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Another thread brought up the topic of grand gestures in proposing. I have to admit when I read the "waiting" posts, sometimes I think, "well if you didn't make it so hard on him..."
We discussed marriage, looked at rings a little, and I had that antsy "just do it feeling" for a few weeks. Then one night we were getting ready for bed, and he looked into my eyes and said "Marrymepleasesayyes." He told me later he felt at that moment like he couldn't go another second without asking. It was very authentic, and true to our relationship. But there wasn't a scavenger hunt, hot air balloons, a crossword puzzle clue. He just asked and I said yes, and then we both laughed until we cried. There wasn't even a ring until we got one together a few weeks later.
I love our story, but when other people asked "How did he propose?" I always got then sense they were disappointed in it. Did anyone else have a low key proposal? How did people/you react? For those of you who got "the grand gesture" what made it important? Was it the effort and care he put into planning it? The romance of the moment? Is having the story now worth (probably) having to wait longer?
None of this is judgement, I'm just curious.
I was perfectly content with my proposal. There were not hot air ballons, no roses, no sky shows, it was just FI and I and he did it in the way he wanted to, therefore it was perfect for US. I really don't care about how other people feel about it, it's special to me and that is all that matters.
i'm am right with you on this one! i am not a big showy person and i was secretly hoping he would just ask me at home on a random tuesday... turns out, he did! (except it was a thursday...haha) i hate getting the "oh my god how did he do it? tell me everything!!!" and having to just have a simple story, because people always seem disappointed.
it's silly, i got my proposal the way i wanted it, and us no-fuss girls shouldn't have to feel bad about it!!!!
I couldn't have been happier with my low-key proposal. We had known for years that we would marry each other, and talked about actually getting engaged for months. Once he'd saved up, we went ring shopping together, had lunch, picked up the ring and he "proposed" in the car in the parking lot. As if marriage hadn't been "proposed" by both of us for years. ;)
When it comes to other people, we joked that we should come up with a really dramatic story (it involved safaris and the ring being delivered on a rhino horn), but we decided to keep it straight. People are disappointed? They can have their big romantic adventure if it works better for them. This worked better for us.
Okay....[looks at computer sheepishly] I'll confess. I'm hotchildinthecity...and I was a little disappointed with my proposal.
I'd been with my fiance for nearly five years when we got engaged. I had no idea that he had the ring. One random day I came home from a particularly crappy job interview, put on my sweats and sat on the couch and ate Triscuits. FI told me to close my eyes. I told him to stop bothering me. Finally, I gave in and did it and then he proposed.
Don't think that I'm a high maintenece girl or anything...I'm not. But later I found out he planned to propose in Central Park and have photos taken but the ring was burning a hole in his pocket and he couldn't wait. He also thought about proposing in St. Thomas (we were leaving two weeks later) but he didn't want to hold onto the ring. I sort of feel like he didn't plan anything because he didn't "feel like" hanging onto the ring.
Anyway, I don't lose sleep over it or anything, but I do get slightly envious of others' wonderful and creative proposals.
I hope this doesn't sound horrible, I didn't like my proposal at all but I was thrilled it happened and planning the wedding is so much fun so it doesn't bother me much now.
I always always said, whatever he does, I just don't want the proposal to be at a restaurant, it's too cliche. Soooo, he takes me to a restaurant I'd wanted to try for a while. But our seat is technically a large booth with two women at the other end, we don't even have our own table. And at the very end of the meal he gets down on one knee and says stuff that I imagine was sweet but I can't remember because I was so nervous. There was a large crowd watching, I don't know how he did it. So I give him credit for that. He could of saved the money on the dinner and done something romantic at home. Originality is tough on these poor guys so I was a lil bummed but like I said, it happened! And he's typically a very sweet guy so I really don't complain.
mine was low-key as well
it was our best vacation in antigua, we had talked of marriage before but nothing came of it, so he brought it up again, I didnt take it seriously, but I knew if nothing happened this year I was going to move on with my life
in our Italian dinner, all of a sudden he said when we go back let's look at engagement rings
my heart stopped it was bursting with so much happiness, I said ok
I feel a little jealous when I hear all the effort other guys put in or the big fat rings otehr peopel have--but you know what I love my fiance I wouldn't have him any other way; one time he surprised me all the way from Engalnd and found me at the bar calling me a few minutes before asking where are you, he knew I was stressed at work and it was our food tasting--so he is a winner!plus I know it's not the size of the rock or the way he proposes it's but what matters most is the love in his heart
The ACTUAL proposal was very sweet and simple, just like us...He did it in our little studio apt in NYC (seriously, TINY apt...I hope when we live in a normal size house, we will look back and laugh at our shoebox) with roses and a framed poem he wrote...The poem was seriously incredible and I am so glad it was at home, where we are most comfortable and happy....however, AFTER the proposal was a whole nother story...We had originally planned on meeting with my parents for brunch upstate but right afterwards, he said, no dice, we're doing something else but wouldn't say what it was...walked into a restaurant about 2 blocks from our apt and there were about 35-40 of our families and best friends waiting to celebrate....So for me, it was perfect bc the proposal was just the two of us (which i had requested, no public proposal please) but then the celebration was with everyone who mattered most...For those who might have been disappointed, don't worry about it! You could always have him re-propose on an anniversary (maybe with another piece of jewelery, heeheehee!)
I was a "waiting" girl but even when he did it - it was low key and special!
He did under my favourite type of tree (willow) while we were going for a walk after dinner together and he was uber sweet because he waited until no one was around to actually do it!
I think its all in "how" you tell the story if you are excited to tell it they are excited to listen!
Mine was pretty low-key - he took me to a nice restaurant, and we were the only people there (literally, in the whole restaurant... would have been really romantic if he'd planned it that way 
). He got down on one knee after the appetizer came out - I had a huge scallop in my mouth and almost choked.
I'd always told him just not to propose to me at a sporting event (those are fine for sports fans, which I'm not really) or put it in my food (I'd likely swallow it).
No one was there snapping pictures or taking video. He didn't wax poetic about how happy I made him or how he wanted to create a beautiful life with me blah blah blah. All that would probably have made me uncomfortable! We're low-key people, after all, and I think trying to be someone you're not for one of the most important moments of your life is silly.
I loved my proposal. It's not much of a story to tell, but it's probably one of the fondest memories of my life I'll ever have. 
Id have to say that I was a bit different. I had heard to often of girls getting engaged in parking lots or some other completely random location. Sometimes they did something romantic before and sometimes not. I knew I didn't need something grand but just something that had obviously had thought put into it. My FI and I got engaged within 8 months of our relationship, though we had been friends for 2 years before dating. We had talked about getting engaged and married enough that I had had the chance to tell him I didn't want a proposal just in his house (both of us lived with our parents to save money after college) nor did i want it in some parking lot. I guess i pictured us getting engaged at some historical place, by the river, in a park, on a road trip, or something like that. But as it ends up we did get engaged in his house and it ended up being more nice and grand than I could have ever asked for. He chose the house simply because we had been having crazy winter weather. The day he choose to propose was the first nice day in a long time but he could not have predicted that. And he knew it would be a better choice than making me wait longer.
Our engagement night had a lot of planning put into it and it completely blew me away. Oh and I was completely surprised and taking off guard by the proposal itself. Totally didn't expect it. It made for a great story and an even better memory.
That night though I learned a few things. First, expectations are never good. Secondly, sometimes other peoples way of doing things can end up just as well. Thirdly, a great story isn't whats important. Its the simple fact that you guys love each other enough to commit to each other for the rest of your lives and on. I probably would have been just as happy without the grand experience and story just because I finally knew I was going to marry the man I loved.
Ours was pretty low key, he met me at the airport when I came back from studying in London, and suddenly he was down on one knee asking me to marry him.
My parents were there, and it was perfect. He just couldn't wait another second to ask :)
There were bets going on. Half the people thought he'd do it in a restaurant (he knew i'd kill him if he did, i didn't want that kind of attention) and half thought he'd just wing it. He had a plan, and it was simple. Honestly, i am VERY slightly disappointed he didn't stay on his knee longer, but hey, small potatoes! He was kneelng in chip wood crap anyways =]
at first i was a little confused because i was expecting a big speech, but then when i thought about it i realized that's really not us, and definetly not me, and the proposal was perfect. we were camping and he took me on a walk to a really pretty part of the park, waited for all the people to go away, (i thought we were just looking at the prettyness), and then just started talking about how we've been together for a year that day (i didn't even know that) and brought out the ring. it was a huge surprise for me, we were doing something i love, and it was just us. i didn't need a big speech to know that he loves me and wants to spend his life with me, he gave me a ring to show me that.
Mine was low-key in the sense that there was no scavenger hunt or big, crazy gestures. We were on vacation (a cruise) with my sister and her family, and he took me to the top deck of the ship right at sunset and dropped to one knee! My favorite part of it was that it was completely unexpected, which was exactly what I wanted. I think if there would have been some extravagant date before-hand, I would have known it was coming.
I guess I was kinda disappointed in our proposal. I love my guy, but before it happened I had one rule. I didn't want him to do it in front of other people. Well, he did. In front of his family on Christmas. Not the most romantic moment. :/ It's our moment though, and I honestly can't imagine having it any other way now.
FI proposed to me in a comic book store. I ruined the moment actually because I had no idea what he was about to do and chose that very moment to make a snarky comment about a random guy in the store.
It was perfect for us.
He hadn't seen me in a week and proposed in the airport... parking lot! He had inteneded to do it over dinner that night but before he got to the airport he turned around raced back to grab the ring and picked me up just in time. Usually when I tell people he propsed at the airport after I returned from a long work trip they imagine him at the gate with flowers and a camera crew. Instead it was very personal right before we got in the car to drive away. It was the perfect proposal to me (I had a few friends guess that he'd do it at an airport because I'm there so often) but some people seem to get ideas in their head about grand gestures (over-the-top) and are dissapointed with the "parking lot" addition to the story.
Either way it was perfect and I said yes! (And the sapphire ring I'd been dreaming of sealed the deal :) )
My husband was really stressing over the whole "how i am going to propose" bit before hand (as I learned later). His dad calmed him down - but almost too much! He was planning on ditching the plan and just proposing to me when I got home after a work trip one night in the middle of the week. Luckily my plane was late so he ended up going with the "plan". To be honest, I love that he put some thought into it and I love how he proposed. However, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks and as one Bee learned a big grand gesture proposal doesn't have anything to do with how much he loves you (this FI cheated on her).
For some reason these rings just burn holes in guys pockets. My brother got engaged at 21 and I remember begging him to make it special!! Well, he proposed in a restaurant parking lot because he just couldn't wait!! and you know what, they are happily married 12 years later and the proposal was just perfect for them :)
I wasn't blown away with mine, but I certainly wasn't dissapointed. It was spontaneous and cute, just like him. No grand gesture, just a moment between us before attending a party with all of my family members.
I think my husband is more disappointed in the proposal than I am! He had planned to ask me at the coffee shop where we had our first date, but my grandmother passed away and we needed to attend the funeral (instead of making the trip back to our college town). He ended up blurting out the proposal and handing me the ring because he didn't know what else to do. It was very emotional and sweet, but I think he wanted something different.
I loved our proposal. We went to DC to visit a cousin of mine for the weekend, and to see the cherry blossom. He kept the location of our trip hush hush until he realized that he couldn't pack for me. So other than the location which I found out a week before, I didn't know any other weekend plans until we got there. We stayed at the Mandarin Hotel. His initial intention was to propose at the Jefferson Memorial (his favorite monument) but realized when we got there that ther were way too many people and he wanted some privacy. So then he thought that the Gardens back at the hotel would work but when we got there it was Tea Time and the Lobby Restaurant looking out onto the garden was full, and again he thought too many people. (I of course was clueless as to what he was planning on asking since for weeks and weeks he had going on about waiting until we'd been together 18 months, and I was OK with it). We went back upto the room, to take a nap (so I thought) and prepare for a really nice dinner and a night out with my cousins. He decided at this point that we need to 'talk'. He proposes and I was in such shock that all I could say was Are you Serious? About 5 minutes later I got out the YES! Turns out everyone knew except me.
FI did not get down on one knee - my grandma asked me immediately whether he did....so I told her yes. What she doesn't know won't hurt her : )
Thank you for this post! Ours was very low-key, and very us. He had just gotten home from something, and I was in my PJs, watching Star Trek: TNG reruns. He proposed with a bag of my favorite caramel popcorn from a candy store in St. Paul, and slipped the bag onto my finger with a keychain ring he had tied to the bag. We chose a ring together the next day. Oh, and even though we'd been planning it, I was still surprised and almost thought he was kidding! But of course I said yes, and we couldn't stop laughing the rest of the night.
I had NO idea he was proposing so I was so overwhelmed I didn't care how he did it!!!!
Ours was very low key. I was actually completely surprised ... as he wanted me to be I assume =) It happened the day after Valentines day at our favorite place ever.
We were secluded in a private area of the restaurant and he asked me to marry him. =)
It's funny because it didn't involve some crazy scenario but it is perfectly fitting for us.
How funny that almost everyone responded with a "low key" proposal. Maybe the jumping out of airplane proposals are just myths from movies we all ended up believing?
My proposal wan't anything big either. Just me and my hunny sit outside talking about our lives. BUT i did c a shooting star right before he proposed. He took that as his que when I was making my wish. Couldn't have been more perfect though. All that matters is if you loved it!
It was long-awaited but perfect and...wait for it...low-key. As I posted on another thread, my favorite part was that we were on vacation and no one else knew about it until we got home 2 days later. And I don't like when people ask about it because it was very quiet and personal and I don't feel comfortable going into detail about what he said, how I responded, etc.
Along the lines of the shooting star (but not really, haha), my fiance and I went to Taco Bell on the first day of that vacation (he was planning on proposing sometime during the trip), and he randomly got a packet of hot sauce that said "Will you marry me?" He didn't tell me about that till later, but it was then that he knew he had to do it!
We talked about it for months and then went ring shopping together. We ordered the ring, it came in a couple weeks later, picked it up and "proposed" that night at home. When people ask about how he proposed and I tell them...they kind of look at me funny but oh well :)
I'm actually one of those who was a little disappointed with my proposal.. and I talked to FI about it, so I kind of got a second one :-) We had been talking about getting engaged for such a long time, and he knew I was going to say yes, so he was trying to trick me right up to the last moment. Which led to him asking if he had to get down on one knee.. uhm, yes please! He did have grander plans, but it kept raining every time he had planned. My second "proposal" was in bed as we were talking. He said all the sweet things, and told me how happy I make him, and gave me my ring again. So that's the one I count, but I tell everyone else the first story since that was the real proposal.
It's funny this is up today. I'm not dissapointed, per se, but underwhelmed for sure.
The symbolism was good; standing on the lot we are building our house on. But there was no speech, he didn't tell me why he wanted to marry me, he just kind of handed me the ring box and said "So will you marry me?" Obviously I said yes, and we kissed and hugged... and then went back to discussing grading the lot for landscaping...
Fitting for our low key and practical lives? yes. Emotional? no.
But I'll take it! I'm not complaining!
I loved the set up for my proposal - we were at a park bench along a river at sunset and it was very casual but fun, like us - but the actual proposal left me a little surprised that there was not more to it. He got down on one knee and simply asked "will you marry me". No sweet stuff, no fluff - just the big question. I was a so surprised by the quickness and blunt question I was completely stunned - I think if he set it up more with words I would have expected something... so I'm kind of happy it was low-key.
I was so happy with the way my fiance proposed. We had looked at rings a couple of months earlier and I picked the one I wanted but we didn't actually buy it at the time. Little did I know he called the store two days later and bought it and then it sat in his room for 5 months! When the proposal actually happened though I knew it was coming. We went to visit our college for a weekend and we were walking around campus. We then walked up to the really pretty grotto area and sat for a little while talking and just relaxing. I started to get nervous when he got very quiet. Then he proposed and I was so excited. I loved that it was just the two of us. I had said from the beginning I didn't want it to happen at a restaurant or with alot of people around so it was perfect for us!
Last summer my FH had to go to Alabama (we live in Maryland) for 5 weeks for job training. We had been dating for almost 4 years, owned a house together, and new that we would eventually get married. I had been getting a bit restless but I knew he'd come around when he was ready. I guess absence really does make the heart grow fonder because he was so homesick he couldn't stand it. By day 3 he started dropping hints about getting engaged. I was so happy just to hear him being the one to initiate conversations about getting engaged that I could not stand it. I flew down at the end of his training in order to make the long drive back, with a stop in Williamsburg for a few days of R&R. I had booked our weekend at a very romantic resort and while at dinner overlooking the most beautiful scenery, he grabbed my hand and just said how this is the perfect place and time to get engaged....he said he'd already looked up where the local Jared's was and wanted to go there the next day together to look for a ring. So we did just that and I picked out my own engagement ring and new all day that we'd be picking it up and he'd be slipping it on my little finger! So, no bells, surprise, or elaborate plan but at the end of the day, I get to marry my perfect match so who cares!! I was ECSTATIC!!
FH and I actually didn't do an official proposal. I don't remember when we decided to get married, actually, it's just been understood for awhile. Then at some point we were discussing next year's schedule and we realized if we didn't want to wait until 2011 we'd have to plan a wedding for next fall. So unromantic, I know, but I think an official proposal with one knee and a speech would make me so nervous I couldn't enjoy it!
My proposal came while we were broken up! We had broken up because he needed time to be convinced that I was ready and willing to lead a dual-military life. He told me that if we got back together, we would be headed for marriage.
Long story short, as he put his shoes on to head to his mom's place (he was leaving for Army training, so he was putting some stuff in storage anyways, even if we weren't breaking up...) he casually mentioned leaving his winter coats for "when he came back". Thinking he meant the next day, I said, "can you just take them now? I need the closet space." His response was something to the effect of "Yeah, but I'll be cold in December when I come back here..." Suddenly it clicked and I realized that he meant he was coming back to ME. That was pretty much it, though he "offically" proposed a few months later when I went out to his post to visit.
I don't know if I would call ours "low key" or not, but it was perfect!
We went camping over the New Year's Eve weekend at a Forest Service cabin. We skied in with our packs and arrived just in time to beat the darkness. We changed into dry long johns and made dinner and were just sitting around after. i was reading and he asked me to come sit with him by the fire. We were looking into the flames together and then suddenly he was on one knee telling me all the reasons he wanted to marry me! I was so surprised I hardly heard what he was saying, and my first response was, "Really?" (Of course my next response was Yes!)
And then we got snowed in. :)
We were on a cruise, he was sitting on the bed (clothed) and I was sitting in his lap (in just a towel) when he pulled out the ring and asked me to marry him. He said he wanted to do it at dinner but he was afraid I might say no....like I would do that to him!! POint - if you thought I'd say no, would you really do it on a cruise when neither of us can go anywhere and it would be totally ackward for a week!?!? Haha it was funny, and we laugh about it now. Very cute way to propose, I knew nothing about it, and it was realy nice to just be the 2 of us while he did it
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