Post # 1
Another thread brought up the topic of grand gestures in proposing. I have to admit when I read the “waiting” posts, sometimes I think, “well if you didn’t make it so hard on him…”
We discussed marriage, looked at rings a little, and I had that antsy “just do it feeling” for a few weeks. Then one night we were getting ready for bed, and he looked into my eyes and said “Marrymepleasesayyes.” He told me later he felt at that moment like he couldn’t go another second without asking. It was very authentic, and true to our relationship. But there wasn’t a scavenger hunt, hot air balloons, a crossword puzzle clue. He just asked and I said yes, and then we both laughed until we cried. There wasn’t even a ring until we got one together a few weeks later.
I love our story, but when other people asked “How did he propose?” I always got then sense they were disappointed in it. Did anyone else have a low key proposal? How did people/you react? For those of you who got “the grand gesture” what made it important? Was it the effort and care he put into planning it? The romance of the moment? Is having the story now worth (probably) having to wait longer?
None of this is judgement, I’m just curious.
Post # 3
I was perfectly content with my proposal. There were not hot air ballons, no roses, no sky shows, it was just FI and I and he did it in the way he wanted to, therefore it was perfect for US. I really don’t care about how other people feel about it, it’s special to me and that is all that matters.
Post # 4
i’m am right with you on this one! i am not a big showy person and i was secretly hoping he would just ask me at home on a random tuesday… turns out, he did! (except it was a thursday…haha) i hate getting the “oh my god how did he do it? tell me everything!!!” and having to just have a simple story, because people always seem disappointed.
it’s silly, i got my proposal the way i wanted it, and us no-fuss girls shouldn’t have to feel bad about it!!!!
Post # 5
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I couldn’t have been happier with my low-key proposal. We had known for years that we would marry each other, and talked about actually getting engaged for months. Once he’d saved up, we went ring shopping together, had lunch, picked up the ring and he “proposed” in the car in the parking lot. As if marriage hadn’t been “proposed” by both of us for years. 😉
When it comes to other people, we joked that we should come up with a really dramatic story (it involved safaris and the ring being delivered on a rhino horn), but we decided to keep it straight. People are disappointed? They can have their big romantic adventure if it works better for them. This worked better for us.
Post # 6
Okay….[looks at computer sheepishly] I’ll confess. I’m hotchildinthecity…and I was a little disappointed with my proposal.
I’d been with my fiance for nearly five years when we got engaged. I had no idea that he had the ring. One random day I came home from a particularly crappy job interview, put on my sweats and sat on the couch and ate Triscuits. FI told me to close my eyes. I told him to stop bothering me. Finally, I gave in and did it and then he proposed.
Don’t think that I’m a high maintenece girl or anything…I’m not. But later I found out he planned to propose in Central Park and have photos taken but the ring was burning a hole in his pocket and he couldn’t wait. He also thought about proposing in St. Thomas (we were leaving two weeks later) but he didn’t want to hold onto the ring. I sort of feel like he didn’t plan anything because he didn’t “feel like” hanging onto the ring.
Anyway, I don’t lose sleep over it or anything, but I do get slightly envious of others’ wonderful and creative proposals.
Post # 7
I hope this doesn’t sound horrible, I didn’t like my proposal at all but I was thrilled it happened and planning the wedding is so much fun so it doesn’t bother me much now.
I always always said, whatever he does, I just don’t want the proposal to be at a restaurant, it’s too cliche. Soooo, he takes me to a restaurant I’d wanted to try for a while. But our seat is technically a large booth with two women at the other end, we don’t even have our own table. And at the very end of the meal he gets down on one knee and says stuff that I imagine was sweet but I can’t remember because I was so nervous. There was a large crowd watching, I don’t know how he did it. So I give him credit for that. He could of saved the money on the dinner and done something romantic at home. Originality is tough on these poor guys so I was a lil bummed but like I said, it happened! And he’s typically a very sweet guy so I really don’t complain.
Post # 8
mine was low-key as well
it was our best vacation in antigua, we had talked of marriage before but nothing came of it, so he brought it up again, I didnt take it seriously, but I knew if nothing happened this year I was going to move on with my life
in our Italian dinner, all of a sudden he said when we go back let’s look at engagement rings
my heart stopped it was bursting with so much happiness, I said ok
I feel a little jealous when I hear all the effort other guys put in or the big fat rings otehr peopel have–but you know what I love my fiance I wouldn’t have him any other way; one time he surprised me all the way from Engalnd and found me at the bar calling me a few minutes before asking where are you, he knew I was stressed at work and it was our food tasting–so he is a winner!plus I know it’s not the size of the rock or the way he proposes it’s but what matters most is the love in his heart
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
The ACTUAL proposal was very sweet and simple, just like us…He did it in our little studio apt in NYC (seriously, TINY apt…I hope when we live in a normal size house, we will look back and laugh at our shoebox) with roses and a framed poem he wrote…The poem was seriously incredible and I am so glad it was at home, where we are most comfortable and happy….however, AFTER the proposal was a whole nother story…We had originally planned on meeting with my parents for brunch upstate but right afterwards, he said, no dice, we’re doing something else but wouldn’t say what it was…walked into a restaurant about 2 blocks from our apt and there were about 35-40 of our families and best friends waiting to celebrate….So for me, it was perfect bc the proposal was just the two of us (which i had requested, no public proposal please) but then the celebration was with everyone who mattered most…For those who might have been disappointed, don’t worry about it! You could always have him re-propose on an anniversary (maybe with another piece of jewelery, heeheehee!)
Post # 10
I was a “waiting” girl but even when he did it – it was low key and special!
He did under my favourite type of tree (willow) while we were going for a walk after dinner together and he was uber sweet because he waited until no one was around to actually do it!
I think its all in “how” you tell the story if you are excited to tell it they are excited to listen!
Post # 11
Mine was pretty low-key – he took me to a nice restaurant, and we were the only people there (literally, in the whole restaurant… would have been really romantic if he’d planned it that way ). He got down on one knee after the appetizer came out – I had a huge scallop in my mouth and almost choked.
I’d always told him just not to propose to me at a sporting event (those are fine for sports fans, which I’m not really) or put it in my food (I’d likely swallow it).
No one was there snapping pictures or taking video. He didn’t wax poetic about how happy I made him or how he wanted to create a beautiful life with me blah blah blah. All that would probably have made me uncomfortable! We’re low-key people, after all, and I think trying to be someone you’re not for one of the most important moments of your life is silly.
I loved my proposal. It’s not much of a story to tell, but it’s probably one of the fondest memories of my life I’ll ever have.
Post # 12
Id have to say that I was a bit different. I had heard to often of girls getting engaged in parking lots or some other completely random location. Sometimes they did something romantic before and sometimes not. I knew I didn’t need something grand but just something that had obviously had thought put into it. My FI and I got engaged within 8 months of our relationship, though we had been friends for 2 years before dating. We had talked about getting engaged and married enough that I had had the chance to tell him I didn’t want a proposal just in his house (both of us lived with our parents to save money after college) nor did i want it in some parking lot. I guess i pictured us getting engaged at some historical place, by the river, in a park, on a road trip, or something like that. But as it ends up we did get engaged in his house and it ended up being more nice and grand than I could have ever asked for. He chose the house simply because we had been having crazy winter weather. The day he choose to propose was the first nice day in a long time but he could not have predicted that. And he knew it would be a better choice than making me wait longer.
Our engagement night had a lot of planning put into it and it completely blew me away. Oh and I was completely surprised and taking off guard by the proposal itself. Totally didn’t expect it. It made for a great story and an even better memory.
That night though I learned a few things. First, expectations are never good. Secondly, sometimes other peoples way of doing things can end up just as well. Thirdly, a great story isn’t whats important. Its the simple fact that you guys love each other enough to commit to each other for the rest of your lives and on. I probably would have been just as happy without the grand experience and story just because I finally knew I was going to marry the man I loved.
Post # 13
Ours was pretty low key, he met me at the airport when I came back from studying in London, and suddenly he was down on one knee asking me to marry him.
My parents were there, and it was perfect. He just couldn’t wait another second to ask 🙂
Post # 14
There were bets going on. Half the people thought he’d do it in a restaurant (he knew i’d kill him if he did, i didn’t want that kind of attention) and half thought he’d just wing it. He had a plan, and it was simple. Honestly, i am VERY slightly disappointed he didn’t stay on his knee longer, but hey, small potatoes! He was kneelng in chip wood crap anyways =]
Post # 15
at first i was a little confused because i was expecting a big speech, but then when i thought about it i realized that’s really not us, and definetly not me, and the proposal was perfect. we were camping and he took me on a walk to a really pretty part of the park, waited for all the people to go away, (i thought we were just looking at the prettyness), and then just started talking about how we’ve been together for a year that day (i didn’t even know that) and brought out the ring. it was a huge surprise for me, we were doing something i love, and it was just us. i didn’t need a big speech to know that he loves me and wants to spend his life with me, he gave me a ring to show me that.
Post # 16
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
Mine was low-key in the sense that there was no scavenger hunt or big, crazy gestures. We were on vacation (a cruise) with my sister and her family, and he took me to the top deck of the ship right at sunset and dropped to one knee! My favorite part of it was that it was completely unexpected, which was exactly what I wanted. I think if there would have been some extravagant date before-hand, I would have known it was coming.