(Closed) We're not splitting up so why should I give back my ring?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Honestly… I would refuse to give it back. Who the hell takes back a ring just because his b****y sister thinks she should have it? She’s probably lying about it having been “promised” to her, and just wants it because she’s selfish. Seriously, that’s ridiculous.

Keep the ring, it’s yours now. He needs to find another way to deal with her. If he was anticipating this, he shouldn’t have given it to you in the first place. It’s really insulting (imo) that he would ask for it back at all. 

Post # 4
Member
1262 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@CanterburyBee22:  It’s your engagement ring. I’d be furious at him for having just told her, and then just saying you need to give it back. It’s your engagement ring. If it were me, I wouldn’t give it back, partially because I don’t make concessions to crazy bitches (as a favour to them as much as anything else – I don’t believe in teaching people that being a bitch is OK and will get you places in life), and partially because it was given as my engagement ring. I can’t believe he isn’t even trying to stand up to her for this.

 

Does your husband care more about his bat shit crazy sister’s feelings than yours? That’s the only reason I can think of for siding with her.

 

Post # 5
Member
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Unless there’s paperwork somewhere that says that it was left to her, then you don’t have to just hand it over, and your husband shouldn’t be telling you that you have to give it to her. Personally, I wouldn’t have even said that you had the ring, because now she knows and is going to try to get it. 

 

I would talk to your husband, explain how much the ring means to you and tell him that he gave it to you as an engagement ring and you’re honestly upset he’d suggest just handing it over to this sister. 

ETA: Don’t give that crazy bitch your ring. 

Post # 6
Member
259 posts
Helper bee

Oh my god that’s rude!!!

DO NOT give it back. It’s yours.

Post # 7
Hostess
8580 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Is there a will or any documentation? If there isn’t, I would keep it.

It sounds like your fi and his sister don’t have a good relationship, as it is. I know he’s trying to make mends with her, but i’m sure there’s a reason WHY they aren’t close as it is.

If she’d just sell it, perhaps you could offer to compensate with some money to keep it.

Post # 8
Member
2336 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Um hell no, no way.

It belongs to you. You’ve been wearing it for three years. She can get over it. If it were me, she could have it over my dead body.

Also he is your HUSBAND. As your husband, YOU should be more important to him than his sister. YOU come first. Not her. He needs to be in your corner and HE needs to tell his sister, ‘tough luck, it belongs to my wife.’

Post # 9
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Refuse refuse refuse. And then refuse some more. There’s absolutely no effin way anyone else would be getting my ring just because she feels entitled to it. Unless there’s paperwork giving her ownership of the ring, she should only be able to get it by prying it out of your cold dead hands, and your husbands needs to be the one to stand up to her and say so. 

Post # 10
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

Don’t give it back! D: poor thing. People can be funny about their siblings sometimes, my mother for example does stuff for her sister that I just shake my head at, that’s the only reason I can think for your husband siding with her.

 

Fight nail and tooth for your ring girl! 

Post # 11
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

No way, it’s yours! You need to talk to your husband about standing up to her. If he really can’t stand up to her he can pay her for it, but def don’t give it back

Post # 12
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’d lose my shit.  

I’d actually be even more angry with my DH for not standing up for me and saying “Sorry, that ring belongs to DW. We are not giving it to you.”

Post # 13
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

No. Way. Do not hand over that ring, it’s yours! It was THEIR grandmother’s ring, aka your husband has just as much a claim over it as his sister. He obviously got it first, too bad for her. Giving in to this outrageous demand is not the way to mend fences, but it is a way to show his sister she can get whatever she wants by throwing a tantrum. Not a good precedent to set.

Post # 14
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

did grandma have a will that states the ring goes to her?  for that matter, did it state that it goes to your husband?

 

 

 

if not, and to play fair with the sister, i would get a “replacement” appraisal for it (if you don’t have one already) and offer to pay the sister half of the amount.  that would be splitting the value of the ring between the two of them.  keep the paperwork and copy of the cheque so that the crazy sister doesn’t try the same thing in another 30 years.

 

edit:  i would be a bit insulted if my dh asked me for my ring back btw.

 

 

 

Post # 15
Member
522 posts
Busy bee

I agree with everyone else. No way!!!!

Does your husband know how much yuo love that ring? If so he should realize that it matters to you. It’s your engagement ring!

@Scc6a:  +1,000

This woman needs to be shown that she doesn’t get everything just because she wants it.

Post # 16
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If there’s not a will or any type of documentation that it is her property, there is no way that would be happening. Seriously, F that.

And I would be exceedingly clear to my husband how incredibly disappointed I would be in his clear support of his sister over me and that if he continued to back her in this, I would lose faith in him as my partner and we’d be rethinking our relationship. If you can’t depend on him to be in your corner, who can you depend on?

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