- 6 years ago
Posting under an alter for obvious reasons… The sex life between my fiance and I have come to a complete hault. And I feel horrible about it. He is so sweet and perfect, and I’m attracted to him, I just always feel too tired and busy to do anything with him.
I’m 22, he’s 24 so I don’t think my sex drive should be decreasing just yet. We’ve been together almost two years, I feel like things should still be hot and heavy! haha I thought BC could be to blame, but I feel like I’ve experienced this in a previous relationship too, and I’ve been on all kinds of BC. I’ve been on Depo on and off since I was 16 (never for more than a year and a half at a time). I’ve tried nuva ring, and now I’m on the pill. Its LoLoestrin, so the lowest hormone dose possible. I would say sex was great for the first six months we dated. We had sex almost every night, and it was GREAT. Now it just feels like a routine, which it shouldn’t since its not happening enough to be routine. He moved 3 hours away last august and it went downhill from there (it was already starting to slack before), but when he’d come to visit every weekend or every other weekend, I just wasn’t very interested.
We moved in together in January and I was sure things would get better. But its only gotten worse. Its been over a month since we’ve had sex and its going to be a longggg 60+ years of marriage if we’re never having sex! I’m working 50+ hours a week with an hour long commute each way, and I always feel worn out. I feel like I’m just making excuses, but I just don’t get that urge anymore! and it sucks! Sorry this post is so long and all over the place, I’m just looking for any advice to change my perspective/feelings I guess. i feel horrible every night when I tell him I’m going to bed and he realizes we won’t be having sex tonight either, but I guess I don’t feel horrible enough to actually have sex instead.
Oh and another point – I am psyching myself out completely! We did try having sex last week, and I started crying half way through. Instead of enjoying it, I’m just thinking, ‘I should be enjoying this more’ or ‘you’re not doing it right’. I used to be so confident in our sex life, and now I feel horrible.
Thank you if you got to the bottom and read all this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. FI has suggested a therapist of some sort, but I’m way too embarrassed to talk to someone about it, not to mention we don’t have disposable money like that. That’s why I came to you guys. Any thoughts to change my thinking would be great. I really appreciate it!