Post # 1
Title says it all, I’m just curious what others think about this.
(I’m 29 at the moment) I’m going to be TTC soon and part of me would like to wait a few more years, part of me wants to start tomorrow and of course I worry about actually being able to have kids altogether.
I sort of assume that I’ll have 2 kids, one in about 18 months (making me 30 and a half) and then another 18 months from then (Just past 32). This would mean I’d be done having kids by the time I’m 35 with a bit of wiggle room if need be.
It’s got me thinking though, if I don’t get pregnant straight away or we have trouble and it takes time, and I go past my 35 “deadline” would I be willing and happy to keep trying till I was say 40? 45?- I’m factoring in a more risky pregnancy AND the having energy to be looking after a teenager as I approach 60.
My mother had my younger sister at 40 and it didn’t seem all that strange at the time and she had a smooth enough pregnancy but somewhere in side of me I think 40+ is too… old for me. (No offence to any 40+ new mothers out there – just for me personally too old)
Post # 3
I’m 29 and we decided to TTC to last summer. I got pregnant on our second cycle trying and I’ll turn 30 right around my baby’s due date.
I plan to try for at least one more before I’m 35 but that’s my cut off. I think I’d want to stop trying at 35 even if I hadn’t had a successful pregnancy yet. At that point, we’d probably look into adoption.
Post # 4
I know there are a lot of ladies on here who are in that range or older and TTC and I think that’s great, but for us I think we’d like to have had our babies (God willing) by that point. Of course, you can’t predict the future.
Post # 5
Irs funny you should post this, me and my husband were just talking about it. As there is a big ‘?‘ as to if we can concieve a baby or not, i dont want to waste years hoping for a baby, i figure if its going to happen we will get pregnant within the next two-three years…. if if doesnt? Well i am giving up on the baby dream and throwing myself into my artwork. Age wise i am 25 DH is 29, so… i guess we would stop trying at ages -approx.- 28/32
(As badly as it would hurt not to have a baby we’ve watched DH sister struggled through 3 miscarriages, 2 babys who passed away and 10 years of trying and now they are thinking about doing IVF which will cost $15,000. ….. I am just not wanting to do that. If it happens, great, if not… i guess we werent meant to be parents.)
Post # 6
Well I think if you really want a child you don’t stop trying just because you’ve hit some arbitrary time limit you’ve set for yourself. I think for most people they whole stopping when they’ve hit a certain age has to do with fertility issues that can’t be overcome. You are only 29, I wouldn’t leap to thinking about 35 or 40 yet. So many things can happen especially given you haven’t even started trying.
Post # 7
If it does end up taking longer than you think, and you really do want children… I think you’ll find that your cut off will change a bit and that it’s not something you can truely determine ahead of time. I’m 33… I hoped to be having my first this year and a second soon after, also by 35. Well, I’m not pregnant and I still want 2. My mental cut off is moving later and later cause I still want children. I also found that though ages my sound old… that a lot of people who are say 55+ are still very youthful in their activities and lifestyle. I think it’s what you make of it… so if you’re 60 and have that teen, it may help stay youthful and not be “old”.
Post # 8
I had my last (of 2) babies at 34. I just turned 36. DH and I are considering one more- but it needs to be REAL soon.
Like I need to conceive in the next year. That is my own limit I am setting for myself. I got pregnant with both babies on the very first try- so that is not a factor inthe decision at all.
Post # 9
I’d like to start trying by around 28-30 and have a cut-off of 36ish? I want 3, but we also plan on adopting so not sure when we’ll be done with TTC or if we’ll adopt then TTC. I’d prefer to TTC and see if we even can – if not, then we’ll know and just adopt all of our children instead. My SO was adopted, so it’s something he’s really passionate about and I’ve always wanted to as well, but the older I get the more I want to experience pregnancy and giving birth at least once.
Post # 10
Right now, I would say definitely not past 40. The risks are too much and to be frank, I just want to have them almost out of the house by then. I’m coming on to 24 and hoping to start trying in the next year or 2 so hoping it doesn’t come to that.
My aunt just had her first a year ago when she was 40 and made sure to drill into me not to wait. Mind you she got married older but she still waited 8 years. She says she doesn’t have the energy she used to and it probably would have been easier a few years ago. Doesn’t help that her LO has sleeping problems (11 months and still not sleeping through the night – max of 4 hours than getting up every hour and half. Yuck)
Post # 11
@pinkshoes: This, exactly.
I think your cutoff age becomes somewhat of a moving target when you start TTC and determine whether it happens quickly or not for you. DH and I have been trying for 7 months (8 cycles), and I never thought it would take this long. We’re both healthy with no issues (all tests came back normal) and I ovulate like clockwork on the same day every cycle. And we’re still here, waiting. It could happen tomorrow, it could happen in a year or two. So, I can’t really say what my cutoff age because it’ll keep changing as this process takes longer.
Post # 12
i don’t think age will be a factor… more like how much heartbreak can you take before you die a little inside and just give up? or how much debt are you willing to go into before giving up?
Post # 14
@Soon2BeeMrsG: My SO is 14 years older than me, so if I didn’t get pregnant by the time I am 35, I would call it quits. That’s pushing it even. We’re thinking of TTC when I’m 30-31, 32 if need be. Right now I only want one kid. I’m turning 28 in a few months.
Post # 16
I’d probably give up on being pregnant by age 40. But I’d never be giving up on being a mother–personally, I’d switch gears and make my goal adoption or fostering.