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My boyfriend finally confessed last night that he's really upset about not being able to suprise me. He wishes that he would have gone about things differently and not told me that he was going to talk to my dad....I always thought most girls were in on the whole process...he seems to think otherwise...whats the majority??? And if you were suprised, do you wish you had known earlier and been able to pick your own ring....or if you knew, do you wish it would have been a suprise...I'm kinda happy with the way things have gone...but what are your thoughts on this??? Thanks Bees!!!
I was totally surprised, I had absolutely no clue he was going to propose on our trip to Portugal last year. I think the only thing I ever mentioned to him was that I love rings that come in a set, and I guess he listened cuz thats exactly what he got me. He did awesome and I don't think I would change any of it.
It seems you are fine with it. Just your FI? Is he your FI yet? Seems he is undecided how he feels about it. Which he will get over I am sure. Keep reminding him you was GLAD to know ahead of time & wouldn't had wanted to been surprised & I think he will feel better about it. :-)
I was completely surprised! We had talked a little about marriage but I never thought he would asked so soon. But I sure was glad he did! :-) I still got to pick my ring, we picked it together actually. I wouldn't change a thing!
We had talked about marriage, but I had NO clue that he was going to propose yet. He apparently had the ring for a couple months, and everyone else knew, including my parents. So, they did a really good job of keeping it hush hush. He even showed his mom the ring about a month before when she was here visiting and I was completely clueless. Looking back, I see all the signs now, ha ha!
BF and I went ring shopping together, I was there when he purchased the ring. I know he has it in his possession, but the actual date/time of the proposal will be a surprise to me! I almost wish I didn't know ANYTHING about it, not even what the ring looks like, but I'm glad we went and picked something out together. The rest is up to him!
I signed us up for a scavenger hunt uptown one march and the prize: a 25k diamond ring. It was tons of fun, but we didnt win - this def got the ball rolling on marriage talk though
a few weeks later my husband and I were at the mall and he was like "lets take a look in here" i was super nervous and didnt even know what to look for in there.... When we got home i showed him a few pictures of rings i liked - after that we didnt talk about it much. I knew we would get married but i didnt know when he would propose but i had a feeling it would be around the holidays 2010..his sister was getting married in august and i assumed he would wait until after to propose...but i was wrong! he (kind of) surprised me in July 2010.
honestly i had no idea he would propose so soon and i ruined the surprise for myself...one saturday we were (again) at the mall and his phone rings, he walks away as i was browsing and after a good 10 minutes i couldnt find him then he comes strolling by saying he had to take that call (looking back he was asking my mom and dad who were out of town that weekend). The next day we were sitting around the apartment, he was in the shower and my phone was dead...since my parents were out of town i needed to text my mom and see if i needed to let the dogs out or if one of my brothers would be home - not knowing how to work his blackberry i went to texts and the first thing i see is a text between him and my mom...i threw the phone down, not wanting to read it, thinking "there is only one reason he would be texting my mom" so this def raised my suspisions but i never mentioned it. After the weekend and into the week (on wednesday) i got an email from him saying "pack your bags, we are headed to charleston for the weekend"...now its not uncommon for us to take weekend trips but for him to plan them was strange..i normally plan these things... what made my suspicions grow more was when we checked into our hotel and it was under my dads name....(he offered my husband his marriot points to get us a room) He proposed that weekend and i knew it was coming...becuse i ruined the surprise for myself and one too many things kept adding up.
I think i would have been fine being involved in the proposal process but i love that he tried to surprise me - what i didnt like was being in limbo, knowing but having to act surprised...
(he still doesnt know that i somewhat knew what was going on)
I showed FI 2 rings that I was in love with. I knew when he bought A ring.. I was unsure of which it was though and he never showed me in person. I was kind of expecting the proposal because FI and I are in an LDR so the timing and the ring lines up.. but I was not expecting everything to be so elaborate and my friends def went out of their way to confuse me!
I was in on the whole thing! We went ring shopping together. He told me that he talked to my parents. He told me when he got the ring, then took me out to a fancy dinner and tried to throw me off... but by that time I knew it was coming!!
Personally, I was totally fine with it... I don't really like surprises and I'm glad that I wasn't kept in the dark. If you're happy with it, then I wouldn't worry about it!
It was ALMOST a total surprise to me. My FI did an amazing job of planning it and getting the right idea for my ring (he had my twin brother's girlfriend email me with pics of rings she liked, saying she had a dream my bro proposed and we should exchange ring ideas just in case). It was so sweet how much effort he put into our mountain-top proposal and trying to keep it a secret.
I was almost fooled, but a day or two before we left, I got suspicious - too many coincidences. I was right, but it was nice to have the anticipation of not being sure. I was prepared with my answer, but since we hadn't done anything engagement related together, I was really careful not to assume anything or get ahead of myself.
It was perfect for me, but I honestly think engagements are so personal that it's hard to say what would be right for someone else.
I said other - it wasn't a secret and he didn't propose. We talked about marriage for awhile. We realized early on in our relationship that we could see ourselves getting married and when we moved across the country together we started talking more specifically about when we would get married and decided on summer/fall 2011. At that point, it was a matter of when we'd start telling people we were engaged and what our plans were. He asked me a few months before we got officially engaged if I actually wanted him to propose vs. just make a mutual decision, and I said no. So he didn't - we just picked a time (before a trip home to see our families) to buy a ring and make it official.
I was a mixed bag. We def talked about marriage and about 2 weeks before we talked about rings. In reality he consoled me while I cried about the ugly rings his best friends had been buying. I was worried about getting an ugly ring and having to like it! We went ring shopping that weekend but talked about how it would have to wait till next year i.e. money. He joked about asking me at Thanksgiving when all the family was in town and that's exactly what he did! I was really surprised since I was thinking we had a few more months to go. A lot funner with the surprise though.:)
We had planned for it to happen November in 2010 as we were just finishing paying off debt. So I went out and found a ring waaaay earlier that year because I was too excited to wait and he ended up picking it up and surprising me with a proposal in June instead.
I think it's funny how at this point the top 3 poll choices are tied!
I always thought my BF would just surprise me completely but he suggested we go ring-shopping together! We did go shopping together and even discussed details like the ring budget. I basically picked out my ring and he's "surprising" me with it when it's ready. So I have a very, very good idea of when the proposal is coming!
I do think it's really sweet when a guy completely surprises his girl, but I'm glad we at least went looking together because it turned out that what he envisioned for me (a princess solitaire) was different than what I actually fell in love with (a cushion-cut halo). Not that I wouldn't love anything he gave me, but he'd just have no way of knowing my "dream ring." And he really wanted me to have something I absolutely loved. Very sweet! It's ultimately about the love and commitment anyway, not the surprise :D
I knew we would get engaged very soon. He had asked my opinion on rings, but he refused to let me pick it. That was all his decision. I knew that he had talked to my dad, but only because my mom accidentally let it slip. I thought it was possible that it would happen the day that it did, but that was only because it was a significant day for us, and it could have been any other day in the near future. I was the most surprised by my ring, since it's nothing like what I told him I wanted, but I love it anyway. He did good. :)
I was surprised. He bought the ring while in Lousiville with his mom (while his da was in the hospital). He called my mom and talked to her about the size and color. I was in the room the whole time and didnt know what they were talking about! He lived here with me at my parents house for a while and had it hid in our room behind his computer. I never seen it!
We had talked marriage and he had asked me if I liked round vs. princess cut, but otherwise, that was it. I had no idea that he had gone w/ my SIL to pick out my ring or that he asked my dad. Everything from that point was a total surprise. I wouldn't have it any other way.
I've loved weddings since I was a kid and I'm a wedding blogger so FI and I have ALWAYSSSS discussed weddings, marriage, and future plans, etc. I'm very forward so we have been discussing rings for like a yr b4 he got really serious with his plans. I changed my dream ring like 4 times and when he asked me what was my FINAL choice I had an idea it was coming soon. I thought he would propose on my bday (week b4 Christmas), then I thought Christmas, then I thought New Years, then his bday (jan 20), then Valentine's Day...so needless to say I totally gave up and stopped anticipating it. I just figured he couldnt afford it yet and was going to wait till after we buy our house. So he COMPLETELYYY caught me off guard with a proposal on a random day in April, lol! I loved the fact I had complete say in the ring I got but was still surprised, he managed to ask my parents for their blessings and gather over 30 of our friends to be at our proposal...ALL without me having a clue so needless to say I was floored b/c I am VERYYYY nosy
Everything was a surprise. We talked marriage from the beginning but we both knew there was no timeline. Coming from a family of much divorce and he coming off an engagement the year prior to our meeting we wanted to do it when we felt like it was right. I only ever told him in the beginning I was inlove with solitaires. I honestly wasn't expecting him to propose when he did and I wouldn't change anything about it. Only his family knew he was doing it bc if ge told mine, they are quite the blabber mouths.
We'd talked about marriage and both knew we would marry each other. He'd dropped hints that we'd be engaged sometime in the next 6-8 months or so. He didn't want any thoughts from me on rings (besides my size) as he wanted to pick it on his own and have it be a total surprise.
I had no clue that he would be proposing on the weekend he did it (I didn't even know he had a ring yet). I had no clue what the ring would look like (he picked better than I think ever could have!). But I wasn't at all surprised that he wanted to ask me to marry him.
And I wouldn't have had it any other way. :)
I pretty much knew everything. I can't say that changed anything, though, I was still excited and I still am!
My fiance and I have talked marriage for years. We'd been together 7 1/2 years when he proposed. As one or both of us had been in school up until two months before he proposed, I didn't really expect anything before that. BUT, I *had* been pressuring somewhat... I never, ever thought he could surprise me.
I planned a weekend getaway to Banff for the two of us just because we needed a break. Long story short, it was SO romantic, and he completely surprised me because *I* planned the getaway! If he had planned something, I would've been totally suspicious. :) It was perfect.
@Dolldancer8: my boyfriend has expressed the same to me. we've only just begun looking but i feel as though me being involved has spoiled it for him. He says he wishes it was as simple as in the 1890s when men asked for a lady's hand, and they just wore the ring. no talking about it, or comparing or anything. I told him we arent comparing here, just showing it, and looking for feedback or ideas. sigh. i understand what you mean...
I voted other. We were friends for a long time before getting together, and once we did the topic of marriage came up a lot. We went with friends to look at engagement rings for them, but ended up looking for us too. I mentioned it to my mom, who told my grandma, who then offered me her ring. FI and I talked about it a lot and decided to accept.
Last year at Christmas I got it from her, and then February he said we should get it resized. But at that point we were already tentatively planning for Memorial Day weekend. I didn't know exactly when he was going to propose, but I did say that if we weren't there by the end of the summer then we should talk about it. Not in a deadline kind of way, but in a "we should make sure we'd doing ok and moving forward" kind of way. In the end, he couldn't wait and proposed in March :).
Ours was a weird situation (I voted other) - HE didn't even know he was going to propose.
He had told me the week leading up to it that he was in the process of finding a ring. That weekend I had a strange feeling that if we discussed it enough, we'd maybe just end up getting a ring and getting engaged then and there, as I had been teasing about going to look at rings the whole weekend. Marriage was just a big topic in general that weekend - we'd been discussing it all along, but there was a definite difference in how seriously we were talking about certain plans. On Sunday we were planning on hanging out in Manhattan for the day, and I suggested looking at rings. He proposed right then in our kitchen without a ring, and then we went to an antique shop to get one together. Neither of us wanted to wait any longer (screw waiting for a ring!), and I like that the proposal was different that way.
We hadn't really talked about getting engaged, we both knew that we would. We had been together over 4 years and are both in our thirties so it was going to be sooner or later (so glad it was sooner). He surprised me out of the blue on Valentine's Day (although we don't celebrate V-Day so really it was a normal Monday night that just happened to be V-Day) and as we were going to bed he said that he wanted to start looking at rings and "get this ball rolling". (Like I said, we are not the uber mushy types). Little did I know that he had actually been talking to my best friend about rings for weeks (she never let on!), but he was feeling overwhelmed by the process so decided to include me for the ring search.
So glad he did, it was great to be able to pick the ring together. It took about a month (and all my patience...didn't want to tell anyone until it was offical. My best friend did know though so that was nice.) We ended up finding THE ring at a local jewler in our neighborhood and we knew it was the perfect ring for us. We took lots of pictures and said we needed think about it. Less than an hour later Fiance called the shop and told them he would be back in the morning to purchase the ring. He made me wait a week to officially propose (after asking my parents), and the proposal was just the two of us at home on a Sunday evening. Perfect for us!
We talked about marriage like any other couple would but I didnt expect the enghagement.... It was definetly a surprise.
My fiancee and I had talked about it previously, and he knew my dream ring. That being said, he kept playing it off saying it would be another 6 months-1 year before we would get engaged. He went through one of my friends to get my ring size and all details. I was completely surprised when he asked, and wouldn't have it any other way!
My fiancee and I had talked about it previously, and he knew my dream ring. That being said, he kept playing it off saying it would be another 6 months-1 year before we would get engaged. He went through one of my friends to get my ring size and all details. I was completely surprised when he asked, and wouldn't have it any other way!
My fiance and I always talked about the future. Getting married, buying a house, having babies. So it wasn't a surprise. One day, he just asked me if I wanted to get married when he got back from deployment. I said sure. Then we went and picked out a ring together. I like how we went about it because getting engaged was something we decided together as a couple.
I think there's a lot of pressure on guys to pull of a big crazy surprise proposal. You see all those youtube videos and stuff. And I'm glad he didn't do that because it would have felt so forced. He's a much more laid back kind of guy. And we're both terrible at surprises because we both can't keep a secret.
I knew he had the ring because he let it slip accidentally and I had a general idea of a timeline because we are long-distance and I figured it had to be a time when we are together, haha. :) I was surprised, but my girl intuition had me suspicious, so not an absolute surprise I guess. :P
We had talked about getting married for years, we've been together for 9 years. But he hasn't been able to find a job and has been substitute teaching but that's not really consistent work. So he totally surprised me on our 9th anniversary. I didn't think he could afford a ring but apparently he'd been saving for quite a while and somehow managed to keep it a secret.
We had talked engagement numerous times--I may have also emailed him a link to the ring I wanted---which he ended up getting! He proposed on my bday in Oct and I was thinking it'd be more like Xmas/etc. Total shock!
I said other:
We looked at rings together, picked one out, and I patiently waited. One morning, he asks, "Your ring size is 5, right?" And I knew it would come soon. My birthday was coming up, and I just had an itching feeling that it would happen on that day, and sure enough I was right!
So, it wasn't a huge surprise, but I wouldn't change it for the world :)
Completely surprised. We didn't go ring shopping until after he proposed because he didn't want to give me a ring I might not like. Instead, he proposed with a family heirloom necklace.
100% surprised. We had talked about getting married for awhile, but from the way he would talk about it, it didn't seem like he would be popping the questions for a year or 2 at least so I was kind of whatever about it.
I had ALWAYS told him though that I didn't care about the size or shape of the diamond or the color of gold it is set in. I just wanted a close to perfect diamond. I had been saying this since our 6 month anniversary so he knew.
Then the day before Valentines day we went out to dinner and he wnated to take me to a local waterfall that was frozen over. We love frozen waterfalls for some reason. And then, he kneeled down in 13 inches of snow and propsed. Best night ever.
I was COMPLETELY surprised, but we talked about marriage. Meaning we knew we'd be together forever!
We had been talking about marriage for a while, but he had me convinced that he would not be proposing for a long time because he could not afford a ring. Then one day last fall, we went to our favourite park and he proposed! He had the ring in our apartment for a couple months before doing it, and I had absolutely no idea!
We had shopped rings together and talked about what we both liked/pictured but this was months before he proposed. For a little while I hoped he was moving forward with it but after a while I kind of put it out of my mind and that's when he proposed so he totally caught me off guard. Especially the day he asked, I didn't expect a darn thing which for a waiting bee is a hard task to accomplish, we are always scouting for clues :)
Call me crazy but I did NOT want to be surprised. Marriage isn't like a surprise birthday party, it should be discussed a lot. DH and I talked about it and came to the mutual decision to get married (though he brought it up first).
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