The vet just told us we should put my little one down in the next few days and I feel like I’m slowly dying myself. I’ve had her for 15 years.
I don’t know if I should be there when it happens. Part of me is so scared and thinks it will be agony watching her pass. Another part of me is afraid I’ll feel guilt and regret the rest of my life if I’m not holding her.
I’ve always seen my pets to clearing when the time comes, I figure if I was dying under a tree somewhere, they’d stay with me. It’s hard, and sad, but it’s part of the deal.
So sorry to hear you have to go through this. We’ve been there for both our dogs, but they died naturally, and I’m so glad we were. I think I would have regretted not being there for them. It will be heartbreaking to be there but I think it would be worse if you regretted not being there.
@MrsCreeToBe: I’m so sorry about your pet.
I went through this last year. My 17 year old cat (I had her since she was 6 weeks old) got very sick and had to be put to sleep. I held her in my arms as she died. It was very peaceful. The vet gave her a shot and she peacefully passed away in my arms. Even though it was extremely difficult (I’m crying now as I think about it) it was very important that I be with her. She was a part of me.
@MrsCreeToBe: and it’s not a horrible experience at all, they’ll give her something to relax her, you and she can cuddle and say goodbye for a while, the vet will come in with the final injection, and after it’s administered, she’ll just drift away, like a boat with a loose mooring, and you’ll know she’s moved on….you can request a foot print, or the ashes if you like, and you’ll go home, it will seem terribly empty, but you’ll know you did what you needed to for her, and that’s a noble thing.
@MrsCreeToBe: i am so sorry to hear this. my son and i had a cat for 18 years so i know exactly what you are going through. i was completely torn but i just couldn’t do it. i couldn’t watch him die. i chose to spend some quiet time alone with my baby at home and then my fi and my son took our cat to my sil (she’s a vet). i honestly have never regretted that decision. i know that it was right for me. i do still get very sad when i think of him though.
my thoughts will be with you.
I heard from someone that you should always be there when your pet gets put down because they always look for you after you leave. I’m so sorry you have to say goodbye to yours soon =(
I’m so sorry, I still cry when I think about having to put down my 17 year old dog I had my whole childhood, that was a few years ago. Like mypinkshoes, I also didn’t feel I could be in the room to actually see her go. If the options were that or her being totally alone I would have sucked it up, I kind of found a middle ground though. They did do two shots like Nona99 described. I stayed for the first shot to hold and cuddle her. Then she fell asleep, and I went and had a breakdown in the lobby/waiting room while my parents and brother stayed with her for the final shot. But I know I was there for her final conscious moments, and that was enough for me.
I am so sorry to hear this, my heart goes out to you. My dog had to be put down at only 8.5 years this past February. It was devastating, and hardest thing I’ve ever done – but it was the kindest thing I could have done for him to ease his suffering. I took the day off of work to spend with him before we had to take him in, and did stay with him up until he was put down. It was heartbreaking to let him go, but the process was very peaceful and I took comfort in knowing he would not be suffering anymore. I am glad I stayed, and saw how easy it was for him to go, I would have always wondered what those moments were like if I hadn’t been there.
I can imagine how hard that would be. I think I’d want to be in the room to hold and cuddle either of our cats if they had to be put to sleep, but it would be very difficult to go through those final moments.
Is there someone who could be in the room with you, or someone supportive to drive you home afterward? I think I would be better in that situation if someone was with me.
@Nona99: I agree!
2 years ago my buddy of 13 years was dying of cancer. He was always there for me when I needed him, so I wouldn’t have dreamed of not being with him when he needed me most.
I found the thinking about him dying to be worse than the actual act. The 2 or 3 weeks before he passed I cried every day. When it actually happened, I just felt peace and confidence that I had done right by him.
The vet came to our house (car rides really upset him), and gave him something to calm him and put a catheter into his front leg. I held him and cuddled him on the couch for a while. I did my best not to cry because I didn’t want him to be stressed (my cats have always seemed to be sensitive to my moods). He just cuddled me and purred, and then after a bit, I told her I was ready. She cave him the injection through the catheter, and just like that, he was gone–happy and purring in my arms. They cleaned up their supplies and garbage and left me alone with him for a while. I’m crying my eyes out typing this, but honestly, at the time I felt such peace and relief that his suffering was over, and he knew I loved him.
If you can find a vet to do it at home, i highly suggest that. You don’t feel rushed. You and your buddy are in comfortable surroundings. You don’t have to walk through a waiting room of people and their pets (I would have found that upsetting). Your other pets if you have them can say goodbye. The home visit cost me as much as the euthanasia (so it doubled the price) but it was really worth it to me.
When it was all done, all I could think of is that I wish I could die that way–at a time of my choosing, in the arms of my loved ones, at home and without pain.
Good luck. It’s such a hard thing to deal with.
I’m sorry. I just went through this. I didn’t, but my 2 (grown) kids did. I stayed with the granddaughters. :(
I promised all of mine that I will be there for their last moments. It will be the last thing I can do for them, and I owe it to them.
My husband doesn’t think he can handle being in the room. I don’t share his feelings, but I’m going to respect them, and I don’t think any less of him for it.
I’ve volunteered at a vet’s office for a couple of years. Whenever there’s a pet whose owner is not going to be there, the vets and the vet techs do their best to comfort them in those last moments.
I made the decision to put my 17 year old fur baby down a couple years ago. It’s very calm. They give them an injection before to relax them then they give the other injection. They will allow you to hold your baby or lay with them but either way they can be in your arms when they pass. I didn’t want his last moments to be with strangers. I wanted him to know I was there.
I’m so very sorry you’re having to go through this.
I was there when my FI’s rottweiler died, he just couldn’t do it. (He went through with it with his doberman a few years ago and it was hard) I cried even though it wasn’t my dog. I still miss the big fella!