Post # 1
So my FI and I were in no way shape or form trying to have a kid. I have very irregular periods and I was told that I either had endometriosis or cysts or some other lady part nonsense problem. For the last few months my periods have been almost 40 days apart so I knew I had problems but worrying about getting pregnant was not one them.
<br />Well today I took two pregnancy tests and got a big old positive on both of them in no time.
<br />Our wedding is supposed to be in May but I’m guessing I’m going to be the size of a house by then. My FI is being amazing and supportive and all that jazz, I guess I’m just sad that things aren’t going how I thought they would. We’ve been talking about getting married sooner rather than later… I guess I want to, and in a way it’s a blessing in disguise because my FMIL wanted a BIG fancy wedding and we want something intimate and casual so that’s def going to happen now…
<br />I know everything is going to turn out well but I just wasn’t ready for this. I know it is my own fault; I know where babies come from and I couldn’t tell you why we weren’t more careful; we just weren’t.
My mom and my sister and all of our friends are being very supportive. We haven’t told my dad yet though; he is very old fashioned and I know he’s going to be very disappointed… Plus I have been taking care of the family business and I am terrified that he is going to fire me and write me out of the will and I have put my heart and soul into this business for the past 9 months. I think that’s what I’m mostly worried about. Idk. I don’t even know what I’m looking for by writing this I guess I just needed to get this off my chest.
I just don’t want this baby right now, and I feel terrible thinking that way. I really want to love and cherish it but all I’m feeling is sadness and anxiety.
This topic was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by MrsRoberts52.
Post # 2
Hugs* but, he/she is here so there is no use in people being upset it wont change anything hopefully they understand that and once telling your father is out of the way (fingers crossed he will be happy) hopefully you can start being excited too … Once he has that little one in his arms he will melt sounds like you have a lot of support it will all be okay … promise
Post # 3
Well, you JUST figured this out, so I would let it settle for a few days. I think that you should definitely do whatever is right for you, but as written, it sounds like you would like to keep the baby, so I am going to respond as if that’s the case.
Have you actually talked to your dad? Sometimes we think we know how someone would react and they surprise us. I don’t know your dad, but if he were to fire his own hardworking daughter because of this, that would make him not only a pretty crap father, but also a really crap businessman. Anyone who fires someone who really does put their heart and soul into a business (provided you’re not a disaster, which I’m betting you aren’t) is dumb. I highly doubt your dad would want to even start on a hiring process for something you’ve been helping him to build. As for him being disappointed, that’s hard, but well…sometimes we disappoint our parents. They get over it; it’s part of the gig of being a parent.
And otherwise, it seems that you’re worried because it’s a wrinkle in your plans and a disruption in your timeline, but from where I sit, you’ve kind of won the jackpot:
– you conceived, even though you are low fertility
– your family and friends are supportive
– you have a caring partner who wants to marry you and have a family with you
I understand the disappointment about the wedding and all, but you have to remember that a wedding is about getting married. And honey, this is marriage. If your FI has been supportive and you feel comfortable with him, at the very least, I’d say that you’ve got a bright future together.
Post # 4
*hugs* everything will work out! Thinking of you!
Post # 5
I’m sure everything will work out. Its all new to you, so of course you’re freaking out right now. Give it a few days, and your head will be clearer.
Post # 6
MrsRoberts52: This is a huge change so it’s normal to feel sadness and anxiety. I think once you tell your Dad and have some time to wrap your head around it, you will feel SO much better. Try not to worry too much about your Dad’s reaction, even if he is upset at first he will eventually turn around. This is a blessing even though it doesn’t seem like it now!! Congratulations!!! You will be a beautiful glowing bride and at about 5-6 months prego your bump should be adorable. Life takes some unexpected turns sometimes, just try to keep your head up and take care of yourself!! Hang in there, and congrats again.
Post # 7
Just from talking to you before, you dad might be upset/shocked at first, but I would really hope he wouldn’t cut you from the business or will. I don’t think he will based on what I know. I know this wasn’t your timing, but life has a funny way of doing that to us sometimes. I know your dad is older so it will be nice for him to have his fav grandchild (I’m sure your baby will be his fav lol) around sooner rather than later. You’re a little older than me, but I know if we were to get pregnant, we would be shocked but happy and would make it work. I have faith that you will be the same way!!
Post # 8
MrsRoberts52: once this sinks in, and you hear that little heartbeat, it will seriously melt your heart. Everything always works out, just often not the way we plan!
And, as far as your parents, this is their grandbaby! Unless they’re crazy, they’ll be super excited (even if they’re shocked at first).
Btw, pregnant brides look gorgeous! You’ll look beautiful, and you’ll always look back at your special day knowing that your munchkin was there to celebrate it with you 🙂
Post # 9
First of all, congrats on this little miracle person! You’re not 15 and lost, you’re a grown woman with a supportive crew behind you. It’s all going to work out the way it’s supposed to. Trust the universe! Your father will support you no matter what, just find a good way to tell him, in private.
Post # 10
Like others have said…and I will tell you from my own experience…it is rare that things go exactly as we plan.
But, you have to look at it this way. You are having a baby with the man who you are marrying. You know him, you love him, you trust him…it isn’t like a random stranger or someone you barely know. So all will be A okay!!!
Just move up the wedding, and like you said, this will help you keep it smaller and more initimate. And ten years from now, heck orobbaly 5 years from now, you will not have had it any other way…the exact timing won’t matter al all:)
Good luck and congrats XX
Post # 11
- Wedding: A very pretty church.
MrsRoberts52: Wow, that is very big (scary big) news, but it sounds like you have a pretty awesome team on your side! Not sure where you are or how far along but you probably have the option to not become a mother (right now) if that is what you would prefer, though I am guessing that if you’re announcing it to all your network you have already decided. Best of luck whatever you choose and however it goes but know that it’s okay to feel how you feel.
Post # 12
Thank you all for the responses. It is 6 am here and I am currently sitting on the toilet bawling my eyes out. My poor cat can’t figure out whats wrong with me. I’m glad I’m finally freaking out at least that’s some sort of reaction. Yesterday I felt like I was on auto pilot.
I think we have decided to elope. My best friend is a photographer so we are going to ask her to take our photos. My dress is a summer time dress but I’m sure I can figure something out; I love it and now my boobs will fill ot out naturally so at least there is that… Also we bought our wedding rings a few days ago so we basically have everything we need…
Well. Wish me luck. I will def keep you all posted because this is helping me keep my sanity. Oh, we have also decided to not tell my dad until after the wedding. I know it is dishonest but we are very financially comfortable right now and I know my dad would come around in the end (and also him amd my mother got married the day I was born so he has no room to talk) but I’m just too scared to find out what he’d say. My fmil is very disappointed and that hurt to hear worse than I thought it would. My dad is gifting us a house as a wedding present and I had actually already started moving in before we found out I was pregnant so that is really weighing heavily on my heart. My dad really is supportive but I seriously just cannot tell him this, is that wrong?
Just to give some perspective on how my dad reacts to things, I had a bf from NZ when I first started college. My dad thought it was improper for an unmarried couple to travel together (I visited NZ with him) and my dad didn’t speak to me for a year. I know that is really messed up and had nothing to do with me and everything to do with his own personal issues, but that is all I can think about when I think of telling him.
Post # 13
MrsRoberts52: everything will be okay. Sending you big Internet hugs!
Post # 14
MrsRoberts52: Congratulations! This isn’t what you wanted, but it’ll be okay. Instead of eloping, you may want to consider a super small wedding where you tell your parents and siblings and invite them. I would only give them a week of notice, but would absolutely invite them. I know my father would forgive me for being pregnant, but not for eloping.
Post # 15
I’ve been following your story and I really think once you’re married and your father sees the photo’s of you and hubby happy as clams it’ll be okay. Just sit him down and tell him about your wedding and then say that you have another surprise for him and tell him slowly. I’m sure you’ll cry and he might need a little time to let it sink in, but tell him that you’re happy and nervous and really need his support. Fingers crossed for you 🙂 Smile like a crazy person and remind him this wasn’t how you intended things to go but you’re here now. Hopefully he thinks back to himself and your mother and decides things will be well. You sound like you’re a favorite and you’re smart, he won’t drop you that quick over something you’re handling like an adult. *Hugs* and warm wishes, oh and congratulations on your little surprise 🙂