The vet just told us we should put my little one down in the next few days and I feel like I'm slowly dying myself. I've had her for 15 years.
I don't know if I should be there when it happens. Part of me is so scared and thinks it will be agony watching her pass. Another part of me is afraid I'll feel guilt and regret the rest of my life if I'm not holding her.
I've always seen my pets to clearing when the time comes, I figure if I was dying under a tree somewhere, they'd stay with me. It's hard, and sad, but it's part of the deal.
So sorry to hear you have to go through this. We've been there for both our dogs, but they died naturally, and I'm so glad we were. I think I would have regretted not being there for them. It will be heartbreaking to be there but I think it would be worse if you regretted not being there.
@MrsCreeToBe: I'm so sorry about your pet.
I went through this last year. My 17 year old cat (I had her since she was 6 weeks old) got very sick and had to be put to sleep. I held her in my arms as she died. It was very peaceful. The vet gave her a shot and she peacefully passed away in my arms. Even though it was extremely difficult (I'm crying now as I think about it) it was very important that I be with her. She was a part of me.
((((hugs))))
@MrsCreeToBe: and it's not a horrible experience at all, they'll give her something to relax her, you and she can cuddle and say goodbye for a while, the vet will come in with the final injection, and after it's administered, she'll just drift away, like a boat with a loose mooring, and you'll know she's moved on....you can request a foot print, or the ashes if you like, and you'll go home, it will seem terribly empty, but you'll know you did what you needed to for her, and that's a noble thing.
@MrsCreeToBe: i am so sorry to hear this. my son and i had a cat for 18 years so i know exactly what you are going through. i was completely torn but i just couldn't do it. i couldn't watch him die. i chose to spend some quiet time alone with my baby at home and then my fi and my son took our cat to my sil (she's a vet). i honestly have never regretted that decision. i know that it was right for me. i do still get very sad when i think of him though.
my thoughts will be with you.
I heard from someone that you should always be there when your pet gets put down because they always look for you after you leave. I'm so sorry you have to say goodbye to yours soon =(
I'm so sorry, I still cry when I think about having to put down my 17 year old dog I had my whole childhood, that was a few years ago. Like mypinkshoes, I also didn't feel I could be in the room to actually see her go. If the options were that or her being totally alone I would have sucked it up, I kind of found a middle ground though. They did do two shots like Nona99 described. I stayed for the first shot to hold and cuddle her. Then she fell asleep, and I went and had a breakdown in the lobby/waiting room while my parents and brother stayed with her for the final shot. But I know I was there for her final conscious moments, and that was enough for me.
I am so sorry to hear this, my heart goes out to you. My dog had to be put down at only 8.5 years this past February. It was devastating, and hardest thing I've ever done - but it was the kindest thing I could have done for him to ease his suffering. I took the day off of work to spend with him before we had to take him in, and did stay with him up until he was put down. It was heartbreaking to let him go, but the process was very peaceful and I took comfort in knowing he would not be suffering anymore. I am glad I stayed, and saw how easy it was for him to go, I would have always wondered what those moments were like if I hadn't been there.
I can imagine how hard that would be. I think I'd want to be in the room to hold and cuddle either of our cats if they had to be put to sleep, but it would be very difficult to go through those final moments.
Is there someone who could be in the room with you, or someone supportive to drive you home afterward? I think I would be better in that situation if someone was with me.
@Nona99: I agree!
2 years ago my buddy of 13 years was dying of cancer. He was always there for me when I needed him, so I wouldn't have dreamed of not being with him when he needed me most.
I found the thinking about him dying to be worse than the actual act. The 2 or 3 weeks before he passed I cried every day. When it actually happened, I just felt peace and confidence that I had done right by him.
The vet came to our house (car rides really upset him), and gave him something to calm him and put a catheter into his front leg. I held him and cuddled him on the couch for a while. I did my best not to cry because I didn't want him to be stressed (my cats have always seemed to be sensitive to my moods). He just cuddled me and purred, and then after a bit, I told her I was ready. She cave him the injection through the catheter, and just like that, he was gone--happy and purring in my arms. They cleaned up their supplies and garbage and left me alone with him for a while. I'm crying my eyes out typing this, but honestly, at the time I felt such peace and relief that his suffering was over, and he knew I loved him.
If you can find a vet to do it at home, i highly suggest that. You don't feel rushed. You and your buddy are in comfortable surroundings. You don't have to walk through a waiting room of people and their pets (I would have found that upsetting). Your other pets if you have them can say goodbye. The home visit cost me as much as the euthanasia (so it doubled the price) but it was really worth it to me.
When it was all done, all I could think of is that I wish I could die that way--at a time of my choosing, in the arms of my loved ones, at home and without pain.
Good luck. It's such a hard thing to deal with.
I'm sorry. I just went through this. I didn't, but my 2 (grown) kids did. I stayed with the granddaughters. :(
I promised all of mine that I will be there for their last moments. It will be the last thing I can do for them, and I owe it to them.
My husband doesn't think he can handle being in the room. I don't share his feelings, but I'm going to respect them, and I don't think any less of him for it.
I've volunteered at a vet's office for a couple of years. Whenever there's a pet whose owner is not going to be there, the vets and the vet techs do their best to comfort them in those last moments.
I made the decision to put my 17 year old fur baby down a couple years ago. It's very calm. They give them an injection before to relax them then they give the other injection. They will allow you to hold your baby or lay with them but either way they can be in your arms when they pass. I didn't want his last moments to be with strangers. I wanted him to know I was there.
I'm so very sorry you're having to go through this.
I was there when my FI's rottweiler died, he just couldn't do it. (He went through with it with his doberman a few years ago and it was hard) I cried even though it wasn't my dog. I still miss the big fella!
We were there when our Labrador Retriever was put to sleep. It was extremely painful but I looked in his eyes the whole time and he in mine. Max knowing that I was there is priceless to me. I would have hated for him to drift away wondering where his people were. He gave us years of love and loyalty and I owed him to be there.
I know how you feel. My heart goes out to you. My dog was taking seizures and the vet literally was like there is nothing else we can do. He was a lab mix, 17 years old, and I didn't watch as he put him down, my mom did.. My brother and I were at the side, then when it was over, we hugged and kissed him. I ran home crying. I missed 3 days of work.
I'm glad I didn't see the actual shot, but I'm glad I got to give him that one last hug and kiss. Maybe you can do that.
We had our cat for 14 years. He was my guy - he always slept with me, followed me around, stayed up with me when I was studying. We were very very close. I loved him very much.
I took him to the emergency vet when he suddenly had difficulty breathing and we were told that he had cancer throughout his body. He had been misdiagnosed a few months earlier with pancreatitis (and was being medicated for that). I begged the vet to do anything he could to save my guy's life - it didn't matter what it would cost, I would do anything. We had to put him down the next day.
I held him when he died. I wasn't planning on it because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. But the vet simply handed him over to me (he could probably tell that I was closest to him). To this day I count it as the worst day of my life. I can't even begin to express the heartbreak I felt as his body went limp. But I knew right then that I would have completely regretted not holding him in his last moments for the rest of my life. I also found peace in being able to ask him to wait for me.
It will be incredibly tough, my heart is going out to you <3
Im so sorry you have to go through this. I had to put my 14 year old dog down earlier this year, and as much as it was hard to stay with her it was the best thing I could have done. Me and my mum were there with her, and as previous posts say they get two shots one to make them fall asleep and then the last one. Just try to stay calm so she doesn't feel you're stressed.. It is really hard but I think you might regret it later on if you don't stay with her till the end :( hope you are going to be ok! Enjoy the time you have with her, and if you need some support after come here! Lots of hugs
Don't think of me a bad person, but I couldn't be there. I was a wreck, and thinking back I feel like I deserted her. I hope she didnt think that.
in my lifetime we have had a total of 6 cats (2 of them are still living), I was at the Vets but not in the office for the first that we had to put to sleep (Raisin), I found the next one in her favorite spot (April) and I knew she had gone, the next one (Red) was put to sleep while I was away, and Kitty passed away in my arms after I gave her a bath since she hadn't been cleaning herself. It's tough either way, you can say your goodbyes before, or hold them until It's over. It all depends what you feel you can handle. Whatever you decide, I'm sorry you have to go through this, but your little one will be in a better place and no longer suffering.
Aw man everyone's responses are making me think of "A Dog's Purpose" (a great book if you're a dog lover btw). :(
I'm so sorry about your pet, my heart goes out to you. It's really hard, but it's the right thing to do. I think you'll feel better overall if you're there to say goodbye to her.
Luckily, my cat is only 7 years old and I haven't had to experience that yet and I am dreading the day I will. I cannot imagine not being there with him though, no matter how badly it would hurt my heart.
My husband had to put down his dog about three years ago and I was there with him. Although I had only known his dog for a few years it was still very hard for me and obviously even harder for my hubby. The dog helped him through the saddness of his parent's divorce among other things. It was peaceful though. The vet came to the house and his dog was surrounded by his family (hubby, me, hubby's mom), he had a bone with peanut butter inside, and he was in his backyard. It was incredibly heartbreaking, but it was the best way to go. Especially after his years of suffering terrible arthritis and a tumor.
Best of luck. I am so sorry you have to do this and I hope you're heart will heal sooner than later.
We had to put our cat down recently. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do but I couldn't imagine not being there. My face was the last thing that he saw before he went to sleep and I think that's the way it should have been. Maybe it would have been easier for me to have not been there but I couldn't do that to him.
We've had a lot of pets. Consequently, we've had to put a lot of pets to sleep. When I was 10, we put our family dog to sleep. My mom couldn't handle being in the room, so she and my dad made the decision that I wouldn't be there either. To this day I regret not being there and resent my parents for not allowing me to choose for myself, (I don't hate my parents, just hate that particular action). I still feel bad, thinking back on it almost 20 years later, that we just took her to the vet and left her there. I don't regret the decision to euthanize her, she was in quite a bit of pain, but I do wish that we had been there with her.
I've been there with three cats and a dog since then. It's always been very peaceful, and I personally feel like you owe it to your pet to be there in their final moments. If a close human family member were dying, most of us would do our best to be there; I think we owe our animal family members the same courtesy. DH's cat was our most recent loss, and he couldn't handle being there, so I had to go instead, (and then be questioned as to whether or not I had his consent, etc, but that's another story).
I recently found out there is a place near us that offers in-home euthanasia. I had heard of such places before, but did not know there was a place in our area that would do this, or I would most definitely have made that choice for our pets.
Also, there is a local photographer that offers what she calls "Joy Sessions" for pets (and their human families) when the pet has reached the end of its life. She is very flexible with her schedule to accomodate last minute appointments, and offers a reduced rate for Joy Sessions (as opposed to normal pet photography sessions) so owners can have high-quality keepsake photos of their pet. I don't know where you live, but you could see if a photographer near you does something similiar. At the very least, I would recommend taking pictures of her yourself, and preferably some with you and other important family members.
So sorry you are going through this! It's never easy, even when you know with 100% certainty that you are making the right decision.
My wonderful kitten, Toby, was diagnosed with FIP. He didn't even live to a year old. He was suffering so much and had to be put down. I was there holding him and I kept eye contact with my little baby the entire time. It was the most painful experience of my life but I needed to be there for him. I won't tell you it's easy, but I felt very strongly about being that last thing he saw before he passed. I used to tell him that he was the best cat that ever was, is, or will be. I loved him so much...and now I'm crying. :/
I want to thank everyone for the kind words and stories - i know it's not easy to revisit such painful times in your lives.
Sad update...had to put my little baby to sleep tonight. I don't know that I made the right choice. The vet said her body was shutting down and I could tell she wasn't herself - today and last night she was disoriented, hasn't eaten in 4 days, can't drink water, and couldn't get comfortable enough to fall asleep.
I was with her from start to finish, had her wrapped in a blanket and cuddled her the entire time. When it was over, the vet let me stay in the room alone with her, talking and petting her. I told her how much I loved her and what a good dog she was and how much I'd miss her. I was hysterical through the entire process but afterward I felt peaceful and calm holding her, until the vet came to take her away.
I can't get the thoughts out of my head that she's alone, lying in some cold dark room. We made the decision to cremate her but I want to throw up thinking about doing that to her. I feel so empty and sick to my stomach. My house is just not the same with her not in it. I've been crying for hours. I feel like I failed her. I was supposed to protect her and keep her safe and comforted and I didn't. I let her get sick and suffer and now she's gone.
@MrsCreeToBe: Aww, so sorry.
Yes, you made the right choice.
You didn't fail her, you gave her the best gift she could ever have--a peaceful transition and an end to her suffering surrounded by your love.
The Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
My family's first dog, we were all there as he died of what I guess was a heart attack. It was so sad. We knew he wasn't doing well that morning, my mom called the vet, and before we knew it, he was dying on the dining room floor. It was really sad.
When my bird died, I was away on vacation, and my poor neighbor who was watching the bird had to have it euthanized suddenly while we were out of town (long story). That must have been really traumatic for my neighbor.
@MrsCreeToBe: So sorry to hear this. I literally have tears in my eyes while typing. Just know that the end doesnt sum up your life with her. You had a lifetime of love and fun and wonderful memories. I always feel such gratitude that these little creatures chose to spend their life with us. They teach us so much. Find a way to honor her in a way that feels good to you. I had a little ceremony for my cat when she passed, just me and my fiance. And I read a letter that I wrote to her. It really helped, though I sobbed uncontrollably. It will take time, but it will start to get easier.
I was away when my last pet passed away. He was only 7 years old. It is a mystery if it was from a snake bite or kids next door feeding him chocolate. Either way I was heartbroken when I heard he died.
I can't even read this thread because I'm so scared for my 21 year old cat. Had him for 18 years of his life now. He was always my best friend. Some day within the next few years the inevitable will happen. He's my baby boy. Can't imagine life without him.
I've always been with my pets and I don't plan on that ever changing. Personally I can't imagine NOT being there for my pet. For an animal I can imagine it's terrifying. They are confused, in an unfamiliar place, and have no idea that they will never see your face again. I would absolutely never leave my animal when they needed me the most.
Sorry to hear that, at least she won't suffer.
Personally, I think I would be there. Of course I can't know for sure, because I haven't been in that situation, but i'd like to think i'd be able to. As mentioned below, FH's bunny got mixo once (no vaccine here) and she had to be put down, I was there for that. It wasn't hard for me, because I was not overly attached to her and it was clear it HAD to happen, but FH didn't want to be there. Animals don't really think the way we do though, they aren't thinking 'Wth? She left me!' To them it's just another trip to the vets, but i'd know. I think they'd want you there, but they'd normally want to be near you. They don't know what's about to happen. It would be incredibly hard, I think i'd be a crying heap, and try to hold it together until they'd gone, but after that i'm pretty sure i'd regress to the age of 5, kick, scream, cry, sit with them until someone dragged me away, I imagine it'd be very difficult, to me my animals (well, my horses specifically) are like children.
The only animals that have died in my care (since i've been an adult, there were some fish when I was a kid, and maybe some guinea pigs?) were some rabbits and my dog. One rabbit was fine the night before and then just died by the morning, one was old and the heat got to him during summer (i feel horrible for that one, he was 8 and I feel like I could have prevented it), one died of mixo and there is no vaccine here to prevent it (which is ridiculous), and a dog somehow managed to break the hutch of another and then the rabbit was gone (i so hope that she ran away). I had one dog die too, she was 13 years old and was my childhood best friend. I gave her and my other dog some chicken necks on christmas morning, and gave FH's dog a bone. Apparently they fought over it. I came home on christmas afternoon to find my little pup had been mauled and had died in the only part of the yard that stuck out, like she'd been trying to get as close to where I was (500 meters away in that direction) as she could. I wish i'd never left them alone with a bone, that was SO stupid of me. I had figured that because she was full there would be no problem. I will never forgive myself for that and I wish I could have had her slip away peacefully with me cuddling her.
Now i'm crying ;(
Oh I'm so sorry :(
2 years was getting ready for a funeral, and I heard a car screech out the front. I looked out my window and thought I'd go out incase there was a car accident. When I got there I saw my beautiful labrador, Monty, stuck under the car. We had workers at my house that had left the back gate open, and I frantically ran screaming for them to help lift the car off him. I got a blanket and wrapped him in it when they eventually got him out, and he was looking at me, panting heavily but with no open wounds and he didn't appear to be in pain.
I had to go to the funeral so my dad took him to the vet. I kissed him goodbye and gave him a long cuddle. During the funeral I turned around and saw my parents walking into the church. I looked at my dad and he avoided my gaze, and then I knew that he had died. I felt so horrible, sitting in the church at my friends funeral, struggling to breathe and crying because of the combined grief of losing darling Monty and my friend.
A few days later the lady who hit him stopped by to see how he was. I told her that he was fine, just a sore paw as I didn't want her to feel guilty or suffer from any grief.
Still makes me teary thinking about him. I'll always miss him.
I am so sorry :(
We had a dog who died at the beginning of 2006. Someone was house sitting as we were on a beach holiday for three weeks, she called saying our dog was really sick, my dad and I decided to drive back home to get there, we had another dog too (the one who is the oldest now), but while we were driving back the house sitter called my mum and sister saying that our dog had passed away. They didn't call us because we were driving, and when we got there, I ran to my dog, she was dead, I held her and cried and cried for a very long time. I still remember seeing her lying there, and seeing my dad carry her body to the car to take to RSPCA. We buried her collar in our yard :(
I think it would be a good idea to be there when she passes, just so she has someone close to her there to comfort her, I know it will be very very hard for you, but it will be a great comfort to your furbaby having you there.
@theone99: Omg I'm so sorry 
Did you ever find out what happened to him from the vet?
@PinkMermaid: Thank you. The vet said that he suffered massive internal injuries, and because he was 10 the chance of recovery and high level of pain would be too unfair for him :( this post made me go and look back through some photos of him & now I'm here balling my eyes out. Here's a picture of him :)
@theone99: Poor guy... :( That is just heartbreaking and so awful. He was one gorgeous/adorable looking dog though..my goodness those gorgeous brown eyes are making mine water!
@PinkMermaid: He had a wonderful life, so that gives me some comfort :). It took me a LONG time to forgive the builders who left the gate open. I now have an unhealthy obsession with worrying about the doors/gates so that my other dog doesn't get out.
That picture is his sooky face, he was trying for ages to carry that long stick around but he kept bumping into things, so this is his 'I give up' face :)
You must log in to post.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| AlwaysSunny | 32 |
| This Time Round | 13 |
| renierose | 13 |
| jesssamesssa | 12 |
| MsBeer | 11 |
| littlebeanpole | 11 |
| lightmist | 10 |
| Cyri | 10 |
| kris325 | 10 |
| mvg120 | 10 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Omgbunnies | 3 |
| MrsPanda99 | 2 |
| JsDragonfly | 1 |
| Scorpio88 | 1 |
| mrs.stormylove | 1 |
| Nic01 | 1 |
| EmeraldTiger | 1 |
| Laurengrapes | 1 |
| princessggg | 1 |
| KJA00 | 1 |
