Post # 1
I’ve only been engaged for 2 months so luckily I haven’t gotten many yet. But here are the few:
1. FI’s grandma wants us to get married in a church rather than the outdoor ceremony we visualize.
2. My mother requested that on our response cards we have a place where people write in the actual number attending rather than Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Ummmm, what mom?
3. My aunt requested that we do a fast, choreographed dance for our first dance. No. Totally not Fiance’s style.
4. My mother would like to invite 40 friends of hers. We want 150 total. Not happenin’. No, she is not paying for the whole wedding.
Curious to see what other brides have had to deal with!
Post # 3
The big one for me is the request we allow children when we would prefer an adult-only evening of dancing and partying!
Post # 4
I’m having a close friend from college – a man – be on my side of the court. my mom wants me to put him on the groom’s side. but he doesn’t have history with the groom, he’s my friend! plus, that would mean there would be 6 people on his side and only 3 on mine! she said she thought it was weird.
I was saddened by that arguement. I though my mom was more open minded than that.
Post # 5
@MissNachoLover: 2. My mother requested that on our response cards we have a place where people write in the actual number attending rather than Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Ummmm, what mom?
Does she want the number attending space in addition to the line where they write their names, or instead of? Because having them write in the number as well is pretty standard and actually quite useful…
Post # 6
@lilacwire: this is my current problem. I was almost in tears yesterday because of this. I would love to invite all the kids everyone has. But I can’t afford it and my venue is too small, but I had someone giving me a hard time about it last night (jokingly, but I don’t think they realize what a sore spot this is for me). 🙁
Post # 7
My mom really wants to do a flash mob…..like Glee in the mall style flas mob….or the one from modern family. no…i’m not kidding…and no…my mom isn’t on crack
Post # 8
FI’s mom keeps requesting really awful songs on our website–for the mother-son dance and I guess just in general? I’m talking about sappy, corny, terrible country music. At least I get to completely stay out of that one and let FI handle it.
Post # 9
A friend of my Moh sent me a text asking if she could be my moh too.. but i’m not even friends with her?!
Your granma requesting you have a church wedding isnt crazy imo. It may not be what you envision but i dont think its crazy
Post # 10
@.twist.: I was in tears about this!! My family wants all their kids, but I want them focused on me for just a few hours, please!! My friends (all OOT) are HAPPY to leave the kids at home.
Also, my parents want to invite their whole church (100+), with an open invitation, no RSVP cards, and doesn’t want me to expect an RSVP from most…what? “Most caterers bring more food than what you request, right?” Not enough for 100 more!! They also are not paying anything for the wedding.
Post # 11
@linguo42: I have no clue. It’s just funny to me because it’s totally not something that’s on my radar right now!
Post # 12
The one’s that are coming to mind so far are:
1. My mom insisting that my sister be a BM (didn’t do it)
2. My mom insisting that I invite certain friends of her’s (didn’t do it)
…. I’m sure there are others. But, what I learned through planning is that EVERYONE will have something that they want you to do. Sometimes they have a very nice and valid reason and other times, it’s just off the wall crazy.
Unless you like the idea, my advice to everyone is to learn the following:
After said friend/relatives gives you their vision/idea/you MUST do this suggestion: You do the following:
3. Genuinely say: Thank you, I’ll think about it. Or, Thank you. That’s an interesting idea.
AND LEAVE IT LIKE THAT. Don’t go on to say that no, you don’t want ‘x’ because you really want ‘y’. It doesn’t matter to that person. That person has their heart set on you doing it ‘x’ way.
In the end, all those little things that WILL drive you crazy don’t even really matter. What matters is that you and your FI are on the same page and that the two of you execute the wedding YOU want.
Post # 13
@crystlrox: Yea, I just don’t understand it. I get that finding a babysitter can be difficult, but for one night?? Adults only, is that so much to ask? I have been really upset about it, it’s probably one of my biggest worries.
Post # 14
FMIL wanted to invite a bunch of distant relatives, who don’t even really know FI, because many moons ago there was some “bad blood” in the family and she saw inviting them to our wedding as a great way to try and mend fences.
We are having 50 people at our wedding, including the wedding party. Inviting a dozen relatives who couldn’t give a rat’s behind if FI is getting married? Yeah, right.
Post # 15
Oh man I have a list 3 miles long. My FMIL is insistent on inviting more people than the capacity of the venue for her side alone. She claims “they won’t all come”. My father is insistent that we do a surprise choreographed dance for our father daughter dance. I cringe at the thought of it. My mother is insisting that the RSVPs go to her house because it’s “tradition” even though she’ll need to then pass the info along to me so I can send out B list invites to FMIL’s family. FI is insisting the photographer is there to get pics of him and his GM getting ready before the wedding, but FI and I will be getting ready a half hour away from each other, so now I have to sacrifice having the photographer while I’m getting ready with my BMs. I seriously want to tell everyone to take a number and get in line.
Post # 16
@.twist.: I also was very upset, but then, I really don’t think it is too much to ask. We are paying a lot for that one night and it is OUR night. I guess I just don’t understand cuz I don’t have kids…don’t you still want some adult time as a couple and with other adults and to have a few drinks and dance once you have kids?? Stay strong, I think we are losing a few couples who just can’t seem to leave their kids at home…oh well.