What age should a child be allowed to have sleepovers

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

Hmmm… I think it depends on the child. I slept over at my grandparents all the time from the time I was potty trained. I didn’t go to my first sleepover at a friend’s until I was in 1st grade. I knew people who had been having sleepovers with friends since they were 3-4, and I also knew kids who weren’t comfortable with it until they were older. 

Post # 3
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Do you mean with family or friends?

I think it depends a lot on the kid.  Eg. my friends 9 year old son still doesn’t sleepover at friends house because he has a chronic bedwetting problem, though family knows this and can accomodate it.  I think I first slept over a friends house in my first year of primary school at the age of around 5?  I was an independent social little thing though lol.

Family, I think any age is fine as long as you can trust the family member to look after a child that age.  If I had a baby or toddler, I would probably only leave it with family members who have had a child that age before.  Mum and bubs have to both be comfortable being away from each other the whole night though.

 

Post # 4
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not sure I’ll let my kids have sleep overs until they’re old enough to drive themselves to their friends I’ve just heard too many stories about young children getting molested by their friends family members or just something bad happening to them in general while Im not around, I could never forgive myself for that.  

Post # 5
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Ideally not until you can guarantee that the children sleeping over are quite capable of coping with a night away from home. Otherwise you’ll spend all evening phoning parents or driving homesick children to their houses. The same goes for sending your child on a sleepover.

In my experience, the later the better and certainly we didn’t go for sleepovers (other than at family homes) until my boys were about 9. By then they’d been on cub scout camps and had some experience of being away from home.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  .
Post # 6
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

rbuchanan09:  There is no one right answer. If they are younger and staying overnight with Grandma and Grandpa, it’s one thing.

If they are having a sleepover with someone they know well and play with all the time, and the parents are also involved in their life, another situation.

If it’s at a schoolmate’s house and they don’t know the parents well, they would probably be older.

Post # 7
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Oh and I had many sleepovers as a little baby with my mum at her friends houses.  She bottle fed so she would have no problem going to her friends house who had 5 kids and have a few drinks before sleeping on the couch and I would sleep in my portacot.  As I got older I would share the bed with her little boy who was the same age as me and my best friend.

My friend often brings her daughter over when we are having a party.  Her daughter is 4.  She hangs out with us and then my friend puts her to bed at around 8.30 in the spare room.  There is a spare mattress in there too and my friend will go to sleep there at the end of the night.  She prefers to do this over coming over for a bit, and either putting her daughter to bed only to wake her up again, or have her go to sleep in the car and have to wake her up.  She also prefers to drive with no alcohol in her system, although legally she can be 0.05.

Post # 8
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee

rbuchanan09:  With family or friends? At your house or at anothers?

I think 5 or so is probably when i started having them (much earlier with family and cousins) but friends was probably around 5 or 6. My mom always knew the family pretty well if i was staying somewhere else- it was usually at our neighbors house.

Post # 9
Member
5016 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Like PP have said, I think it depends on if it’s family or friends and how comfortable the kid/you are with the parents.

We have FI’s 5 year old nephew come over for sleepovers at our house all the time. He’s totally fine with this and happily sleeps on our coach or an air mattress.

I can’t remember how old I was when I started having sleepovers – my mom used to come pick me up late if she wasn’t comfortable with me staying over with the parents – but I would stay at the neighbors or close friends with no problem. 

Post # 11
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

How old is the child? How well do you know the parents of the friends?

Only there really isn’t an ideal age because it is so dependent on the child in question. As I said, above, by 9 my boys were regularly having successful sleepovers with friends. We tried a sleepover a year or so before that but ended up with homesick, tearful kids who suddenly realised that a sleepover meant a whole night apart from their mums and dads and when it came to it, they just weren’t ready for that sort of independence. 

Some children are happily having sleepovers when quite young. Others are never ready. 

Post # 12
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee

rbuchanan09:  If you know the friends family pretty well and trust them and the child is old enough to know how to call home, then i would say its OK.

If you are not comfortable or do not know their family well enough – perhaps have the sleep over at ur house? or arrange to meet the mom for coffee this week before the sleep over. 

Post # 13
Member
7206 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

rbuchanan09:   For me as a child it started at about age 10. For my children it started around age 8. Looking back, 8 seems rather young, but it depended on the family they would stay with. There were a couple of cases where I disallowed a sleepover. (Basically making up an excuse, because I’d let her sleep over elsewhere).

This is for friends of my child. For people who I knew and trusted (i.e. friends of me, and our children were friends) there was no limit, one of them slept over at age 2 while I was giving birth to her younger brother.

Post # 14
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I think I was around 5? Or maybe that’s when I first remember sleeping at a friends house. Man I miss sleepovers when I was a kid. They were so much fun!

Post # 15
Member
2061 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I believe I was around 7 or 8 for my first friend sleepover. I had been staying with cousins or grandparents since I was a toddler, my family is super close. I don’t know how I’d feel about our kid having a sleepover with pretty much anyone besides my parents, to be honest. I know way too many people who have had uncles, step-dads, grandparents, molest them. I would ideally like my kid to have a cell phone for any sleepover, and call me at the drop of a hat. Kids being molested makes me so scared, I will absolutely need to do serious prep to deal with any kind of disgusting nonsense. 

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