Post # 1
Need some impartial advice here regarding my bridesmaids!
Long story short, Im getting married on October 25th this year..i have four bridesmaids-my OH’s two cousins and my two sisters.. all was well when the Bridemaids had their dress fitting back in November and we ordered the dresses…
Skip forward a couple of months and i now have 2 pregnant bridesmaids. One is due August this year (I can cope with this as im sure she will fit back into her dress etc…) But the other bridesmaid (my sister) is due October 8th..
I have been thinking about dropping my sister from being a bridesmaid since she told me – however, she keeps insisting that she will be fine etc..
Doing some simple calculations, If she is due October 8th – then she will potentially have a 3 week old to 3 day old baby to look after at the wedding, as well as the nightmare of fitting back into her dress.
Im concerned for her wellbeing along with my own stress levels on the day – i cant help thinking that this will be a downer on my day if my sister is constantly moaning that she is tired etc (she has prior for this btw)
But, if i drop her – she will not take it well and will most likely spoil my day anyway!
Help! Im stuck between a rock and hard place here.
Post # 3
My advice is to not drop her. The worst case scenario if you don’t drop her is that she will turn up, not fit into her dress, and not be a bridesmaid, or that she will have to sneak out of the ceremony to care for her baby. Ether way, she will probably make a decision once the baby is born. If the BM dress is already bought, I think you have nothing to lose by just waiting out and thinking “not my problem”.
Post # 4
@Bex20285: i say dont drop her. if she does not fit in her dress thats not your fault and you could always have 2 groomsmen walk the one BM down the isle ; ) if she does fit in her dress then thats awesome BUT do not let this ruin your big day its not the end of the world. your going to be so busy with your new husband on your day you are not going to even have time to hear her Woos…. calm down and relax breath!!! it will all work out caz in the end you got your husband ; ) and thats what the day is about the 2 of you becoming one.
Post # 6
@Bex20285: I say don’t drop her. You will regret it later. If she’s got a brand new baby, and has to boogie out of the reception right after the ceremony, then so be it, but she needs to be a part of your day if she’s that important to you. As for the dress worry, let her figure that out. That isn’t something you need to stress about, she’s already got plenty on her mind, too.
Remember, pregnancy/new baby is JUST AS BIG of a life event as getting married is, so although your wedding is HUGE for you, the baby is HUGE for her. You don’t want to come off as selfish, and trust, with all those hormones, she’ll know good and well what she needs to do about the dress.
Post # 7
Don’t drop her. Let her make the decision as to whether she feels comfortable or not.
Post # 8
I think this is one of the situations where you’ll just have to wing it. If, after having a baby, your sister fits into her dress and wants to be a bridesmaid, then that’s great! If not, then that’s her problem. No one will care if she chooses not to be a bridesmaid at the last minute, but you could cop a bit of flack if you basically force her to step down.
Post # 9
You can always find a maternity dress in the right colour 🙂
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
Plan for her to be in it, then if she doesn’t fit or really feels like she can’t handle it, she can drop out.
In my personal experience of seriously offending my sister/BM, DO NOT SUGGEST THIS TO HER! Let her make up her own mind.
Post # 11
You’re not qualified to tell her how she feels or how she will feel.
Post # 12
I would not kick my sister out of the wedding party for any reason, especially not for having a child. She is confident she’ll be able to support you the day of, and that’s the role of a bridesmaid. She may have to sneak out to nurse/change/comfort the baby, but as long as someone else can handle that for your 20-30 minute ceremony, you’ll be fine.
Post # 13
Keep her! My mum’s maid of honour gave birth less than 2 weeks before the wedding and it was fine.