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The replies on a recent post got me wondering. It seems that more than a few of us were actually seeing someone else when we met our SO/FI/spouse.
I know I was in a semi-serious relationship that had been going on for about six months. I think that bf and I both knew by that point that it wouldn't be permanent, but we still cared about each other and enjoyed spending time together, so we kept seeing each other (that sounds bad, doesn't it?).
Once I met my husband, the shortcomings in the previous relationship were suddenly much more glaring. I ended things with the former bf and a few weeks later started dating my husband. It was a little messy, but I have no regrets.
I was dating someone else when I first met my FI. He was single.
He had a girlfriend and I was just enjoying the single life...aka seeing a few people ;)
@Ms.Teddy: Same for me! He was actually in the final stages of breaking up with his girlfriend of 2 years when he met me. We went out for my birthday and a few months later we were officially an item!
I was VERY casually dating someone. It wasn't really serious and we also knew that it wasn't going to last. I knew I wanted to be with FI and as soon as we started hanging out more I broke things off with my other BF. FI and I started dating 2 weeks later.
FI was completely single. He only had one 2 week GF a few years before he met me. Luckily for me he was very focused on playing college baseball.
I had a "casual" relationship with a guy when I first met my FI, and FI at the time was sorta/kinda talking to his ex. Then FI swept me off my feet and I think we both realized we deserved a real relationship!
I had been casually dating a guy who had been one of my best friends when I met my husband. Since it was casual dating with no real plans for the future and it didn't seem my friend was all that interested, I started dating Mr. Symphony. I knew from the start he had everything I was looking for. That's when it got messy, apparently friend WAS interested, but it all worked out, because it turns out he was more interested in my sister anyways. :)
No regrets here!
I was casually dating this nightmare of a guy...like 3 or 4 dates in?
I had been single for about 3 months before we met, but my Love was in a relationship, but it was at the end of a bitter breakup.. It bothered me at first because I felt like a rebound, but we are happier than ever! :) Just depends on the situation, I suppose?
I was actually engaged when I met my now FI. It sounds terrible... but the night I met him my ex FI cheated on me with some random girl he met at the bar that night (I was at the bar WITH my ex.) I was angry and vengeful so I saw a cute guy at the bar and started making eyes at him. lol Needless to say he came over and we ended up talking the rest of the night but when it was time to leave I left with my ex and we went to an afterparty (with the girl) and when I decided it was time to leave my ex stayed. And the rest is history.
Little did I know I had made a very valuable friend that night who was recently divorced because of her cheating on him. We bonded over that very quickly and took our relationship a little too far, but we can't change the past. Even though it took me seven months to actually leave my ex, my FI was there for me through it all, he became by best friend and gave me the courage to leave.
It sounds bad, but the night I left my ex is the night my FI and I officially became boyfriend and girlfriend.
I was single and had given up looking but I had just started a new job and I saw a guy that I thought was cute, but he was in a relationship and I'm the farthest thing from a homewrecker and standing beside him was my now FI. Haha I think I made the right decision(;
I voted kind of. The week before I met my FI, my ex of 4 months and I had broken up. So when I met my FI, I actually wasn't super excited about finding someone new to date because I was still kind of choked up about the break up. We didn't go on our first date until about 2 or 3 weeks after we had officially met so luckily I had some time to get over the guy.
earlier that month i had just broken things off with a crazy co-worker I'd been on a few dates with, who to this day is still a great friend! definitely NOT dating material though. and then I had just gone out on about 3 dates with this other dude. . .he was boring though. and then FI came along. . swoon!
@o0olibelulao0o:My story is almost the exact same thing! Nice to know fate happens in all kinds of ways! Good luck to you!
I was single and DH had been single for a couple of months from an on again off again relationship and he was looking for someone to settle down with and he found me:)
I was!
I had been with my previous BF for 3 years when I met Mr. M. I really enjoyed spending time with Mr. M but was sure it was just innocent. However, slowly Mr. M helped reveal that my previous BF wasn't as great as I thought he was and I broke up with them.
I dated them both for around 4 months, they were both aware of the situation but it was still very messy.
In December I decided to brake it off with previous BF for good and shortly after became exclusive with Mr. M.
7 years later here we are :-)
We were both dating around. There was one other guy I was seeing where it might have turned into something more serious, as well as another guy I went on a couple dates with. He was seeing some other people casually as well. Neither of us were in serious relationships or hiding the fact that we weren't exclusive though.
I had been dating someone else for almost 2 months when DH finally worked up the courage to ask me out. While the other guy had been looking promising, no one could ever compare to DH in my mind (we had dated before several years earlier), but I kept him on edge for a little just to make him suffer and hook him. It totally worked!
I used this trick the first time we dated too. I sent myself flowers to work and was really mysterious about who they were from. DH went around asking EVERYONE if they knew who sent me the flowers and no one did, so he asked me flat out. I said they were from an 'admirer' and he immediately asked me out.
Breaking up with the other guy was harder than I thought. He apparently really liked me and wanted a full explanation and argued with my reasons for ending things. I used the strategy where I just said I didn't think it was working out, I didn't mention there was someone else. I tried the fade-out first, but he didn't take the hint and was furiously calling/texting/emailing me.
i was dating someone when i first met my husband. we met because he played on the same softball team as all of our friends (he was my previous boyfriend's coworker) it was never a romantic thing - we were just really good friends for a while. we actually didn't start dating or even think about dating until about 6 months after that other relationship ended.
He was single and I was going on dates with guys but nothing serious
I was in a relationship with one of his acquaintances. I got introduced to my now bf by my ex, but nothing started then except for me thinking he was really cute! It was probably about 2 years later that we randomly "re-met" at a concert and he got my number :) I was then single and had been for awhile!
@hwainwright85: I'm glad I'm not alone! A lot of people gave me a hard time about it... and thought I left my ex for him. Which isn't what was planned, it just happened. Sometimes fate steps in. lol Good luck to you too!
I was in a relationship when we MET. We did not start dating while I was in this other relationship, but once I met my husband, like others said, the problems I was having in my relationship with my ex became much more glaring. We had been having problems for awhile (albeit only to me, he was convinced we were perfect, despite my efforts to make sure he knew otherwise). I broke things off with my ex and waited two months before officially starting to date my now husband.
I had just gotten back with an ex, when we started to spend basically every minute together. By the time he made his feelings clear I was already half way out the door. Best decision ever!
i was trying to decide whether to give my ex a chance, and casually dating around...but he was living with his gf! the heart wants what it wants, though. :)
We used to go on double dates when we first met cause we were both dating other people. We were friends for years before we started dating. so funny how things work out!
yes, i was dating a guy when i met my now hubby but there was nothing more than friendship and even after i broke up with the guy my now hubby and i remained just friends for about 4mths and then one day he grabbed my hand as we were crossing a busy street and he didnt let go and that changed everything for us
DH was actually friends with my ex who I was with for 5 years. (Not close friends, more like work-friends.) After we broke up they were at a poker game together and he actually asked him if it would be cool to ask me out! Since I was recently out of a long relationship I said no for quite a while, then on one magical drunken night in Vegas I decided enough time had past and the rest is history!
I'm so glad to see this post! I was still technically with my boyfriend of 4 years, who I had supported and put through school (only to have him lie to me when he was kicked out so that I would keep supporting him), but we were definitely on the way out. I had made him move out and fend for himself, and we didn't even see each other every week, even though we lived in the same town. I met my now-husband through friends, and I figured he would be a rebound, but he made me feel beautiful, and I finally got the courage to break up with my ex. When he continued to pursue me, I still thought "rebound," but here we are, almost 5 years later, married for 6 months. =)
I had gone on a few dates with a guy I knew from high school (nothing serious) .. we probably went on 3.. then I met my single guy .. and I stopped going on dates with the other guy.
I voted yes, but it was 12 years ago and we didn't start dating until 2006!
I was in an unfulfilling relationship when we met. He actually made me think about how nice men can be, and how I wished my (at the time) man was. I realized I wanted someone really sweet and kind. He was easy to talk to, easy to make laugh, and helpful. Meeting him made me rethink the relationship I was in! (Not that we ever spent time alone until my other relationship was through. I just knew him as a peer at school.)
I was in a relationship when I met DH. I had been with the guy for almost 5 years, when I realised I wouldn't spend my life with him. I couldn't leave right away, needed to make some friends, have activities on my own, create a network so I would be able to leave and be strong. Plus, I did still love the ex, and was not ready to leave and still hoping somehow it could work out.
So I started new activities, and met DH in one of them. I didn't notice him at first but when we had an opportunity to talk more, we hit it off and became friends. And I began to have feelings for him and knew it was really time to leave my then BF. So I left, this was 10 months after starting the activity. Then started dating DH but tried to break it off after one week, because he was such a good guy and deserved better then what I could give him because I didn't have 100% to offer, I had to heal first. He told me to take my time and to enjoy us dating and spending good time together.
We were engaged 18 months later and married 30 months into the relationship.
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