Post # 1
I just read Dr Chapmans “the Five Love languages” and it has completely opened my eyes. Please read it if you haven’t! Seriously amazing.
My fiancees love lanaguae is “acts of service” but I am a somewhat selfish person and I don’t tend to do a lot for other people. That may sound horrible but i’m just being honest.
I just want to know some ideas of little things I can do for my fiancee to fill his “love tank”.
I already know that keeping a clean home and things like that would be viewed to him as “acts of love” but i’m struggling to come up with anything else other than bringing him coffee in the morning.
Also, no surprise here that my “love language” is equal between Personal Touch and Quality time 🙂
Post # 3
No worries, we all gotta exchange each other’s currency, so to speak…so some things you CAN do are turning down the bed for him, noticing when he’s running low on shaving cream or shampoo and getting that for him, taking his car for an oil change is a nice surprise, and so his filling his gas tank for him, budget allowing of course.
Hope those help!
Post # 4
I’m planning on doing this for my hubs (the nerf gun part…) http://lifedesigncraft.blogspot.com/2012/04/mr-mrs-smith-date-night-nerf-gun-war.html
I know he will love it as a little surprise date night
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church
I try to make yummy desserts every once in a while to make my DH feel the love. I like to text him “I have a surprise for you” while he’s out then when he gets home I have something baked/cooked/made or I’ve purchased a little something for him like a new pair of head phones when his break or something little that he mentioned that he was wanting. I really like doing little things for him. We also have a framed sign that says “I [heart] you because” and we write on the glass with dry erase markers telling each other something/some aspect/some action they’ve done recently that we love about the other and appreciate. Sometimes I go and meet him at work when he’s on lunch and either bring him lunch or take him out for lunch. It’s like a surprise date in the middle of the work day.
Post # 6
You could pack a lunch for him, or make a breakfast or dinner that he likes if you don’t normally do those things.
Do you have animals? When I feel like being extra sweet, I walk the dogs in the morning so he doesn’t have to.
Post # 7
My FI has the same love language. Things that i do to “fill his tank” is to give him back massages (this is his favourite), pick up some coffee, make him suppers, tidy up. Honestly that’s all he needs and it makes him the happiest guy in the world. Maybe I have it easy :p
Post # 8
That’s a great book!
DH and I both speak the same “love language” (physical touch) so it’s easy for us to communicate and stay connected that way. If you speak different love languages I’m sure it’s a little more challenging to come up with things.
You could always ask what things you can do for him to show your love. Notice things he does for you, because sometimes that’s what people do when they want the same thing in return.
Also, cooking nice meals for him, or baking his favorite dessert. Stocking the fridge with his favorite beverage, beer or whatever. Maybe surprise him by doing all his laundry – washing, drying, folding, hanging, putting away (ugh, so time consuming). 😉 Take out the trash if he usually does it.
Post # 9
I rub FI’s neck when he’s sore, give him hugs when he’s stiffened by a bad mood and make him sandwiches. Meanwhile, he cuddles me hourly and cooks a real dinner.
I’ve gotta step up my game!
Post # 10
I make dinner every night. I always swore I’d never do that for a man, but he really enjoys it.
Post # 11
I’ve done many of these things. I’m the one that cooks and bakes and I enjoy doing those things. I bake desserts. I usually cook breakfast on Sundays. Now I don’t like always doing it all by myself, so I do ask him to do certain things for me (he is often my “chopper” or “grater”) I used to pack his lunch when he didn’t have time to go out or find food. I also do most of the grocery and other shopping because he hates shopping and I generally enjoy it (I even like to grocery shop). So I get most of the groceries and I buy all the neccessities like shampoo, paper towels, TP, etc.
Since he hates shopping and doesn’t have time for it…I’ve gone out to get him shirts, work pants, socks, underwear.
I’ve read some about those languages, both our main one is physical touch though!
Post # 12
thanks for all the great suggestions everyone. it’s going to be a challenge to learn how to speak his “language” but i’m excited about it.
he’s also super open and is reading the book too so I hope my quality time needs are met 🙂
Post # 13
@Nona99: Agreeed! Our LLs aren’t acts of service (although if I remember right, we were both pretty equal across all of them), but he loves it when I do little stuff.
For example, we always have a surplus of supplies like vitamins, deodorant, etc. If he runs out, or I know he’s running low, I pull out a new whatever it is. When dinner’s ready (no matter who makes it), I’ll dish up a plate for him and grab utensils, a drink, etc., especially if he’s on the phone or studying. If I’m at the store and I see something I think he’ll like (a snack, drink, something), I get it. I picked up dinner the other day and made a special stop at Taco Bell to get him a Dr. Pepper because I thought he’d like one.
Post # 14
My FI’s is “acts of service”, too.
I pack his lunch almost every day. I almost always leave a gushy note in it. On a day I missed it, I sent Thai food to him at work.
We use an app called Penzu that we can both log into and write notes to each other. I routinely write long love letters to him.
He has back problems so I often run a bath for him and wash his back. I pluck his unibrow and use fancy face products on him. I rub his neck in the car when he’s driving. I bring home a large array of pain remedies when his back is acting up.
I clean the house, do the laundry and cook. I pick out his clothes in the morning sometimes. I also made a rocking Halloween setup this year and we had soooo much fun scaring the kids. I can’t remember the last time I’d seen him having so much fun.
I honor his parents and his faith. I routinely send over cupcakes and other pastries to his mom and her church group. I always prepare fabulous dishes for family parties. I try my hardest to be friendly and outgoing around his family, even when there is a slight language barrier. I don’t let that stop me! I am learning Spanish (well, relearning might be more accurate) so I can speak fluently and converse with his relatives in their native tongue. I want to be able to do this so we can go see his extended family in Mexico.
I attend church with my FI and I motivate him to go when he doesn’t feel like it.
This list is very long, lol. I could probably go on for a while.
Post # 15
Breakfast in bed on Sundays. (Or a day you both are home in the mornings.) Take his car to the car wash for him. Pick up some of his favorite snacks at the grocery store. Make his lunch for him, for work.
Post # 16
I rub my husbands feet every night after he gets out of the shower. He works about 12 hours a day and is on his feet all day so I love doing this for him because it helps him to relax and makes him feel better. I dont work much because I am trying to get through school and I want him to know how much I appreciate all he does. I also have dinner ready for him at whatever time he comes come.
My love language is gift giving so I always buy him little things like his favorite candy or a new shirt if I see something he likes. I also ALWAYS tell him I love him and he does the same.