Post # 1
My title sounds really mean!! haha!
We are having a wedding cake (3 tiers – mixed flavors – something for everyone) but I’ve been attracted to cupcakes (I’ve been drooling just looking at the company’s website) – but I like the traditionalism of the big cake – and anyway it’s ordered – and cupcakes are pricey – very pricey!
So we though if we splash out on some very posh and exclusive cupcakes and then give them to the people who’ve really helped with the wedding – my mum and my nan – will have made most of the wedding buffet, my bridesmaids – who’ve put up with me ,the best man who’s helped my FI with all his nerves, my FI’s parents who’ve finely come round and been supportive, and loads of other people who’ve helped.
but is this a bad idea – is it going to be awkward for both us and other guests
we do plan on buying 2 or so extra’s just incase someone else crops up
we want to but – is this just asking for trouble
Post # 3
I think its rude to only let some guests have cupcakes and exclude everyone else. If the cupcakes are a thank you present and they are wrapped and meant to be eaten at home, that’s one thing. But if you intend to display them and be part of the dessert course, that is something else.
Post # 4
Are you having a RD? Could you do them then?
Post # 5
@texasmeredith: haha – no we weren’t intending to put them on the table with a big sign saying “for special people only” that would be rude! we were going to hand them out at the speech’s, wrapped up, just as a little thank you, I’m doing a little thank you speech so during that I’ll just say, “mum & co. just a very small token of our gratitude for all the time and hard work you’ve put in!” or something similar –
@iswimibikeirun: what’s a RD?
Post # 6
I agree. I’d give them to them the day before at the rehersal dinner. It would be a nice dessert since that’s the “core group” of people you want to give them to. Why do something that’s awkward at the wedding? Not to mention it’ll be more appreciated at a time when there isn’t cake available.
Post # 7
RD = Reherasal Dinner.
It sounded like you wanted to honor special people and those might be the same as the people you’d have at your RD.
I did have one special cupcake that I gave out at my wedding. It was my cousin’s birthday and the 30th anniversary of my grandfather’s death. I remembered my cousin didn’t have a first birthday celebration and he was sharing his day with us. My aunt (his mom) was really touched.
Post # 8
I agree with the above posters – fantastic idea, just don’t hand them out at the reception. Do it at the RD, before the ceremony, etc. I think this would be an awesome thank you gift!
Post # 9
ahh I see rehearsal dinner – we’re not having one … or a rehearsal service … so it’ll either be wedding – or no cupcakes! And I think I’d rather do cupcakes! I was just worried that it’d upset people. do you think people would be upset!?
Post # 10
As long as it is boxed and you don’t have a wedding that has 10 guests and you give it to 9 helpful people, I think you will be ok. (note this applies to any amount of guest where you are thanking a large proportion of them)
Post # 12
Another bride posted a similar issue about wanting to serve champagne only to herself and her wedding party since it was too expensive to serve to everyone.
I think both the champagne and cupcake ideas are rude and you shouldn’t do it. I see how you are trying to be nice and honor people with something you think is a great gift, but other guests will see it and wonder where their cupcake is. It’s one thing if it’s a bracelet or a flask, you can’t serve special food to only a select vip group of people.
However, I told the champagne bride that I thought if only she and her husband were served champagne that would be fine. Because who could ever fault the bride and groom for getting something extra at their reception? But the second you are going to give it to 1 guest, you have to provide it to everyone.
Post # 13
@FreeRangeMom: aww I feel bad now!! 🙁
@heather25: No our wedding is around 200 strong – so that’s not an issue!
@Circus Peanut: really not the reception? 🙁 but we could hand them out privately between the ceremony and the reception – in the UK there is usually a 3 or 4 hour break between the two events!
Is that a better idea!
Post # 14
I don’t necessarily think I would be upset, but I would find it rude. I think that’s why rehearsal dinners are where people give gifts – because it’s not polite to be giving gifts to some while excluding the majority of your guests at the reception itself. Since you aren’t doing a RD, maybe you can do a brunch later on after the wedding to honor the people who helped you and give them their thank you cupcakes at that point.
Post # 15
@moderndaisy: just to clarify the idea would be to hand them out with the speech – so saying – ” thank you Mum for helping with all the cooking and for calming my nerves so here is your cupcake.” – no just handing them out and not mentioning it to anyone. That would be really rude!
Post # 16
There’s nothing rude whatsoever about handing out a wrapped token of your appreciation during a thank you speech. As a guest I would not be upset at all as I just showed up instead of put hard work into making the wedding happen like the recipients of the tokens. I’m still getting cake so whatever.
Complainers will always complain about something. I think it’s sweet!