We're going to be poor forever

posted 3 years ago in August 2013
Post # 3
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Why did you invite so many people then? I hope everything works out.

Post # 4
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Is there no way to scale back a bit? Just call the whole thing off and elope?

I’m of the school that no wedding is worth getting into debt for. It’s a one day party… why would you want to start your married life out by paying for it for days, month, or even years?

If you want to continue with it, I would suggest cutting whatever you can. DIY. Buy a used dress. Rent a tux. Etc. Etc. Etc.

There are lots of posts on here for budget brides, and some are really helpful.

Post # 5
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

Why did you put plans in motion that you can’t afford?

Post # 6
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 1988

Please focus on the fact that 117 people love you enough to celebrate one of the most special days in your life.

THAT is what is important!

Post # 7
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@canarydiamond:  +1. Daily living goals are a lot more important than a wedding. A house will last a lot longer and be a lot more useful than a big wedding. Eloping is where it’s at 🙂

Post # 8
Member
5087 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

Poor in money but rich in love. 

Post # 9
Member
8708 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Having a wedding you can’t afford is your decision. Inviting people and hoping they won’t show up is financally irresponsible if you couldn’t afford them being there in the first place.

Scale back your wedding. There are always things to cut.

Post # 10
Member
6513 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@hermom:  +1

At this point I would probably just elope. Were you planning on more declines?

Post # 11
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@LucyLaLa:  If you are having a dinner, can you go with a less expensive option? I would talk to your coordinator and see if there are any ways to “cut corners”. I’m also a bride who doesn’t belive in going into debt for a wedding. Starting a marriage off in debt doesn’t sound like a great idea. I hope you can figure something out. *HUGS*

Post # 12
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@LucyLaLa:  This sucks.

Wow, that’s no good. If I were you, I’d scale back until I could have the party I could afford, or elope. 

Post # 13
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I would absolutely not have a wedding I’d be “paying off for a long time”.  A huge debt is not the way to start a marriage, especially when money is one of the top topics couples argue over.  

I agree with everyone else.. scale way back on everything you can.

Post # 14
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@LucyLaLa:  I know exactly how you feel right now. This was a major concern to me, too.

Despite my anxiety for being in debt post-wedding, I proceeded with a 105 guest list, husband in full support of the plans, and in the end, everyone had a great time. We did try to save and we did things like using feathers for boutonnieres and empty wine bottles with a single flower or the venue’s candles (no charge) as table centerpieces. The wedding was definitely geared towards guest entertainment and happiness rather than what I could actually afford at the time. 

Thankfully, I received very generous monetary gifts from family and friends that covered the expenses of my wedding. I feel truly blessed. Also, I did not have wedding registries.

Good luck to you with wedding planning. Seems like you are pretty close to the day! If you can save money in places at this point, do it. Every little helps. I’d suggest to start with tweeking the menu, downsizing the flower and linen order where you can, considering alternatives for favors, or cutting out paper items (menus, programs, seating tags).

Post # 16
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I totally get where you’re coming from. We received a quote for 100 guests and we’re at about 85, but it’s still like, “Oh god, that costs HOW much?” Ughh. And now our venue is trying to squeeze another $400 from us because of changes that THEY made, AFTER we signed a contract. Ummmmmmmmmm no.

Just keep focusing on the day of and then how awesome being married is going to be! 

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