- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
My very first weddingbee post! Hi everyone!
I’m recently engaged and both my fiancé and I are lacto-ovo vegetarian (we eat dairy but no meat). I would be surprised if anyone we intend to invite to our wedding was unaware of this. We have plenty of vegetarian friends and family members – and we also have many who are not.
I’m a bit confounded as to what to do about the food at our wedding.
- This will be a fully catered wedding, not DIY or BYO. Life has been a bit too stressful over the last couple of years and I’m not up for DIY. We need to function within the possibilities of what our venue will do for us.
- We are both vegetarian for ethical reasons, however we don’t tend to be outspoken about it, we aren’t pushy or preachy, we just choose to eat what we’re comfortable with contributing to the demand and industry of, and meat doesn’t fall into that range.
- Entree (appetiser) will be vegetarian, I think we can all cope with that.
- We are in Australia.
Your standard wedding will offer non-vegetarian mains, with vegetarians mains available on request. However, as we are vegetarian ourselves, I don’t really feel comfortable spending a large amount of money like this on meat, something to which I am ethically opposed, and making it the default choice of everyone at our wedding when the event is supposed to be representative of us.
We could just pick a vegetarian main for everyone – it is our wedding after all, and most people are decent enough to appreciate that not eating meat for a night won’t kill them, and it means our money won’t be going towards an industry we don’t support any more than we have to. But there is such a stigma associated with vegetarianism, that we’re trying to convert everyone all the time, that we’re silently judging meat-eaters for their choices, etc. I don’t want the memory taken away from my wedding to be that ‘ugh, all the food was vegetarian’ (you’re welcome, right?).
My ideal situation is that we pay to have a choice of two mains for each guest. One vegetarian, one a free-range white meat dish. That way, we are representing our own choices in the meal, giving our vegetarian guests an opportunity to not have to submit a dietary request like they do everywhere else, not feel like total sellouts to the meat industry, and yet still allowing those who want to eat meat their choice too (though one that we feel is as ethical as we can make it).
Problem: One of our two favourite venues can’t do a choice main. They can do one main, or alternating mains, but not a choice – as strange as that sounds to me, them’s the rules.
What then about an alternating main? Would non-vegetarians be put out by receiving a vegetarian main if their neighbour didn’t?
As you can see, there are arguments galore swirling around my head. Please tell me – as a vegetarian or not – what do you think is the decision here that is the fairest, on us, on our guests, etc? How would you feel if the entire meal was vegetarian, or if you were lumped with a vegetarian main in an alternate setting, or if you knew the bride and groom felt obliged to pay for something they didn’t agree with because they feared upsetting their guests?
Really interested to know what you all think. Thanks for your time!