Post # 1
DH and I are talking about conceiving in about 1 to 1.5 years. I was diagnosed with PCOS, making it that much harder to get pregnant, so I want to be younger to give myself a better shot. We have decided we are going to try to make it work with both of us working, because I just can’t give up my career, and he can’t either. We’re putting a budget together for this, and realizing how CRAZY expensive daycare is, we’re wondering what other things might be expensive that we haven’t even thought of!
So, for bees that have children (or the ones that don’t!), what are some things that end up costing a lot that you hadn’t considered?
Post # 3
@QueenOfSerendip: I couldn’t breast feed my twins and formula is crazy expensive! If you can’t breast feed, I’d recommend getting a membership to a warehouse like Sams or Costco because the formula is much cheaper and so are diapers!
Post # 4
@QueenOfSerendip: I would say if you don’t have medical coverage that can be an unhappy surprise. My sister is always shocked at the price of her kids’ activities, summer camps, and toys. Everything is electronic now, and kids don’t play in the same way that we used to.
I don’t have kids yet, but I am in the same boat as you. When/if we do, we are both going to be working. I can work from home a lot, which is nice, but it’s a little hard to actually work and take care of an infant. Giving up my job is not an option for our lifestyle though!
Post # 5
my sister’s second child was allergic to her breast milk and most formula, so she had to buy some crazy expensive formula. A few weeks ago she also got glasses, which were super expensive.
Post # 6
Honestly, for the first year, she was cheap. i cloth diapered and breast fed, so other than bying some clothes here and there, we were good to go (plus a year of mat-leave meant no childcare costs)
Now that she’s almost two, clothes are one of the biggest costs. I buy most of her stuff from thrift stores, but when they’re this age, they grow so fast and get everything so dirty that you go through a lot!
Another thing that I didn’t think about was the extra food costs..it only gets worse the older they get. I have to buy foods for her I wouldn’t normally buy for myself, so there are extra costs there as well…and the amount of food that a 2 year old can put away when going through a growth spurt is terrifying! I never used to buy milk (I can’t drink it) before having her…and I am astonished at how much we go through and how much it costs!
It’s not an issue for me, as I am in Canada, but I am thinking that in the US, health care might increase costs as well? We’ve had to make a few trips to the doctor and ER for minor things.
Post # 7
Definately medical coverage, my son was a premie, and 1 month stay in NCIU before insurance could have bought a house easily.
@MrsPanda99: Not necessarily, my son is almost 2 and he actually has/plays with quite a few toys from when I was little (70’s). Found toys at garage sales to toys back in style that definately not electronic he plays with. It is all how the parent buys or lets the child play with.
Post # 8
I’m a stay at home parent, but our budget isn’t tight. I’d say things that cost more than I thought they would primarily be activities. $180 a month for dance classes is more than I figured it would be and private schools here can run well into the $20ks. The girls are almost 4 and 5 right now (having my third on Monday), so they’re getting to the age where I’m constantly purchasing clothes and things, too.
Allergies and medical issues can get costly. My youngest daughter had surgery as an infant. Back then, we didn’t have insurance, but made enough money to not qualify for even the hospital’s help with the bill. I’d say if you have a super tight budget, even the co-pays for some medical conditions can cause issues because there were months at a time we were in the specialist’s office every week.
I just think, in general, it’s smart to have a cushy emergency fund when you have children. You never know what will crop up.
Post # 9
@MrsPanda99: It’s such a catch-22, isn’t it? You want to stay home with your kids, but you don’t want to give up the 2 income lifestyle. Then, since you can now provide them with fun things, you never have any TIME to spend with them to do these things! But I don’t want my kids to grow up without the option to do things that make them happy.
@urchin: You Canadians are so lucky, I’m jealous! We get 0 paid maternity leave (other than what my company voluntarily offers, which is 4 weeks). And I know universal healthcare has its own problems, but just for DH and I, we pay $375 a month for ours, and a $25 deductible for any prescription med or medical visit. When we add children that will increase to $600 a month. Ugh!
Post # 10
@QueenOfSerendip: That’s exactly it. I don’t want to ever tell my kids they can’t play hockey, go on a school trip, take a family vacation, or any of the things I grew up with. We are used to a two income lifestyle and neither of us would be happy “making do” with one. Sure, we could. But it would be no way to live (at least for us – I know different things work for different people).
I would love to be home! I think my sister is going to stay home after she gives birth to her twins (she has 2 other kids too), and then go back to work when they start school. I worry about being out of the workforce for so long and then just expecting to jump back in at the sam level and rate of pay. I value my career and my future kids. It’s tough.
Post # 11
Clothes and shoes. Amazing how they go through growth spurts through the years.
I buy my kids clothes at the beginning of the school year, by xmas, I’m buying them new jeans for the winter because the ones I buy them at the beginning of the school year are short on them! Shoes!! They go through them so quickly, they grow out of them or they get worn. AND they are so cheaply made! Word of advice, go for cheaper shoes, they last longer anyways!
Money towards school events, sports (sports is a BIG $$$$$). Donations at school. Birthday parties (Be prepared to be invited to tons of bday parties, bot in preschool and through out regular school). Kids are always needed to “wear something special” on a particular day – be prepared to last minute shop so your child can wear that particular item to school the next day. UGH! I hate finding out those last minute things the night before from the kids “Oh yeah Mommy, I have to wear a green shirt with a funny hat and stripped socks to school tomorrow”. WHAT? Really? Come on!!
Post # 12
@Sassygrn: I have no qualms about saying my sister spoils her kids 😛 All the toys they want are expensive. Luckily, they also like going outside to play and run around.
Post # 13
@MrsPanda99: Oh yeah definately get that, luckily my little boy is to little to understand new toys vs used toys. I would say over half of his clothing and toys are gently used. I rarely buy new, that will change the older he gets…
Post # 14
@QueenOfSerendip: I second pp’s clothes,diapers,formula are all quite expensive more so if you have kids close together. Also agree with having emergency fund.
Post # 15
I have three- I inheireted a 9 year old with my marriage. My two are 6 and 3. We made the decision that it was best for me to be a SAHM. We want to try for an “ours” next year. Medical expenses can be insane- my two were both sickly kids. My daughter also had a completely unexpected 1 week stay in the hospital with a surgery the following monday- total for the stay plus tests and surgery was well over 6 digits long. Thankfully- I had amazing insurance at the time and didn’t pay a dime. My daughter is pretty much the clumsiest kid ever, too- so we’ve had three ER trips this year (a concussion, broken finger and stitches on her head from tripping and hitting her head on the sink at school.. seriously it’s insane). Activities are expensive!!! Soccer for the oldest is $100/month, Middle’s dance is $130/month, little bit thankfully does free activites still going to the library is far more fun for him than playing soccer. I BF’ed both my kids. Diapers are insane! I should have done cloth. Now as the girls are getting older- they are getting more expensive. Oldest’s braces were $2900 out of pocket- with dad’s and mom’s insurance both paying more than average. I love them and I wouldn’t change it for the world, but man I’d love to have some money to myself 🙂
Post # 16
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Everything. LOL Take what you think it costs to raise a kid and double it. That should get you closer to actual costs. Next week will be a trip to the county fair for Teen LK and his girlfriend. I’m estimating it will be about $80 for ride tickets and another $40 to feed them. Mr. LK and I plan to eat at home so that we won’t be too tempted by funnel cakes and bacon wrapped everything. Teen LK’s glasses are $350 a year. His doctor appointments are $170 a piece, and we go once every 3 weeks (so $2900 a year). His monthly prescription co-pay is $65. When we need to replace his inhalers, they are $60 a piece. Shoes are $70 each time (mr. wide feet can only wear New Balance), and he goes through at least 3 pairs each year. He’s in the teenage growth spurt stage, so I am buying a new wardrobe twice a year. He needed a suit for mock trial team. There went $200. 6 months later the arms of the suit jacket are too short. He needed a costume for the school play (coveralls). Bye bye $60. And the gas cost to drive him 25 minutes each way to school for practices and such? I don’t want to think about it. Then there is the huge amount of food that he inhales. Feeding a teenage boy a healthy, organic diet is expensive. And we are staring down the cost of college tuition. Even if he goes to community college for his AA degree first, we’re still looking at a $50k bill that doesn’t include room and board fees. He would have to commute 45 minutes each way for comminity college, and more than an hour or more each way to get to a 4 year school, so then we would have the cost of another car and car insurance for a young male to contend with. That’s another $10k for a reliable and safe car, and probably $3000 extra each year for his insurance.