Post # 1
I had my bridal shower 2 weeks ago and had an incredibly awkward moment with one of FI’s cousins. She’s quite a bit older than him and has a family, and has on more than one occasion made everyone feel awkward when asking why I didn’t have a ring o my finger.
We haven’t heard back from a lot of our guests but that’s another post. This cousin was one of those people. We were talking and I was telling her about the fact that she shouldn’t wear heels because it was an outside ceremony and some other stuff and she replies, “Oh, we’re not coming.” i wish I could relay the tone through text. It was a how dare you think we’d come to your wedding mixed with shock and awe that I didn’t know.
THIS IS WHAT RSVP CARDS ARE FOR!!!!! Had she sent the card back I could have avoided this lovely conversation entirely.
I’m not upset she isn’t coming, we’re doing a destination wedding of sorts so I get that they can’t afford to come but you should still send back the damn card!
Post # 3
@wisher558: That’s so annoying. Just take it as someone you wont have to worry about pleasing the day of! Sorry you had to go through that!
Btw… We sent our invitations about 2 weeks ago now and only have gotten a lot of texts from people asking if they have to rsvp… like yes, I paid for the rsvp card and pre-stamped it. Especially if I wasn’t sure if you were going to be able to make it! lol
Post # 4
@lolita39: one of his aunts, who works for hte post office, asked us the same thing. Plus we assumed this cousin was going and isn’t so I’m not assuming about anyone anymore.
Post # 5
@wisher558: Exactly! I’m trying not to assume about anyone since about 1/2 of the wedding guests are traveling from various places! Geeze, it’s like pulling teeth!
also LOL @ her working at the post office? Really? …. like really? She couldn’t just drop it in the bin?
Post # 6
We had several folks do something of this sort. A reply card is to be sent back. That’s a concept I wish people understood. We had people going, “You know we’re coming, why do we have to send back the reply card?” or “It should be obvious we’re not coming.” No. Return the reply card. I’ve known a lot of folks to give a verbal ‘we’re coming/not coming’ but they intentionally don’t return the reply card to give themselves something of an out.
Or my favorite: The people who would let it get back to me, by word of mouth, that they weren’t coming. WTF is with people?
I hear ya, OP. That was an awful thing for her to do (putting you into an awkward spot like that). What a fool.
Post # 7
Huh, just had an idea…
You know those e-invites, where you open it up and leave your response i.e. ‘Yes, I’ll come’ – ‘No, I can’t’ – ‘Maybe’ ?
What if invitees went to the website (listed on the invite) and gave their responses there?
And then you called the ‘maybes’??
In this electronic age, I wonder if that would work well, since a lot of times you end up calling those who haven’t responded anyway?
Just a thought…
Post # 8
@Brides_Mama: My brother is having a destination wedding, and he did this. He has a wedding website where you can go and fill out your RSVP. It also asks questions about where you are staying and when you are arriving, so I guess it was necessary, as all of that wouldn’t fit on an RSVP card. It was really simple though.
Post # 9
@Brides_Mama: Well, this Bride has clearly already sent out her invites, so I’m not really sure your suggestion is applicable. It also came across as slightly condescending, which I’m certain was not your intent.
Post # 10
OP, that woman sounds insane. I’m happy for you that you don’t have to deal with her coming to your wedding, but sorry she’s causing you extra stress.
RSVPs will be the death of me. Our wedding is in about 2 months, but as it’s a destination wedding for my family, we sent out our invitations over a month ago, and sent out STDs about 2 months prior to that. Except for the invitations which we hand delivered to some of Mr.’s family (and waited for the card to be handed back), we’ve had 4 RSVPs., which is really annoying, because the invitations have RSVP cards & envelopes, both of our emais, both of our phone numbers and the URL for our wedding website, and clearly state that guests are welcome to use any of these methods to respond. I don’t know how to make it any more simple for people. Sometimes I really feel like etiquette classes should be compulsory in school.
Post # 11
@wisher558: Are you sure she didn’t send the RSVP? it could have gotten lost in the post hence her reaction to you.