@VMars: AWW…you dont have to feel that way. I dont, I’m TERRIBLE with surprises, I always have this look of mixed awkwardness and confusion almost bordering on disappointment whatever the gift is! lol…I could be totally pleased and happy but I’m a horrible receiver of things. My closest friends and family arent bothered by my reactions though.
My boyfriends on the other hand know me well enough NEVER to try and surprise me. 3 of them have been turned down (in private because even they knew better than to try that on me in public). Part of my reaction to proposals is that I’am so willful and independant that I feel that springing things on me is just NOT cool or respectful. The pressure alone is enough to freak me out and I’am VERY private about my emotions. Also, trying to corner me with money or jewelry is a BAD idea whatever the sentiment.
This is a very touchy thing for me, some people might say that I have issues, I’m just careful because I don’t need to be a divorce statistic. Now throw all those feelings and the above described reaction to even CHRISTMAS gifts into a proposal situation and yeah….not so much! (btw I don’t beleive in Xmas gifts….I think spending time with the people you love is most important. Goes with the whole money thing. I do however LOVE art, something someone makes is awesome!!)
Yes I’am aware that its NOT about the ring and I know, it makes for very bad romance material but I’am a very down to earth, practical kind of chick and I’am NOT swayed by material or even emotional things….That all said, my fiancee, the 4th man in my life to propose to me, did not propose to me.
He talked to me seriously about getting married over the course of a few months, then he started asking me about what I would like to see in an engagement ring. Yeah, this man was CRAFTY and owing to the fact that I’am a visual person he started suggesting we go down to a private jeweler. I mean, I was in such denial that I WAS surprised when he drove me down to eat breakfast at a little cafe and then carefully nudged me in the direction and through the door of the jewelers next to it…
I was told to look and get ideas and I was getting nervous and agitated but man, that lady was GOOD, she let me walk around for a bit and then led me by the nose in getting a design idea out of me. By the time I walked out and even knew what happened she had drawn a picture of what I wanted and was already making calls….I was upset when we got home though!!! I TOLD you I was bad.
He talked to me and calmed me down and asked me again to consider everything he told me that the ring was a commitment from HIM and that I was not tied, obligated or being tricked by him. I calmed down and he gave me a week and by then the jeweler had a setting for me to look at and the excitement had caught. I went in to pick stones and a month and a half down the line I had my ring!
I had personally directed its creation so I know everything that went into it BUT I will say this, when the ring was finished and he put it on my finger and told me to go outside, I was STUNNED into silence!! My breath caught and I was stupid with awe! Yeah, he got a smile out of the grinch! and while I did not get all giddy or cry, that was my approximation of the Ed McMahon dance, it just happened INSIDE and he loves me for me, not because of some expectation of hysterical joy. He says that I get this shy smile like in my kid pictures and when I blush he knows I’am genuinely happy.