(Closed) Were you a crazy ex girlfriend?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sorry, since I know you guys and the situation and am sitting less than 5 feet from you at work (lol) I say GET HER! But, I’m sure more rational ppl will tell you better than I ! 🙂

Post # 5
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Uh wow what a crazy woman o_o 

I once had an ex who went batshit crazy for about a month after we broke up and basically ruined his friendship between him and I and all our mutual friends. Every now and again he sends me an email or FB message that I ignore lol. 

Post # 6
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

@dunlapsangel: I wish I worked with a fellow bee!!! Anywho!

 I’ve never been the crazy ex….Okay wait…so I mayyyy have spread a teensy, tiny rumor about an ex that he was gay. Just maybe… BUT that was yearrssss ago and I’m sure that everyone has forgotten about it by now. Although I did feel a little justified when I spread it with how many replies I got from others saying “I knew it!” or my personal fav “Sick! I change with him in the locker room! Time to start hiding my junk!” So to that ex, Yes I am the “crazy” ex.

 But other then that no. My husband has some crazy ex’s though! Don’t have enough room to even start on telling the stuff they have done!

Post # 7
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

OMG yes – In my mid 20s I was very crazy and immature!  I would have my friends call my bf (when I was with them) to find out where he was, always stalk him..lots of other things..I was immature but so was he and as crazy as I was I feel like he made me crazy as he was also immature.

There was one night, it was a thursday night and I went out with my friends – since he lives in the city and I didn’t at the time I would often go to his apartment to sleep – so I rang the buzzer for a while and was FINALLY let in my his roommate – I get in bed with my bf and find a BRA – yes a BRA, and not my bra – I FREAK out and run out of the apartment – I am outside and its 4am and I realize its 4am in NYC and I need to go back in – so I buzz and go up to the apartment again – I dont’ know what it was but something made me open the closet door right when you walk in and there was a GIRL – that my bf worked with at the time – I knew her..she was also married – I start freaking out – they claimed she just needed a place to crash – and nothing happened – I kicked her out (I think I even spit on her shirt – i know awful behavior I would never think to do again) and told her to go home to her husband and get out of my bf’s bed.

Ughh..lots of other stories – it was a long, painful breakup too (and not even right after that event)….so glad we did break up though!

Post # 8
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Miss Tattoo:  If you want to get rid of her you just have to ignore her.  I read a book once that said something like every time you respond to a crazy person you buy yourself six more weeks of unwanted attention from them.  I don’t know if that’s true but…it seemed sort of reasonable to me.  As long as she’s getting his (and probably your) attention, she’ll continue. 

Post # 9
Member
76 posts
Worker bee

I agree with dunlapsangel GET HER! I don’t have any crazy ex’s thank goodness. I cannot believe the police won’t do anything about it. Is it possible to maybe get a restraining order or a “no contact” order against her? 

Post # 10
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

She sounds straight up nuts!! I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this woman who clearly just can’t stand to see your FI happy without her!

If I may offer some advice, I’ve done a lot of research on stalking and harrassment, and the most effective, fastest way to put a stop to it is to completely ignore her. Her goal is to get a rise out of you and your FI. Don’t give her that satisfaction! Any reaction you give her will only spur her on. If she calls/texts/emails your FI 20 times and gets a response on the 21st try, that tells her she needs to call or email another 20 times to get his attention again.

Keep logging all of her phone calls, texts and emails, but do not engage her. Every so often, make another report to the police. It’s vital to keep the paper trail going in case you ever need to bring an action against her. But contrary to popular belief, restraining orders can actually cause more harm than good.

I’m sure you and your FI can handle yourselves, but I am honestly a little worried for you. When people are crazy, it’s hard to predict just how crazy they’re going to get.

PS – I highly recommend that all women read The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. He’s an experienced security specialist for governments, large corporations, and celebrities. He developed the threat assessment system used to screen threats to Supreme Court judges, members of Congress, and senior CIA officials. His book explains the psychology of dangerous people and how to keep yourself safe from them, and debunks all the myths and misunderstandings people have about these dangerous situations.

Post # 11
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m sorry I didn’t read through all of it.  I would set up a folder for her and have all of her emails go directly to that folder.  I would say send them to the trash can but what if you need them for the police, if they do decide to do something?

I was semi crazy but we were not BF/GF.  This guy was older than I and I had the hugest crush on him for YEARS.  He told me to call him except he never picked up, with the exception of once or twice.  He was supposed to take me out for my birthday, never even called.  I gave up and then I asked him if I was a joke months later when I ran into him and he gave me his cell and home number.  Anyways.  What should have been big clues that he’s not into me went completely over my head.  I regret calling so many times but it was like a dream come true to me and why would he be purposfully screwing with me???  Der.  Needless to say he screwed with me quiet a bit, which is actually an understatement. 

Post # 12
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Save every message she sends you. If she ever actually makes a threat, put out a restraining order on her. If she ever calls you again you can have her arrested. What a psycho!

Post # 13
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

@lisa105: I agree.

If you keep fueling her flames she’ll keep flaming you again and again and again. Just never respond to her. If she calls, hang up. Definitely do not contact her. That’s the only way to get rid of her if the police will not do anything.

Post # 14
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ve definitely been hung up on a guy for years complete with the drunk texts, calls, etc.  but i’ve never been the crazy stalker type ex gf.

Post # 15
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

Wow.  She’s insane.  I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.

I’ve gone crazy after breakups, sure, but NEVER for anywhere near that long, and after the initial month or two (at the very very very very very longest), I started keeping the crazy to myself/my friends…  Wouldn’t harass him because I KNOW that just makes me look bad.

Post # 16
Member
1537 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I haven’t been too crazy myself, but I sure know of a few! The only thing I am guilty of is being sneaky with my ex who cheated on me, but hey I had to know…

My FI has one that should be in the nut house also with the crazy girl you’re dealing with. When FI and I got together she would phone me and say that she was still his girlfriend…umm no? She also would call my friends and tell them that she was still sleeping with him when clearly he was not (we had one vehicle at the time so I was driving him to and from work – cheating on me at work? I don’t think so..)

Also, she followed us out to dinner one night and keyed FI’s car while we were eating and then came up to the resturant window and started banging on it and fingering us. When we came outside to tell her to take a hike she started screaming, “But you said you were going to leave her and come back to me, your MINE!!!” She just looked like a complete psycho in the parking lot. On top of that she came to a party we were at and threw a drink on me and told the entire party FI had slept with her earlier that day (which again was not likely).

And if that all wasn’t bad enough she constantly called, texted and emailed both FI and I for about 4 months straight. She woudl go as far as to send FI pictures of his son (not her son) and say how much she missed him. She’d also send him old photos of them kissing and her naked and wouldn’t write a message, just send the photo.

SOME WOMEN ARE INSANE!! I feel for you!

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