Post # 1
Waiting bees, let’s rant together! What’s irritating you the most right now about being ringless?
So after my bf’s last student loan payment went down in July, he promised that all of his extra money was going to my ring fund.
Dear bf, however, spends hours every single night scouring the internet, ebay, online stores for this camera (we’ll call it a camera because it would be very recognizable if I said what it actually was). This camera costs about $3K and is pretty unnecessary. He will use it a lot, but he already has an older version of the same thing and it’s just a hobby.
At first I said, “yes, yes go ahead and buy your camera.” But I am getting more and more frustrated daily with the effort and time he spends looking for this thing. I have even checked out his internet browser history to make sure he’s not really looking at engagement rings, because surely this camera couldn’t take THAT long to find and pay for?! And I have to listen to him talk about it too ad nauseum (makes, models, fits, colors….). And I bite my tongue nightly when all I want to do is talk about weddings, but am trying patiently to follow Mr. Bee’s plan!
So I’m upset for 2 reasons:
1) Umm I want the engagement ring to be bought before camera. I mean which is more important?!!
2) I completely doubt he’ll spend as much time researching my engagement ring as he does this stupid camera.
3) Really really don’t want to hear any more about it
And then I realize that I’m jealous of a stupid CAMERA.
What’s irritating you the most right now about being ringless?
Post # 3
Probably the mystery of it all. He keeps alluding to the fact that “it will happen sooner than I think” and when I say I dont want to move in together until I am engaged (and we are seriously looking at houses) and he says “don’t worry about that–I’ll handle it,” but then at the same time he says things that make me think it is going to be a little longer before he does it. IT’S SO FRUSTRATING!!!
It’s also frustrating going to other ppl’s weddings, hearing about engagements, and even watching my coveted wedding shows now because I am just so at that point!
Also, I just want to plan it all. We are getting closer to 2011, which is the year I want (and he knows I want) to get married in, but there is still a lot of planning to do! And then there are all the friends and family asking “When is it going to happen?” WHen, when WHEN!??! I dont know! ARGHH!
Post # 4
The fact that we are planning a family cruise in June and I’m just sitting here like “DUDE, if we are having a destination wedding, we need to tell ppl b/c they’ll have to save up money and spending it here is gonna make it hard.”
Post # 5
I guess I’m jealous of all of the people I know who recently became engaged. Three months ago, no one I knew was engaged. Then my sister got engaged and that started a whole slew of people I know getting engaged left right and center! At least twice a week since then I’ve heard of another couple getting engaged! I’ve been waiting for such a long time and it hurts to see so many people getting engaged. I just want a piece of that happiness, but I still have at least 5 more months to wait before it’s my turn *sigh*. I am so excited to start planning and being able to talk to people about getting married! Also, it kind of sucks to be the last couple to get engaged, especially when you’ve been dating the longest. >_O;
Also, I hate how helpless I feel. I feel like my whole life is on hold right now. My SO wants to wait two more months before I move in with him permanently. I started dieting and trying to lose a bit of weight, but I don’t want to join a gym until after I move, I can’t join any new choirs since the one I was in disbanded for the same reason… and I have no say about when we’re going to get engaged. I just feel like my whole life is waiting on him right now. It’s very frustrating.
Post # 6
Waiting to get vendors and really get going on planning! We have already agreed to get married, he’s talked to my parents, my friends know it will happen soon, I know he’s been looking at diamonds and settings- yet I still have to wait. I am a planner and a worrier so I wish I could have a venue and a photographer locked down (and a date, of course!). Then I could relax. Since he’ll be asking in the next couple months I don’t know if we’ll be able to have a summer 2011 wedding or have to wait till 2012. I just want to know!
Post # 7
@MissBuffalo: I’m with you on the spending. BF found a sofa on sale that he’s wanted for a while, which I thought was alright. Then he went on to explain that if we got the sofa he wanted to rearrange the room. And if we rearrange the living room we’d “need” a new TV light enought to be wall-mounted. I kind of gave him a look as he was explaining it all and he was like, “I just think of a lot of different scenarios.” I felt like saying, “Yah, I do too, but about our engagement and wedding but apparently the living room has top priority now.” Of course I didn’t say anythign close to that since it’d be exaggerating and twisting his words, but I felt frustrated that engagement is always on my mind and not his.
Post # 8
@PinkBubbleGum: I totally feel you on this–I’m really worried about it too. The main things I really need to secure are the church and the photographer–both are probably in higher demand (Church is gorgeous and photographer takes amazing photos) so if I could just secure those 2 things I wouldn’t worry so much!
Post # 9
Having absolutely no timeline.
My SO has said that it will take “a long time” for him to save up for a ring (despite the fact that I’ve told him that I would rather be married to him sooner with a small ring/cz/moissanite/other stone/no ring), and refuses to reveal if he has any timeline in mind. I mean, I can’t even get him to tell me even a basic estimate on a year for when we’ll be engaged or married. BUT — he talks about it all the time, bringing it up a lot, and assures me almost daily that he wants to marry me and fully intends to do so. And he frequently does things that make me suspect he’s planning to propose sooner than “a long time” away, but he tries so hard to keep it all a secret that I can never get the facts on my leads (unless I wanted to be unscrupulous and check his bank account or listen in to conversations that I’m not privy to, etc.).
I know he’s committed to me and I feel like he might propose as soon as 1-6 months from now, but from the sound of it, it’ll be at least 6 months to a year before he’d propose, at the earliest. So my heart and my head guess different things, and I have nothing to go on to put either to rest.
Post # 10
“we’ll call it a camera because it would be very recognizable if I said what it actually was” hmmm… I wonder what it could be…such mystery LOL
I don’t think I’m really irritated at all. We’ve been together for a few years, I don’t want a ring or a diamond. While we know we will get married, it just isn’t “official”. I guess I’m just not into details, just as long as it’s on the beach and his parents & brother and my mom and grandmother are there. I don’t care if they come in jean cut-offs. We’ve already called off the Hawaiian cruise because of money issues.
I mean it would be nice for him to do this big lovey-dovey proposal but I don’t it will happen and I won’t be mad if it doesn’t.
Post # 11
The fact that he feels like we’re already married. I think he sometimes feels like we don’t need an actual piece of paper (marriage license), a ring, proposal, and wedding to “prove” our love and commitment to each other. Well, I do!!!! Aarrgghhh, lol!
Post # 12
What bothers me the most is the outside pressure. For some reason people think it is ok to ask us every time we see them if I have a ring yet. We both play along, but it kinda hurts and isn’t helping me keep my mind off of it. Then again neither is being on here, but I love it way too much to stop
Post # 13
The NOT KNOWING… being completely blind to every aspect of it. I hate it.
I am kind of a nosey person, I like knowing other’s people’s secrets and business. However, I am absolutely not a jabbermouth. I keep it to myself. I just like knowing, that’s it.
Post # 14
Post # 15
What annoys me the most is that he talks about it ALL THE TIME. Not the engagement but just us being married, our life together, what we are going to do to his house (we are going to renovate it room by room), our kids, getting a dog etc etc etc…..always saying he cant wait to spend his life with me. And so I think…well then WHY ARE YOU WAITING! To me if i cant wait, then i dont wait..lol. So his jabber keeps it constantly on my mind, which gets me excited and expectant and then i realize that it could very well be spring before he proposes!!
That and trying not to bring it up and ask questions. He told me he knows when he is going to do it!! Ive already told him once that i cant stand talking about it every day knowing its not happening anytime soon, which he disagrees with bc to him a year is soon and to me soon is next month maybe even next week!
I dont see the point in dragging it out! I want it to be special and a surprise, i just dont want it to be 7 months from now!
Post # 16
@artichokey:I second that emotion! lol, love it!
What really bugs me, and I guess it’s a woman thing vs a man thing, idk, but in my opinion, when you know (he/she’s the one) you KNOW, and there’s no sense in waiting. To me, the only reason to wait is if you’re unsure, and I think THAT is what really scares the pants off me, and I’ve even told him as much. (for the record, he said I had nothing to worry about b/c he isn’t going anywhere) I guess guys just don’t understand that aspect of it.
I don’t need, or want to for that matter, to know the exact day it’s gonna happen, ’cause I truly want for it to be a surprise, but if I could just get a time frame from him! Grrrrr! Six months? A year? (God, I hope it’s not that long) But something for goodness sakes, anything.
To quote fellow bee artichokey (’cause I love it so much) WWWWWWHHHHHHEEEEEENNNNN?!?!?!