What a Thanksgiving we had…

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@jessyrez:  I understand why you are upsted, and I am sorry you are having a hard time with your family… it sucks!

You could have a talk with your husband about how to deal with this in the future, so you both don’t get super upset the next time. Like a strategy. 

You can’t change the way other parents parent (?, lol) their children. But if it is affecting yours you sure have a say on the matter. 

I hope everything goes well, maybe your husband will feel better if he has a calm talk with his family. Maybe he needs to say he is sorry for expressing the way he did (though he had the right to, he was desperated), but that he needs something to be done or he won’t be able to have your daughter in the same room as that kid anymore.

Hugs for you!

Post # 4
1840 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@jessyrez:  what kind of a 13 year old picks on a 5 year old? Something is wrong with that kid. You guys did the right thing by leaving when the family refused to discipline him. I think that your husband needs to communicate to his family that this is what you guys will do every time the kid harasses your daughter – you will not stand for it, but pick up and leave. If they want to spend time with you, they need to make their home a safe environment for your daughter. 

Post # 7
397 posts
Helper bee



I’m really sorry you are going through that. I know how it is, with my younger cousins for example. The boy is 15 and the girl is 7….they aren’t sibling, just cousins. And they all play together in a group with the others, but for some reason the 15 yr old always picks on the 7 yr old girl and hits her hard in the head with a couch cushion, and stupid things like that.


She obviously comes crying to her mom, who gets angry and goes and yells at the 15 yrs old and tells his parents what happened. And his parents just brush it off…don’t reprimand him or anything. Some parents are just dense. They get tired of dealing with their bratty kids and just lose that “care” part of their brain.


Maybe you two could call your BIL up and ask to have a talk….just go over the things that are bothering you and tell him that you don’t want this to cause a family rift. See what he says…


Post # 10
5909 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@jessyrez:  I am so sorry that this happened!  You honestly do not have to put up with it, and shouldn’t for the sake of your daughter.  I don’t care what kind of challenges a child has, they can all be expected to be courteous and kind.  And if the parents are asleep at the wheel, that’s their problem, children that misbehave aren’t tolerated if I’m around and that’s just how it works.

The two of you certainly don’t need the approval of your in laws or the parents, if I had seen a child befouling the holiday meal of someone else, I would have hauled the kid outside, dumped them on the back stoop and shut the door.  Gotten a fresh plate of food for my child, moved everyone to the adult table and brought the offending one in to eat by themselves….if you’re going to behave like an animal, you eat alone.  

You aren’t out of line, and in my opinion, restrained yourselves with great poise….don’t let it get to you.

Post # 12
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Meh. I have a sister and 3 brothers. It happens. Kids pick on each other, they tease each other, and adults trying to get involved usually makes it worse. It’s not like he punched her or did any serious damage. No name calling, no hitting, just being annoying. 

I guess I’m really not seeing the big deal. Certainly not enough to ruin a family over and lose a sibling. I don’t think there is a blood relation here either. Some people will say that doesn’t matter but my experience shows me it usually does. 

When my brothers annoyed me, I dealt with it myself. Yes, even at the age of 5. It made me tough! 

Post # 14
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@jessyrez:  I just meant it is your daughter, not your husband’s. A lot of time with step-kids, it can take awhile for blood relatives (kids) to accept. I’ve heard lots of stories of my friends terrorizing their step-siblings. They got over it and are friends now but the fighting can be worse at first. 

My brothers did WAY WORSE things to me as kids and we are all the best of friends now. Fake bugs in my bed? Check. Ripping my dolls heads off? Check. Wrestling? Check. It happens. My parents weren’t constantly fussed about it. We worked through it. 

Post # 15
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

It strikes me as more like bad manners than bullying… attention seeking behaviour. The boy is unable to relate to kids his own age, so he messes with younger kids. The problem is that it is not your job to teach him manners!

I wouldn’t be very impressed though. He’s too old for that nonsense and will have problems in his life if he continues to act like this.

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