagirl what I would do. It’s your brother. Call him out on it and ask. YOU intended that gift to be for the kids. 

Did he state in the email that he knew the voucher was from you originally or did he think it was from someone else? That’s just bizarre. Sounds like he doesn’t know the “rules” of regifting..first one being..don’t regift to the person who gave it to you!! lol

Yeah, I’d be too bothered not to say anything back. Be open and honest with him how you feel. 

Post # 13
1926 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ugh this kind of thing happened to me too. I picked out a birthday present for my MIL and she gave it back to me for Christmas and made SURE to point out that she did that.

Now DH just gives her a gift card to Amazon where we know she will spend it, because we aren’t going to pick out something thoughtful (unless I really like it and want it for myself) because I will just get it back…

I am sorry your BIL is tacktless like this… Some people are just CLUELESS!

Post # 14
5162 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

kiwihoney:  Super weird that he TOLD you he used the gift card…but honestly?  Just let it go.  At the end of the day, it’s all just money being exchanged, it doesn’t really matter.  

Clearly you and your brother have different ideas about the role and importance of gift giving.  Some people are good at gift giving and really care about it.  Other people just don’t get it.  It’s not necessarily a sign of how he values you.

Post # 15
5162 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

beachbride1216:  “Maybe he thinks his kids get enough gifts.  If he bragged about using the voucher, it’s likely he and/or his wife regularly regift stuff, in which case you should stop sending their kids gifts if they’re just going to be re-gifted like that.”


I don’t know how old his kids are (I’m imagining little ones) but if he as the parent thinks they already have too many toys/clothes/books/whatever, I wouldn’t really blame him for not using the GC as intended.  Kids recieve an overwhelming amount of gifts these days and the wastefulness is crazy.

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