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We had talked about marriage A LOT - so I started with showing him styles that I found on the web and then progressed into showing him styles at the store! And when I found the one I knew immediately!
Good Luck!
Yes and no. We had talked about marriage previously and we both knew that's where we were headed, but I never went ring shopping or any of the like. But his mother (God bless her) has very... different taste than me in e-rings so I had definitely made it clear about what cuts I liked and what metal I wanted when it happened. Other than that, everything was a surprise.
My poor FH, he proposed when we had been together for 17 months, but I showed him ring styles starting a year before that! We went shopping a couple times, and ultimately he picked out my favorite one. He did so well!
We went looking at rings to see what kind of ring I would want. I have very small hands and chubby fingers and I wasn't sure what would look good on me. He ended up getting something similar to the ones I had liked at the store.
We started talking about getting married in August of 2008 and married in the summer of 2010. In early March of 2009 I reminded him that he gets really busy coaching little league baseball in the spring, and sometimes it can take a long time to order/ custom make an engagement ring.
He took the hint, and we went ring shopping in late March. He wanted my input, and I told him I'd be happy to choose a cut and setting design, but the size and quality of the stone were up to him.
We finalized the design I liked in early April.
And tomorrow is August 1. And I have no freaking clue why we aren't engaged yet.
Can you tell I'm frustrated about it?
I was totally surprised. We hadn't talked about marriage and all I told him was that I liked princess cut..
Nope, not at all. My proposal came as a total surprise and I was so shocked and happy when he knelt down to propose! I was never one of the girls who dreamed about or knew what kind of engagement they want, anyway. It took him a few months to scheme for the proposal and he did a GREAT job picking out a ring. The only clues he used on picking out a ring were that he knew I preferred the look of silver over gold on my jewelery, and he sneakily asked me about my ring size one time when I was shopping for a ring for myself. He handled everything himself, and I am soooo proud and happy and I think it made it just that more romantic and meaningful to me. It meant so much to me that he took the time and effort to talk to the jewelry designer (a family friend) and he hand picked the diamonds under her guidance. He also picked a timeless/classy style based on what he thought I'd love. And he was right, I absolutely love it! It turned out perfectly for us and I know I'll treasure forever. :)
we had talked about marraige, and weddings, but not the ring. i felt like he knew me well enough that he should know the basic style of ring that i would want... and i really didn't want to pick out my own ring. and i got exactly what i wanted- a 4th generation ring! i'm all about vintage!
Yeah, I picked out my ring... He wanted to make sure that I'd absolutely love it and what it symbolizes. I think that a surprise ring could be really fun though!
He picked out my ring with no input from either myself or my sister. I LOVE it, he did a really great job. When it came to my bands though (I have two on either side of the e-ring) he wanted help.
my bf has an heirloom diamond that he'll use to make a ring, and he doesn't want me involved in choosing the setting. i absolutely love that the diamond has been passed down in his family, and though i do love that he wants to design it himself, i also really want to help and be involved! but, the surprise will be fun too...
before we talked about it, i was really struggling with a way to ask him if i could be involved. we'd talked hypothetically about getting married, and being together for the rest of our lives, but not much more concrete than that. i didn't want to pressure him or be presumptuous, but i also wanted him to know that i'd be happy to be involved in picking it out and/or paying for it when the time was right. even though it sounds like a super passive-aggressive approach, i ended up writing that in an email to him, just so he wouldn't have to respond right away if he didn't want to, but i could still say it and have the idea in his head. he didn't say anything about for 2 months, but then it came up during a silly fight/discussion. it turned out it's something he really wants to do himself, and i'm so glad i know that now. even though i'm still waiting and i don't know when he'll propose, i know now he has an idea and a plan! and, now when wedding-y things come up, we talk about it like "when we get married" and not "if." all things that make the type-A, over-analyzing-and-planning side of me super happy :)
He insisted I go with him to pick out a ring. I didn't want to in the beginning but I'm glad I did. We were able to combine our tastes into a ring that made both of us happy.
My boyfriend suggested we go shopping. As he puts it, "I'm Italian and if you leave it to me, I'll get you something guady that I love and you'll be forced to wear it forever. You're coming with."'
We had decided that I'd pick the setting, he'd pick the diamond size, clarity, cut, yada yada... (so it'd still be a surprise). But after shopping five weekends in a row, I looked at him and told him I'd be happy with anything, and at that point, he had a pretty good idea of my style, and sent him off to buy it on his own.
He's now bought it (He dances around the house telling me his surprise is going to be "sooooo good!"), and now I'm playing the waiting game. 
When we started talking about marriage and "the Proposal" he told me he did not want me involved in the picking out the ring. I will admit I was disappointed. I definitely thought it would be fun, I obeyed his wishes. Kind of. I told my friend basically what I was wanting....princess cut solitaire or past present future ring. she passed it along and I ended up with a princess cut solitaire. :)
although the proposal was a surprise, we chose the ring together, and also the diamond for it too
It meant that I had to wait a little while, and also then a few weeks as my ring was made for me, but I actually found it really fun thing to do together, and it brought lots of thoughts about our wedding and his ring and what we wanted as well.
to be honest, I don't think my FI would have had a clue what to choose on his own anyway so it was a good thing we chose it (and the band, as it's part of a set) together!
He didn't want me to know or be involved at first. But then one of my friends got engaged and she was kinda of like WTF type expression on her face. We were there to witness it. So later on we were talking about her expression and he said he wanted it to be a surprise but also wanted me to have something I liked. So I went to the store picked one out and put it in his name. I told him that I had found a ring I liked and that he could go by and see it to get some ideas. He did and he didn't like the ring at all. So when we were on vacation I asked him to go with me into the store so I could see what he liked and he could see what I liked. As we were looking we came across THE RING and bought it! :) Of course he waited 3 weeks to give it to me
My FI dragged me into a jewelry store at the mall one day under the pretense that, since I rarely ever wear jewelry, he had no idea what I even liked in terms of rings, necklaces, earrings, etc. He wanted to know what I did and didn't like "for future presents." After pointing out several things that I thought were pretty or ugly, he pulled me over to the engagement ring counters to see what I liked "for the future."
He ended up buying a ring shortly after with some additional advice from my MOH, but amazingly hide it from me for over 3 months.
When we first began talking about it, I simply mentioned that I thought he needed my input. He wanted to know why. When i started explaining how picky I was and what sorts of rings I'd like, he realized he really couldn't pick out "the" ring for me. We went to a jewelry store and i told him to pick out what he'd give me. Then i explained why i didn't like it, haha. just casually mention that whenever you guys are ready, you'd like if he considered your opinion.
I'd already been looking for months online, so I kinda knew what i wanted.
Thanks everyone for your comments. Seems like most of you ladies were pretty involved. It seems like your guys were pretty responsive/cooperative as well. We have had countless opportunities for him to drag me into a jewelry store and browse so he can have an idea. This has never happened. I don't want to pressure him either, though. It's not my style and know it would drive him nuts. We've discussed and he knows where my head is. I guess the question is whether HIS head is there or not.
Did you ever think that he'd NEVER get it together? I silently think about a potential time frame for an exit, if need be. I also waffle back and forth from "It's time to be married already" to "Who cares. I'm not really ready to be a 'wife' anyway and we'd only be doing it because it's the next convenient and natural step."
He grabbed his mom and went right for the jewelry store totally unbeknownst to me to pick out the ring he had been imagining for the last couple months. I had absolutely no say in the matter; prior to him going out I would make hints about stopping in stores as we passed them so that I could give him an idea of my style but he never wanted to stop. I should have given him more credit because he knew exactly what I wanted without even having the slightest clue. :)
It's perfect. He's perfect. And I'm happy.
I knew exactly what ring I wanted (but would have been ecstatic about any ring) and showed it to FI. And then we bought the ring together (using my work discount and his money).
I am so bad...haha I brought up rings one day when I was mentioning that my best friend (and MOH) was going to get engaged soon and that we were online looking around...then it led to me showing him what I liked...which then led to us going shopping together to look for rings, because he quickly realized that he would have no idea how to pick one that I'd like without my input!
Anyway, we shopped around a few times, and once he knew the exact styles that I liked, he went ahead and made the decision...he picked out the center stone by himself without my input (other than the shape)...and he did a great job..I was definitely surprised when I finally saw it for the first time!
I wasnt involved at all. The only thing we every talked about was that I did not want anything yellow gold - I wanted either white gold or platinum. His sister had to make up some stupid excuse to get my ring size which I didnt even think twice about why she was asking and we were talking one night and I told her I wanted a princess cut or round diamond. The ring he picked out was perfect but I never once told him what I wanted.
After we discussed wanting to be engaged soon, I offered my opinion to my boyfriend since I knew exactly what I wanted. He was very open to me giving my input b/c he wanted to pick something I loved. I think I might have been more involved than some people would be -- depends on your personality. I went to the jeweler w/him to discuss the design and specs. After that I was hands off. Some of my friends gave pictures to their close friends so if the boyfriend asked, they'd be ready. It really depends how much surprise or specifics you want.
Yay on turning the corner and heading to engagement!
We've been together almost 7 years and have been talking about marriage the past two years. We decided in February to start looking.. I mentioned it I think, and he was like "Oh, that's a good idea!". We looked at a few places in March and then found THE ONE in mid-march. I'm still waiting.. sigh! Hopefully it will be soon.
Anyways, I'm biased because I think I would have loved whatever he'd have gotten men, but, I'm a writer and am super clumsy so I knew I wanted a relatively low-set ring. We ended up picking out my icon, a 3 stone princess sparkler with engravings! Love it.. can't wait to have her on my finger! He knows I'm picky, so in our case it was better to pick something out together :)
I would just start dropping hints if you're not sure if you want to be involved completely!
We had to go into a jewelry store together to exchange a gift I'd gotten him (in February), and he said "we should look at rings while we're here". So we looked, but they didnt have anything that I really liked, so I told him that I liked emerald cuts and white gold, and sent him like 3 pictures of settings I liked online. He took it from there, and picked something similar, but with his own spin on it. He bought the ring in April, and proposed in July. I love the ring, and I also really like the fact that he took my likes into consideration, but added his own touch. It makes it more special to me.
Kind of. We went to two different jewelry stores. The first one was a chain store in the mall. We basically went there to get an idea on prices and to try some on to see what I liked. Then we went to our local jeweler that does custom design work. I found a band design that I liked and we talked about different stone options but didn't commit to anything that day. My fiance then went back a month later and picked out a diamond and the band I picked out. I wanted either a colored stone or a princess cut diamond but I ended up with a round diamond. And I couldn't be happier with it. It's super sparkly even when it's dirty, and it's classic and simple.
I will be surprised if I am involved. All the comments he's made when we've talked about it indicate that he wants to be quite independant about it/pick it out himself. I've hinted for him to take my brother with him (they get on really well) as my brother and I have very similar tastes and I always like the stuff he gets for me, so well see :P
To be honest I kind of prefer it that way. If chose one together there wouldn't be much point pretending I didn't know anything about it, and we might as well just get engaged in the shop lol. This way he gets to give me a nice surprise and do what ever things he thinks proposing involves (asking dad, setting the scene etc).
Anyway, knowing how long it takes for him to make decisions (very rational and considered... not like me! We claim we 'balance' one another haha), and how carefully he'd search, I might be waiting a while!
I was VERY involved. We picked it out together and then I actually went and picked it up and wrote the check for it {his checking acct.}!! We had it made, so when we decided to elope, it wasn't ready yet. I flew to meet him and my ring wasn't ready until the day before I left. So, my jeweler is who put it on my hand for the first time. LOL. Good thing I'm not a romantic, huh?
$120 anniversary set from KOHLS -- (they had 60% off all their diamond-luxe *lab created diamond* jewerly) -- The best part-- it's still georgous!! It looks 100 times better than my sisters expensive Freidman's set (she was married a year before me and they're still paying on the ring!) Her diamond is really cloudy, while mine are perfectly cut and clear with so much color diffusion!!-- we couldn't have made a better investment!
And I got lucky... this particular anniversary set only came in a ring size 7!
~Charity
P.S. I'll try to upload a picture soon-- I'm babysitting right now, jewelry and 18 month olds don't always get along if you get my drift :)P
I wasn't :)
But he did a great job! I picked my wedding bands though :) :)
The more I thought about it, the more involved... to the T. I got over the whole... I want him to pick it feeling when I realized I didn't want to be disappointed in a piece of jewelry I'd wear forever.
Nope, I was not involved at all. He always liked buying me jewelry and early in our relationship brought me some princess cut diamond studs and a princess cut diamond pendant. Once he said, I like the princess cut, do you like that? I was like, sure...but that was very early in the relationship!
When he gave me the ring it was a total surprise! It wasn't exactly what I would have picked for myself, but it's gorgeous. He had it custom designed for me and I love it :o)
I wasn't involved at all. we had talked about marriage so we knew where things were headed but i had no idea re timing. we didn't talk size, setting, metal, etc either and he's never gone jewelry shopping with me. so it was a total surprise when it came. he focused on the stone and told the store we'd come back and change the setting if i didn't like the setting... turns out i love it just fine!
We shopped together about two years before becoming engaged and found one we both loved at an estate jewelry store. He saved up and bought it and resized it without telling me (I had made absolutely sure--on several occasions--that he knew my size) and proposed about 6 months later. It's beyond perfect. Congrats and good luck! =)
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I was wondering how many of you ladies were (or weren't) involved with the ring shopping. If you were, did he approach you about it? Or were you more upfront about being involved? I ask this because I'm thinking that we're turning a corner as far as becoming engaged in the near future (hoping within the next 8 or 9 months. if not I'm OUT but that's a whole other post...) but he hasn't really brought up ring styles or anything. Makes me a bit nervous to be honest. Most of my girlfriends were involved with the ring- went shopping together, openly discussed styles, what they did/didn't like etc. So just curious how ya'll worked it out.