Well, that sucks again, might be cancelling e-pics :(

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
8388 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MrsFarm0619:  Sorry your FI lost his uncle, my condolences to his family.

Post # 5
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsFarm0619:  I think you guys need to suck it up and make both work.  Even if he wasn’t close to his uncle, part of going is being there to support the rest of his family.  Family comes first, even if that means you have to cancel your pictures or postpone them.  Pictures don’t love and support you, but family always has your back.

Post # 7
1018 posts
Bumble bee

@MrsFarm0619:  It is a sucky situation…will your photographer be willing to move the appointment back a couple hours so you have some breathing room to get home?

I agree with PPs, and you seem to already understand, that building a supportive relationship with your in laws is way more important than pictures.

He may not have known his uncle well, or even wanted to go, but if you two (or three) don’t go his family will probably blame you. Not that it’s fair or reasonably…justl likely :-/

Post # 8
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If you go, you’ll be subjecting his daughter (and yourselves) to a 10-hour car drive for a one hour service. I hardly think that seems fair and logical considering your fiance hasn’t seen his uncle since his 20’s.

I would send a card with your condolences, arrange to have flowers delivered to the funeral from your FI and his daughter, explain to his mother that a 10 hour car drive is an unreasonable thing to ask of a child with such short notice, and keep moving forward with your life.

Don’t cancel your engagement photos for a funeral that you weren’t going to attending the first place.

And don’t let someone guilt trip you guys into going because she felt guilty about not wanting to attend herself. Sounds like having the granddaughter there would make HER feel better about going, which is a bit selfish and terribly inconvenient to you guys.

Post # 9
2501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MrsFarm0619:  Can you arrange other plans for your FI’s daughter so she won’t be subjected to the 10 hour drive and funeral?

I would say one option would be to make other plans for his daughter, go, and do your pics the next day.

It sounds though that you don’t want to go at all ( I wouldn’t either). I would follow your FI’s lead on this, and if he decides not to go, HE needs to break the news to his parents.

I wouldn’t cancel the pictures either way. 

Post # 12
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

@MrsFarm0619:  So sorry you’re in this sucky situation. But good for you for doing the right thing. 

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