Post # 1
Got enough responses back to be able to tell the venue coordinator our numbers. We have 119 attending (including us). We’re going to be paying for this for such a long time. All of our wedding gifts will have to go towards our wedding. And we’re taking a quick local honeymoon but we might not get to take our “full” honeymoon.
Post # 3
Why did you invite so many people then? I hope everything works out.
Post # 4
Is there no way to scale back a bit? Just call the whole thing off and elope?
I’m of the school that no wedding is worth getting into debt for. It’s a one day party… why would you want to start your married life out by paying for it for days, month, or even years?
If you want to continue with it, I would suggest cutting whatever you can. DIY. Buy a used dress. Rent a tux. Etc. Etc. Etc.
There are lots of posts on here for budget brides, and some are really helpful.
Post # 5
Why did you put plans in motion that you can’t afford?
Post # 6
Please focus on the fact that 117 people love you enough to celebrate one of the most special days in your life.
THAT is what is important!
Post # 7
@canarydiamond: +1. Daily living goals are a lot more important than a wedding. A house will last a lot longer and be a lot more useful than a big wedding. Eloping is where it’s at 🙂
Post # 8
Poor in money but rich in love.
Post # 9
Having a wedding you can’t afford is your decision. Inviting people and hoping they won’t show up is financally irresponsible if you couldn’t afford them being there in the first place.
Scale back your wedding. There are always things to cut.
Post # 10
At this point I would probably just elope. Were you planning on more declines?
Post # 11
@LucyLaLa: If you are having a dinner, can you go with a less expensive option? I would talk to your coordinator and see if there are any ways to “cut corners”. I’m also a bride who doesn’t belive in going into debt for a wedding. Starting a marriage off in debt doesn’t sound like a great idea. I hope you can figure something out. *HUGS*
Post # 12
@LucyLaLa: This sucks.
Wow, that’s no good. If I were you, I’d scale back until I could have the party I could afford, or elope.
Post # 13
I would absolutely not have a wedding I’d be “paying off for a long time”. A huge debt is not the way to start a marriage, especially when money is one of the top topics couples argue over.
I agree with everyone else.. scale way back on everything you can.
Post # 14
@LucyLaLa: I know exactly how you feel right now. This was a major concern to me, too.
Despite my anxiety for being in debt post-wedding, I proceeded with a 105 guest list, husband in full support of the plans, and in the end, everyone had a great time. We did try to save and we did things like using feathers for boutonnieres and empty wine bottles with a single flower or the venue’s candles (no charge) as table centerpieces. The wedding was definitely geared towards guest entertainment and happiness rather than what I could actually afford at the time.
Thankfully, I received very generous monetary gifts from family and friends that covered the expenses of my wedding. I feel truly blessed. Also, I did not have wedding registries.
Good luck to you with wedding planning. Seems like you are pretty close to the day! If you can save money in places at this point, do it. Every little helps. I’d suggest to start with tweeking the menu, downsizing the flower and linen order where you can, considering alternatives for favors, or cutting out paper items (menus, programs, seating tags).
Post # 15
@jetsetlilypad: We are sooooo close! It’s not that we technically can not afford it. It’s more of a sticker shock situation. And that I would like to retire someday, as I’m sure we all would.
Our favors are not costing anything, the mother of a friend is going to make them out of the goodness of her heart. We’ll probably be generous with her daughter’s wedding present later this year, but she is not charging a cent.
I’m trying to avoid putting anything else on our registry. Contrary to what I thought, people actually do buy the big stuff!
I am a little weirded out by our florist. I have met her twice and the first time she seemed really willing to work with our budget, lots of things were thrown in. The second time I met with her, the math changed, and it turned out she had left sales tax out of the estimate, so the bill went up about 8%. I have to go back and talk to her because we have 12 tables now instead of the estimated 10, but I am concerned that it’s even going to cost more this time (like, even more than just the cost of adding 2 centerpieces). I just feel like she just keeps jacking up the bill! But maybe I can get through my fear and actually talk to her.
We have no linen costs since it’s included in the package cost. I talked to the coordinator months ago about modifying the food/drink package to save money and it didn’t seem like there were options to save a lot of money. We’re out of town right now and so I’ll have to wait til I get home to see my notes on it.
I am getting excited too & I know we will have a great time.
Post # 16
I totally get where you’re coming from. We received a quote for 100 guests and we’re at about 85, but it’s still like, “Oh god, that costs HOW much?” Ughh. And now our venue is trying to squeeze another $400 from us because of changes that THEY made, AFTER we signed a contract. Ummmmmmmmmm no.
Just keep focusing on the day of and then how awesome being married is going to be!