Post # 1
Just curious because when we got answers from some people, we were literally in shock by some, and hurt by a few.
The standouts for us were definitely my FIs sister. She told us so many times that she’d be there, come hell or high water, with her three girls because they all really wanted to meet me and catch up with the family. We got her RSVP in the mail, five days late, and it was a “No.” We were shocked, and so my FI called his sister and asked why, to which she pretty much responded, “It’s too much for me, and I really just don’t have the energy.” One, she only lives two hours away, and I understand that with kids, driving can be stressful, but we thought for a wedding, she would want to do it, especially because she hasn’t seen her family in about eight years. We were more hurt that it wasn’t even a good reason, especially since her kids are all above the age of 12. I dunno, I guess I’m just a “don’t miss an immediate family member’s wedding for anything” kind of person, so I take this stuff personally, which I know I shouldn’t. My FI was really bummed.
We were also shocked that a few of our good friends decided not to come. These were also people who were like, “We wouldn’t miss it for the world!” and then we get their no response saying, “Sorry, we just couldn’t make it work.” Mind you, they all only have to drive about two hours.
Lastly, we had a few relatives coming that we never thought would come in a million years. Some we’ve never even met and they have to travel quite a ways to come.
It’s funny how things work out sometimes, I suppose.
Post # 3
I would also be shocked and hurt by FI’s sister’s response. Especially because you invited her children! Sometimes people with children say that they can’t make it if their children aren’t invited because they can’t find sitters, don’t want to leave them alone, etc.
Also, traveling 2 HOURS with children all over 12? That is not a struggle. My family used to drive to North Carolina, 18 hours, from the time my sister and I were in kindergarten on.
I definitely feel you on this.
Post # 4
yep we had same experience in both directions – some really hurt and some were really surprising, in a good way. we tried to focus on just enjoying who we had, because you just can’t explain some people’s actions!
Post # 5
That’s what our attitude is at this point, too, kkuether. It sucks, but at least we know we’ll be touched by everyone that DOES attend.
Post # 6
My grandparents rsvp’d no, just no, not an explantation or a congratulations or anything. Kind of weird I thought and it hurt my feelings a little at first but I’ve moved on now. Just remember girls, people can be very strange 🙂
Post # 7
My Great Aunt rsvp’d no. She came out for the bridal shower but can’t come for the wedding. Wouldn’t you choose wedding over shower? Also, my Gma on my dad’s side isnt coming. I understand, she’s 80, lives in Ohio (I’m in Oregon) and had her hip replaced last year. But I’m still hurt. I’m the 1st grandchild to get married! I feel your pain Miss Chapstick. ::hugs::
Post # 8
I haven’t sent out invites yet, so I can’t relate yet…but wow!! The sister?? and only 2 hours away? That really sucks!
Post # 9
I’m sorry! That totally sucks! I hope we don’t get a lot of that when we do our invites~
Post # 10
I would have been pretty surprised by your fiance’s sister’s response. I was kind of surprised that a couple that are friends with my ILs didn’t come. My MIL fought like crazy to get them on the list and then it turned out that they were on vacation the week of our wedding. Apparently, MIL knew all the time, but she never told me! So there I was, worrying about the guest list limits and she knew they wouldn’t be there!
Post # 11
2 hour drive? Thats nothing the majority of our guests are more than a 2 hour drive away and we drive to them often for just a party night out so I will be quite upset if they don’t make it!
Post # 12
We’re getting some surprise “yes” responses, which is nice. We have no family here in FL…the closest would be his side (Iowa) and farthest…my side (Japan, Hawaii) =D
Post # 13
Two hours isn’t far away to travel with teenagers at all! One of my first cousins RSVP’d NOand I was a bit shocked for a while. I decided that you just have to accept people as they are…. and move on
Post # 14
We got some surprise yesses, which was nice. The strangest, though, were my husbands cousins, who before we were even engaged were harassing us about our wedding and they couldn’t wait, etc. and not only did they not come, none of them RSVPed! My MIL called after the RSVP date passed, and never heard back from them. Wierdly enough, MIL had a party over Labor Day, same cousins didn’t RSVP, and then two hours into the party they all showed up! I guess they are just an anti-RSVP family?
Post # 15
As a single mom with twins who are 5, I think its bunk that someone with kids of their age couldn’t come-that is baloney. Sorry to be so blunt, but I have very little sympathy for folks who do that. Immediate family-we need to be there! I’ve driven three + hours for my sister’s kids birthday party-the little extra effort is important to keep family together (especially bc my kids are almost 6, her oldest is 6 weeks older than mine, her middle child is 3 and youngest 1) We do ALOT of driving between NE Florida and here in SW Georgia to keep the family close. Hugs & sorry about your FIs hurt feelings-justified in my opinion.
Post # 16
Wow, sorry..that would upset me too!!