Well, this'll come back and bite me in the arse…

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MrsFutureG: I think you handled it really well, you were firm but not disrespectful. Hopefully she can respect that and let you move on with your plans without any more negative comments.

However, if she does keep insisting that a certain aspect should be done in a certain way, let’s say the flowers for simplicity, tell her that she’s more than welcome to cover that post as it’s not in your budget. Either she backs down or you save some money. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Why would you ask for her help in planning it when she doesn’t like your ideas, and complains about everything you’ve already chosen? I don’t understand that part.

Post # 5
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2022

@MrsFutureG:  “Alas, our telepathy powers have not been adequately honed.”
Hahaha, I love this – I’ve totally been there! Maybe there’s a class we should be taking? It would definitely come in handy!

As far as your wedding, don’t stress! You can’t please everyone – and as far as I’m concerned, you don’t have to! It’s your wedding. It’s nice enough that you are trying to let her contribute ideas/opinions even though they aren’t contributing to the wedding. I think your wedding sounds lovely! I’m sure it’ll be everything you dreamed of and at the end of the day, you’ll be married to the man of your dreams. What more could you want?? 🙂

Post # 7
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

*hugs!*

You did good

Post # 9
Member
1164 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

What else could you have said? I agree with what @eocenia:  said…anything she wants to complain about, offer to let her cover costs. But then again, you may have less leverage to disagree if she does something completely against how you would like it.

Post # 10
Member
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MrsFutureG: I’m sorry she’s so negative about everything, that’s not easy. I really hope she will be able to keep it together for your wedding day so that it doesn’t show through if she disapproves. Any way your FI could talk to her about this, just say something along the lines of “Mum… we’re trying really hard here and we would love if we felt like we had your support”?

Post # 12
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee

You handled that better than I would have.  And it sounds like you’re doing a good job of keeping her at bay in general.  As a personal anecdote, my mom was a bit resistant when I told her I wanted paper flowers in my wedding because “the bride should have real flowers” or something like that.  But I eventually made it clear that this was my vision and I let her suggest ideas to go along with that, just like you’re doing with your FMIL.

Post # 14
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Good for you!
Sounds like you handled it perfectly!

Post # 15
Member
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MrsFutureG: That’s frustrating! Even if you’ll be too busy to really notice, what about the poor people seated around her? How depressing to spend an entire wedding next to someone that has nothing nice to say about it!

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