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To who? To the bride and groom or to the guests? Depending on the view point it will be different.
As a guest I only really care about the food and the bar and the people
As the bride I cared about a lot more. I cared about my dress, my vows, the first dance song, photography basically I cared about all the details- but only to a degree. I was OK haveing smaller centerpieces to cut the budget.
The most important thing you do that day is get married. Nothing else really matters at the end of the day. :) My Fi reminds me that when he needs to reel me in from something wedding-related that stresses me out.
Aside from being married, we're focused on another thing that we consider important for the day though, which is to entertain our guests. More than pretty decorations and lighting, we want them to have a nice time.
I agree with the PP that what matters will depend on the persons point of view. We were planning a large, expensive wedding, then my FIL got sick. His sickness put a lot of the planning in perspective. We chose to have a smaller, intimate wedding (35 guests) that was more true to our hopes and dreams and most importantly that could me moved up if necessary. As a bride the things that mattered to me include: Short, simple ceremony, location (golf course that we met and got engaged at), photography, and great food and drinks. I did not get too hung up on the centerpieces, invitations, cake, flowers, shoes, etc. bc those were things that did not really matter as much to me. Just be true to you and your fiance and whatever you do will be perfect!
If you find things that you don't care as much for, give those jobs to your friends and family. They will be thrilled to help! I had my mom pick out our cake and flowers entirely and my sister chose the BM dresses and shoes. I was extremely picky with the food, ceremony as a whole, and the photography. Everything else seemed to fall into place!
Good for you! I agree, just because you aren't putting a lot of money into your wedding, that doesn't mean that it won't be incredible and special! :)
I got engaged in May and am getting married 8/17/2012 with the reception to follow in another state 8/25/2012.
I just really started cracking down on planning the past couple of weeks... so I'm taking a little longer to plan. BUT... I am doing some cost saving things that may help you out! :)
Have you done invites yet? I know a lot of people who are now resorting to e-vites to save money and to be unique. Although I have created a wedding website with tons of cool stuff (and my guests can RSVP ON THE SITE!!!), I am still sending invites. I am making my own, but it will be a long project. I am doing them totally from scratch. However, my friend Katie did hers from the DIY kits.. she purchased hers at Office Max and just ordered a $4 spool of personalized ribbon that included their names and wedding date... she tied this on to the invite to jazz it up a bit.
I cut out the open bar for the reception venue. Open bar-=$3500... 2 kegs of beer= $360. Easy choice... and the cash option is still available (mix drinks $4). And, because I'm a sales manager and know how the game works, I talked the country club into dropping the room rental fee to $250 for a Saturday night... I know, unreal right!? :) We found a place that doesn't need to have the chairs decorated (they look really nice and are very comfy too) and also that includes all linens (including overlays and cloth napkins in the colors of my choosing) in the cost. They wouldn't let us cater from outside unfortunately, but cut us another decent deal on the food (doing a polish style buffet dinner).
I am making all the decorations, signage, table numbers, EVERYTHING on my own. You can find some awesome materials and play around with Microsoft Publisher to create something cute and classy.
We aren't doing any fresh flower bouquets for centerpieces... only tree branches with antique chandelier prisms I've found at antique shops, yard sales, secondhand sites, etc... and tiny little "lanterns" with flameless tealights. This saves A BUNCH! We are borrowing 2' tall cylindar vases from my aunt (she has them leftover from my cousin's wedding) to place the branches in... at the base we are doing white river rocks (inexpensive) and white reindeer moss (also inexpensive). We will do a few crystal strands on each branch, too. We will have dark orange preserved lily petals scattered around the vases.
I think lots of people forget that simplistic can be uber classy and beautiful! Plus, I love having my hands in this so much! I love making my vision a reality. My vision has completely changed, of course (I wanted this $2500 rental cost beach house with floor to ceiling windows and a carousel right on the lake)..
Point is... whatever you want is what you should do. You can be really creative without dropping a ton of cash. I'm sure everything will be awesome. It sounds like you already have a sweet and memorable day coming together. Please post pics of it all so we can see how everything turns out!
And of course, let us know if there are any other questions you have or things you need opinions on. I have been meeting lots of super supportive and amazing women here! I can tell you that this is a great place to come when you're stuck on something! :)
It depends on who you're asking. To the guests... good food and open bar. lol
As for the couple, it varies. We had a limited budget, so we had to pick which elements we wanted to spend on. For us, we chose good food, a cool venue and awesome photographers. Everything else took a backseat. I got my dress half off, I made my jewelry, we used less expensive, in-season flowers, we DIYed our invites and escort cards and skipped menus and programs all-together. We managed to have a beautiful wedding and stay under our $10k budget. Even the things we thought were most important, we got discounts on.
There are so many ways to save. Don't be afraid to shop around vendors and ask for discounts. Ask and ye shall recieve.
For me the most important things were the venue (we wanted something different), the music (we wanted a really good DJ to keep the party going), and our photographer. Everything else we've really researched and tried to keep low budget or cut out entirely.
I think you need to take care of your guests, which means that they should be offered food, drink and a comfortable area to sit or be. If you cannot afford those things you should cut the wedding back.
Beyond that, all of our wedding planning was with the idea "Will this matter to me in 10 years?". There are some things that I think I will really care about, such as having formal pictures with my family. They are an expense, but we're going to make them happen. Other things are traditional (DJ or live music, a wedding party, lots of flowers) but are not essential to me, so we're skipping them. I would sit down with your FI and identify the top 5 things to you and find a way to make those work. Beyond that, cut it. It's still a wedding.
Looking back, my highest priority for the wedding was our ceremony. I spent our entire 12 month engagement writing and re-writing it to make it authentic and meaningful. My second highest priority was being a good host. The food, the drinks, and the quality time spent with our guests was huge to us. We are who we are, in large part, because of our relationships with these important people, and taking care of them was huge for us. My third priority was photography because I wanted tangible memories of our experience and our favorite people. And my fourth priority was the asthetics. I wanted to look and feel amazing, and I wanted to be surrounded by beauty as well.
Fortunately Mr. LK and I shared our top 3 priorities, which made planning rather smooth. I think it's really important for every couple to sit down and honestly talk about what matters most to them regarding the wedding and develop a shared vision. If you have that shared vision, you can help keep eachother on track and back one another up when someone inevitably questions your decisions.
To me - it's just about marrying my partner. The dress, the venue, the food, will all be over in a day. We will have each other for life, the rest is just the icing on the cake (as we MUST have a cake - now that's very important haha!)
As a guest: Food/drink and music. Keep in mind their comfort and treat them as you want to be treated. Can't go wrong with that.
As the bride: Food/drink, music, photos. Everything else i'm willing to compromise on. After that, I can't say that there is any one elemens that are priority.
as a bride: marrying my fiancee. honestly, if I had my way, we would just elope and put pictures up on a website afterwards. I'd also like to have a decent meal, a nice dessert and a pretty pair of shoes :D
unfortunately, FH says he "can't do that to his family".. so I feel like I'm turning from bride to host, which changes the whole game.
I want my guests to be in a beautiful place, with great food and music. I want it to be nicely decorated, I want them to have fun on the dance floor, and I want great pictures of the whole party. Or I want everyone to RSVP "no" and leave me the hell alone :D
As far as I was concerned, the wedding had two elements: a ceremony that was legally binding and that had enough solemnity for us to feel married, and a party to celebrate with family and friends. Everything else, from engagement rings to "colors," was strictly optional and only if we had the money.
@Bonni: What matters? Family. Commitment. Enjoying yourself. Don't get wrapped up in the details... you won't even notice them on the day of.
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Hi everyone! :)
I wanted to start this post to discuss what is important and what is not at a wedding. I've been engaged for 6 months and have just started wedding planning. My fiance and I have decided on a February wedding, which gives us just over 3 months to get everything done. What this means is that we are on a tight budget, and we are sacrificing a lot of things which we might've had if we had more time/money to spend. We are holding our ceremony at the town hall, then having the dinner/reception on a hired boat, and the dinner will be supplied by the chefs from our favourite restaurant. We aren't inviting too many people... there'll be maybe 50 people or so. Everything else will be budgeted!
I was thoroughly upset at first at the thought that I couldn't have a big country mansion/expensive designer dress/white doves/ETC ETC as part of this wedding I had envisaged for myself. But then I got realistic about things, did some research on 'smaller' weddings and realised that something more unique to ourselves, something more intimate, would make me feel a lot more comfortable than a big, grand, perfectly pristine wedding, anyway. My fiance already had this view, but it took a little longer to convince me! We are now cutting out everything we do not need/which isn't "us", and it feels great. The thing is that being married means more to me than having an expensive wedding. Maybe I wouldn't be saying that if I were rich, but I'm not, so it's true. :p I'm just so glad I got out of the mindset of "My wedding will be crap if it's not expensive". Money isn't everything.
What do you think matters at a wedding, and what definitely doesn't, or could be cut out? This includes any traditions etc.
And if you are one of the people who had a wedding on a budget/had only a few months or even weeks to plan, how did you manage? Where did you hold your ceremony/reception and what problems did you encounter?
I'm very excited!! :)