Post # 1
One of my old friends from college asked me in August to be one of her bridesmaids this coming August. I am absolutely thrilled (if you can’t tell by me staying active on here – I love weddings :).
However, I don’t know any of the things I should be doing or what she’s done. I’d like to find a way to ask without stressing her out. It seems like the bridesmaid dresses should be picked out soon, so that I can get mine ordered and altered (if it needs to be).
I’m also wondering about her shower. I know her sister is the Maid/Matron of Honor, but I haven’t heard a word about any shower plans. The sister and I aren’t friends on Facebook, but I was considering adding her with a little note that said something about “Hey, I’m one of X’s bridesmaids and just thought I would add you to stay on top of planning things.”
Am I jumping the gun for an August wedding? Should I just wait a month or two before asking about details? I’m just trying to be a good bridesmaid – but I’m now realizing that since I’m out-of-state, I have no idea what is going on!!
Post # 3
No way, this isn’t jumping the gun. I know my BMs have the bach party and shower planned already. Definitely friend the sister. All my BMs friended each other on FB. You should ask her what she needs/wants help with, if anything.
Post # 4
I think you might be jumping the gun–but maybe I am just running late?! My wedding is this June, I started talking to bridesmaids about dresses in mid-December. Neither the shower nor the bachelorette party are planned yet. I know when they are roughly thinking of having the shower, but I know they’re just starting to think about it and plan for it now. Bachelorette party has not even crossed our minds lol.
I would say, you don’t need to ask about bridesmaid dresses yet. I’m sure she’ll get in touch with you when she’s at that stage. But, there is definitely no harm in adding her sister to your facebook. Just tell her that you want to make sure you can make it into town for the shower, so ask her if she can let you know what date she’s planning as soon as she knows!
As for what you should be doing…just show up at the wedding! 🙂 If you want to be kept more in-the-loop though, just tell her. I’m sure she’d be delighted to share how planning is going with you.
Post # 5
@MrsEdamame: I think you should ask. If you read the posts on here the brides much prefer bridesmaids that stay interested and offer their assistance. And definetly add the other bridesmaids so at least you are in the loop. You can never offend ppl by offering your help
Post # 6
I feel you on this. I am also an out of state BM in a weding at the beginning of June and have no details. I know the bride wants to get off the rack dresses but I am sort of freaking out not knowing what we are wearing or if I will need alterations or shoe shopping or anything. I don’t even know who to contact as I am friends with the groom and technically part of his wedding party but wearing the same thing as the BMs. As far as planning, they are planning long distance and I am no where near the couple or the wedding location so I just volunteered to help when needed and so far have been asked about logistics of a couple of things that we went through for our wedding.