What age do you consider an "adult"?

posted 1 month ago in Guests
  • poll: Which age to do consider a guest an adult?
    16 : (17 votes)
    11 %
    18 : (85 votes)
    57 %
    21 : (46 votes)
    31 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    686 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2019

    Legal drinking age – 18 here 

    Post # 3
    Member
    6792 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    In the US you are considered an adult at 18 and I agree to that

    Post # 4
    Member
    1907 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    We went with the age that you are legally considered an adult in our country (Australia), which is 18 – this is when you’re legally allowed to drink, get your driver’s license, you have to vote, etc.

    Post # 5
    Member
    12415 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would say 18.  However, if you choose to use a younger age, make sure you apply the rule uniformly with no exceptions (other than nursing infants or a child who needs continuous care, of course).

    Post # 6
    Member
    1340 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    Drinking age for wedding purposes makes sense to me. Though if you’re in the States maybe not. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    3955 posts
    Honey bee

    With the rare exception, almost no one in our family/social circle questions a 21 and up wedding – the legal alcohol age, in our state. (BTW, my family started hosting adult weddings in the late 60s, when I was in junior high0.

    My daughter’s wedding was 21 and up. Her dream venue charged the full, adult rate – no discount for 5 hours of open bar, for all guests 13 and up. If the guest was 12 and under and requested an adult entree = full adult rate. The venue also had the right to request/require a photo ID, of every guests asking for an alcoholic beverage, which would have been a real pain.

    1st cousins were either 18 and under or 22 and up – no families were “split.” Family weddings after my daughter’s were 21 and up, also. We did extend an invitation to the only infant, who might be effected – one first cousin’s 2 month old, but they declined.

    250 adults were invited and 225 attended. One couple said they didn’t have a babysitter, despite being given 10 months notice, with the save the date. Another couple boycotted, and didn’t RSVP, because their kids weren’t invited. Oh well …

    Post # 9
    Member
    5665 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    emsie :  We had an adult only wedding, and all of our guests were over the age of 21. For us it was easy, because all our friends and family have young kids – so it wasn’t a situation of inviting their 18 year old but not their 16 year old.

    I am not one of those people who believes it has to be all or none, or some arbitary line. I think it’s your wedding and perfectly ok to choose your guest list based on who YOU want there.

    Post # 10
    Member
    338 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I thought before I clicked you meant in general! Id say in terms of guests 18, legally allowed to drink, drive etc in Australia

    Post # 11
    Member
    7953 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Cut offs by age are completely acceptable, but I personally did not approach it that way. We invited children of siblings and young first cousins only. No children of cousins or friends since that would have opened up the floodgates . I find it a lot easier for people to understand when you make cuts according to category.

    I would not have been comfortable inviting some first cousins and not others. Or only some children in a nuclear family. 

    All else being equal, my vote is for 21, but not because it’s the drinking age. I went to many weddings as a child and teenager. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    518 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    emsie :  well, i’m in the US where the legal drinking age is 21. since we’re having an open bar (which is part of our catering package, and so we’re paying for it regardless if a guest drinks), it was easy to say no one under 21. i dont need to worry about having underage kids getting trashed at my wedding.

    Post # 13
    Member
    408 posts
    Helper bee

    emsie :  For me, I suppose 19. That is the legal drinking age where I live. BUT I think I would consider 16 as a good age. They will be old enough to not have to be babysat. Won’t be running around, fussing or require a colouring book or other kid activities to keep them from bratting out.

    Post # 14
    Member
    502 posts
    Busy bee

    I think an “adults only” atmosphere with 18 year olds could really create a mess with underaged kids drinking and parents/elders not watching closely enough to ensure all got home safe. I’d say 21+. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    2866 posts
    Sugar bee

    To me an adult is someone who is independent and self-supporting, ie not age dependent. I’ve known 18 year-olds who meet that criteria, but not many. For the purpose of wedding planning and legal drinking (adult meal/bar costs) I may consider 21 appropriate. Often it comes down to family criteria. 

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