Post # 1
We arent engaged yet, but after meeting my SOs friends, I became close with a few of them, including some of the wives/girlfreinds of the male friends of his. One of the couples are in the middle of a divorce, dealing with a custody battle and alottttt of fighting. My SO had known both of them for 13+ years, and whether they had been married in the first place, he would still want them in his wedding, regardless of who we would marry.
Obviously do not have them walk down the isle together, but any tips or advice on how to ease the tension or keep the stress down-for them and for me?
I know I said we arent engaged, but I dont think these 2 people will ever be on the best terms. It will be in my mind when we come to the actual planning (whenever that is-LOL)
Post # 3
Honestly, the easiest thing here for all involved, would be to choose just one of them, or neither.
Having both of them in your Bridal Party will be a NIGHTMARE (especially for them… there is another post here on WBee where a Bridesmaid is going thru that exact scenario now)
As your SO was their friend before they were yours… I’d let him decide if he wants the guy as a Groomsman. IF that is a no go, then you can choose the lady as a Bridesmaid.
Hope this helps,
Post # 4
Like I said, im not engaged yet, and Im praying( for their sake and their son’s sake-Im not selfish lol) that they become more civil by then. I have no idea when Im getting engaged, but when I was talking to the girl about them fighting over something, this popped in my head.
And youre right, it could become hell. And in the short time Ive known them(compared to my SO) I have gone reasonably close to the girl, and havent seen the guy that much. So if we went that way she would be in it not him.
I dodnt want to chose one or the other, but I guess I gotta. *sigh*
Grr… wedding planning sucks.
Post # 5
I think you should just forget all about this until a lot closer to the wedding. Relationships especially with those who are not family can change a lot. You may not be friends with both or one of them by the time you are getting married. A great saying I heard today was “why buy yourself worries” which means why worry about something that isn’t going to presently affect you or may not even be a worry in the future.
Post # 6
Ditto to a PP. Forget about it until you are a year or less out from the wedding. Friends and relationships change a lot so it’s best not to worry about the situation until you are faced with it…
Sidenote: one of my bridesmaids and one of FI’s groomsmen used to date and lived together. It was 3+ years ago now and they are totally friendly and civil towards each other now. We were a bit concerned as he does still have some feelings towards her but they both assured us of zero drama/conflict and have both stuck to that rule. I hope that if it comes down to it, and you do want both of them involved, they can be mature and either remain civil for 1 day. Just don’t pair them up for the walk down the aisle. 🙂
Post # 7
@jlc3: I would never dream about them walking down together, that would look stupid, especially on my part. Especially since we have enough people to jumble around. And one of them is dating already, and I assume the other one would be too by then. I just dont want to penalize one of them because they are divorced. They have been such good friends with my SO for so long, and he was in their wedding. Im sure they can be mature and civil(for me at least hehe) . I just have that feeling in the back of my mind, ya know?