Post # 1
Our arguments never really last long but this has been going on since yesterday afternoon.
It started as a problem with my bro but has escalated into a huge blowup and then i realize its his work and if he makes one more mistake they are going to fire him all because the people that work for him are slacking and he takes the wrap for it. So h is on a probation period for the next year!
Of course with that weighing on his mind of course nothing I do is going to be right so this AM when he was leaving for work he stood at the door and said, “im outta here” and walked away.
And being a woman, you know i didnt let that slide and he gave me the whole “im unhappy with life right now and i dont know what i want” so being slightly insecure i think the worst.
Then he started to tell me that its al the little things that he is getting frustrated with. candle wax that dripped on the table, the fact that my bro doesnt knock when he come to the house etc….
I have been unemployed for about 2-3 months and so im already feeling like a big fat loser.
Im sure things will be fine but i hate fighting with him.
even if no one reads this i just needed to post and vent.
Post # 3
Im sorry! Sometimes men just get into their moments and speak out of anger. Im sure he didnt mean it, me and Fi fight alot too, well alot more before but it only made us stronger over the years. We learned from each other’s differences and learned to understand and accept each other more. This was our New Year’s resolution to each other, to give in and understand one another and it helps when you can meet in the middle and compromise. If he doesnt like the fact that your bro doesnt knock, then just tell your bro to knock just out of respect for the FI. Meet in the middle and you will get good results, good luck!
Post # 4
I’m sorry. I hate how stress in one area of your life affects all the others. But don’t worry, it will get better! Since you aren’t working try to be like SUPER house wife! Make sure everything is spotless and cook him dinner. Tell your brother to make sure he knocks when he comes over for a while at least. Maybe try to do something really fun, inexpensive and sweet for your man to help relieve some stress. Maybe even just a bath and massage! 🙂 Try not to worry to much though.
Post # 5
I’m sorry. I’m thinking this is centered around his job troubles. That makes every little thing stand out. If he has a hard time being an objective supervisor, he might want to learn how to get that figured out. Maybe some books on leadership will help, or perhaps a class or two. Maybe his employer would be willing to pay for him to go to classes. If he can’t get these employees to do their jobs, he’s going to have to fire them.
Good luck finding a job. Hang in there.
Post # 6
Sorry you guys are fighting, happens to the best of us! 🙁
When you both calm down, think about what he said (even though he was angry) and ask yourself if it has any merit. Unfortunatley, our little annoyances come out when we’re angry which isn’t the most productive moment. But take it as an opportunity to analyze the things that have been bothering him and figure out if you owe him an apology or if you need to fix it. For example, it is your responsibility to speak to your brother and ask him to knock. That would bother me a lot! And I have asked FI to speak to his family about respecting our space, specifically overstaying their welcome. And the candle wax may sound dumb, but if it bothers him it would be really nice of you to tell him you’ll make an effort not to do it anymore.
I’ll bet once you come forward and apologize, admit to being stressed and insecure from unemployment, he will apologize for getting angry too. And you can pick up from there and fix the things that have been bothering both of you.
Good luck, feel better!!
Post # 7
Thanks bees. Im sure some of what he says has merit, with being home all the time i probably over look some of the things that bother him.
I will work on being a super housewife and see where that leads me.
Post # 8
awww you guys will be ok….sounds like he’s going thru a lot
Post # 9
we are ok now. we spoke and along with his work stress he was afraid that i am not working.
He doesnt care that im not working but his ex never wanted to work and he is just scared that history may repeat itself. I want nothing more than to work or go back to school but he wants me to stay the crazy motivated person that i am.
I can see where he is coming from but he has more faith in me that our r-ship is nothing like his last one. Honestly, this is hard for me to say and i should stop beating around the bush, but he is afraid that i am going to get lazy on him
Not gonna happen
thanks for the support bees. Do you think he is out of line for (lack of better word) comparing out life to his past?? or do you understand where he is coming from to a point?