Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club
Let me just throw this out there: I live with my FI.
An older lady I work with (she has grandchildren) was asking me general questions about the wedding. Was I going to have my wedding in Alabama or in Tennessee? What colors am I using? Have I picked my bridesmaids out? etc etc etc.
She finally asked me, “Are you wearing a white dress?” and when I answered, “Yeah, I think so. Either white or champane, I haven’t chosen,” she goes, “WHY?” in a big, ‘why would you even think of wearing white on your wedding day’ kind of way.
Was I right in feeling a little ruffled by her question? I feel like even if you’ve been married 10 times and you are getting married again, you should be able to wear whatever color you want to wear on your wedding day. Would you have been just a tiny bit offended?
Post # 3
I would be extremely offended, but I am overly sensitive and get upset really easily. I would not have shown it at the time though.
Post # 4
Eh, I wouldn’t read into it too much or sweat it. People are stupid, that’s all
Post # 5
Wow. Lol. WHYYY does she care??
If she ever asks you again what you decided, with a straight face tell her your going to get a rainbow colored dress, since you couldn’t pick one color.
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
It’s a generational thing– when she got married, if you weren’t a virgin it’s was “scandelous” to wear white– don’t let it get to you.
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club
@kariface: I didn’t read into too much until I told FI about it. He’s a pretty chill guy 99% of the time and he was like, “Wow, what a ***ch.” haha.
@Diamond84: lmao that’d be hilarious. She’d love that! haha!
Post # 8
- Wedding: April 2012 - St. Philip Catholic Church/Arcadia Brewing Co.
There was a time when there was a big distinction between brides in white and brides in ivory. Now…. it depends on what you like/look best in and you should wear what makes you feel like a bride… I mean for goodness sakes… veils were origonally used when grooms did not see the bride (ever) before the wedding to cover her up so he wouldn’t turn tail and run if she were less than pretty! So non of that holds meaning anymore.
I think what she said was quite rude, but some people have no brain to mouth filter and really that is more her problem than yours. I’m sure you will look good in any color! (next time she asks tell her you are wearing black…that will give her something to twit about!)
Post # 9
I would have said “EXcuuuuse me” (in “the” tone…) and waited for her embarassed, caught off gaurd response.
Post # 10
Geez, that was rude lol. What’s it to her…
Post # 11
honestly? just own your choice. yes it’s a generational thing, but even if it wasn’t, she might not know it’s a thing because she’s never seen or heard of it before. think of it as an educational moment. “because i like it/it’s more flattering on me/light-coloured dresses are in now”. if you back it up (no matter how arbitrary the reason), she’ll accept it, and maybe even grow to like it in general (vs just for you). if someone had asked “why are you serving pasta”, “why is your colour red” or “why are you wearing heels” would you have gotten as offended? no, you would’ve said “because i love it”.
if she continues to push for more reasons or get you to change your mind, yeah be offended, but right now she’s just curious/thrown off, and trying to understand you and your choices better. not that you owe her an explanation, but if you’re going to share, don’t you want her to get you?
Post # 13
tell her you’re wearing a burka- seeing as that is how she sees women
Post # 14
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
You just say “well, bless your heart I guess you didn’t know that the bride always has the right to wear white, even while livin’ in sin!” I’m sure a lot of ladies who wore white to their wedding in the 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s weren’t as pure as their parents and pastors hoped they would be on their wedding day.
Post # 16
Coming from someone who has lived in the same city you currently live in….that’s just kind of the norm for older women There. Trust me, I have been given the “you live in sin” eyebrow raise from many older women in the south, so I can only imagine their reaction if I “dared to wear white” on my wedding day and they found out 😉