Post # 1
Hi Bees! This is my first post and I need advice. My SO & I went ring shopping a week ago (Upon his suggestion), we ended up going back today because I was having indecision about a CU or R Verragio Halo. I finally settled on the CU, and the jeweler asked my SO if he was ready to look at diamonds for the setting, and he bluntly/sarcastically said, ” No, this was her idea to come here,” referring to me. So the jeweler just took down, AGAIN, his information and my ring information before we left.
So my question is: Why didn’t he put down a payment on the ring? He has the money.
The first time we went, he made me sit outside while he talked to the jeweler for about 25 mins.
What is he waiting for?
Has any other bees experiened this? How long did it take for him to actually purchase and propose to you?
Thanks in advance!
Post # 3
Seems like he’s not ready to buy it. We went browsing months before we planned to get engaged, found a ring, and walked out with it 30 minutes later. He proposed 2 months after purchasing. I’d just give him time to do it when he’s ready so you know that he wants to.
Post # 4
@ny88: Maybe he wants to choose the diamond without you being there, so its still a surpise when it happens…. men can be sneaky
Post # 5
my SO and I went rign shopping in october and november, I’m still waiting and Im sure i will be until august. ::shrug:: He will purchase when he is ready. and he will propose when he is ready. worrying about it only drives the both of you crazy! nothing wrong with asking for a timeline though!
Post # 6
My SO and I went ring shopping in september. He’s had the money for a while. I think some guys just need to work up the nerve to buy it. He may not be ready.
Post # 7
@leftyletters: You’re so right! Unfortunately, my SO is super shy. I never thought I’d become the girl to obsess over something like this. Thanks for the post!
Post # 8
@leftyletters: I’m just confused, I suppose. Why bring up going ring shopping if you’re not ready. Patience isn’t something I’ve mastered. lol
Post # 9
Sounds like he is nervous. He probably didn’t want to put the deposit down in front of you. As in he probably doesn’t want you to know when he has the ring.
My SO and I went ring shopping in July (his idea). I’m 90% positive he has the ring and is just waiting until he is ready. As you can see from pervious posters, just because you go ring shopping doesn’t mean he is ready to purchase/propose.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t worry about it too much just yet. My SO and I went ring shopping a couple months before he actually proposed. He just wanted the proposal to be less “expected” when it happened.
Post # 11
@ceemarie7: You are officially my hero! How can you be so patient? It hasn’t even been a week and I’m becoming obsessed. lol
Post # 12
Aww I wouldn’t worry too much. Like a PP said, my SO and I looked at rings last May (as in 2013). We went (more seriously) a couple of weeks ago and ended up buying a ring. I’m still waiting for the proposal however and will likely get it sometime this summer. My SO did it when he felt ready and yours will to.
He may not have wanted to get it with you there. He may have felt pressured at the time and wanted to take a step back. He may simply not be ready and thinks if he gets the ring, you will expect a proposal ASAP and he may need some more time.
It will happen when he feels comfortable, give him time
Post # 13
Could be a couple things. I have had a similar situation with my SO (and I’m still waiting)
1. He could want to surprise you and not have you there.
2. For other reasons he’s really not ready to purchase (doesn’t see the two of you getting married soon, wants to accomplish other goals before putting a ring on it)
Or it could be what happened to my SO
3. Plain, old sticker shock.
Post # 14
@ny88: That would have made me angry (what he said, not that he didn’t buy), to be honest. You said this was his idea in the first place. Was it also his idea to return or did you push the issue a bit?
I’ll be honest. I wanted to get engaged to SO about 4 years ago, and I was guilty of pushing for a few months. We looked at rings, the woman at the counter started talking to SO, and he told her he wasn’t interested in looking that day. I was so embarassed. I didn’t say anything to him about it, and I knew I basically was asking for that to happen, but I felt like he threw me under the bus and made me look crazy…which I might have been a bit. So, I know what it feels like, but SO didn’t initiate that occasion.
This time around, SO 100% on his own took me ring shopping. We now have the ring, and it’s coming within the next week or two. BUT…the first ring shopping trip that he initiated (after 3 years of silence on the subject from me) was a year ago, so keep in mind that seriously shopping for a ring doesn’t always lead to an immediate purchase and proposal.
Post # 15
- Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN
He could want it to be more of a surprise. Men are sneaky. My husband found my ring and put it on layaway in January of 2012. Finished paying for it May of 2012. Had it all summer, and when he finally proposed in September he still had me convinced that it wasn’t going to happen for a couple more months! So you really never know. Haha
Post # 16
My SO and I went looking at rings for the first time in July, and its only now that I believe he’s taken steps to buy one. Granted he bought a house in October, so I believe that slowed the process up. Just be patient with him. It sounds like he wanted your input on rings but still wanted the ring process to be his thing without you there.