- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2015
This is kind of a follow up post to http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/im-sad-1#axzz2TV9zY0va and that also gives some back story.
Apparently, my SO has been unhappy for the last few months but he couldn’t pin point what exactly he was unhappy about. Basically, after the fight (described in the last post) last week my SO started thinking about the possibility that it was our relationship that was making him unhappy. He said he almost called me and said he was over it, but didn’t want to make a rash decision because there was a reason why he told me he loves me and he didn’t want to throw it all away.
I hadn’t seen him since Sunday morning, and he kept saying he was going to come over and then canceling at the last minute. Last night was the last straw for me because he said “Wednesday, for sure!” and he didn’t text me until 11 pm asking how I was. Like, seriously?? How do you think I am, waiting to hear from you all day and then getting blown off YET AGAIN?! (I said it nicer via text btw lol) So we said we’d talk today.
He texted me when he got home from school and asked if I wanted to come over. So once I got to his house I kind of dove right in. I could tell he was uncomfortable (because he doesn’t like talking about his feelings) but I pushed him to say what was going on. We talked for like an hour, I brought up the “break” option because I could tell he didn’t know what to do. He said some stuff about me being a homebody and introverted (which is true, but hasn’t changed since we’ve been dating AND we talked about it in the beginning) and that he doesn’t want to be the only one suggesting things for us to do. I said that’s fine, but I’m not going to kill myself thinking of stuff to keep him entertained when I’m fine reading or just hanging out – by myself, with him, with friends, etc. Note: I also want to say that I’ve never ever shot down an idea or plan that he wants to do, he’s really outdoorsy and loves to be active and I’ve always been enthusiastic about doing things that he suggests.
All of the things that he brought up that he was having issues with are things that we discussed in the beginning (before we were even official) and he said he was fine with. I said he can’t be happy with me, if he’s not happy with himself and that the ONLY things that have changed since we’ve started dating are: he quit his job to focus on school – therefore, no income – and that he’s a hell of a lot less active. He used to rock climb (but the gym membership was too expensive once he quit working), swim, go on hikes, etc. He said that’s a valid point and he actually thought of that last night.
But he still doesn’t know what he’s truly unhappy about. And I told him I can give him a month to think about everything where there’s no contact between us (unless he initiates it since he’s the one who needs time) so he can clear his head. We clarified that we are on a break, NOT broken up, that neither of us will be dating or hooking up with anyone else, and that we’ll get together on June 16th to discuss where our relationship is headed.
I love him so much and I just want him to be happy, but this is killing me. I feel nauseous, I haven’t stopped crying since I left his house. Needless to say, I’ll be pretty scarce on this website until we figure this thing out.
Has anyone had something similar happen in their relationship and it turned out well in the end? I’m just hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel, and praying it’s not a train.