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I think "the signs" can be really different with every guy, depending on their personality. I had an idea that the ring was already purchased and hiding somewhere in our apartment b/c my (then) boyfriend started getting really paranoid about locking up all of our windows before we left for work in the morning. He wasn't usually like that, so that was a big tip off for me. Also, on the day that he ultimately proposed, he was barely eating anything. Of course I just thought that he was feeling sick... but really it was the nerves :-)
Thanks skibobrown! You are right every guys is different but it is interesting to see what others thought before the question was popped.
HAHA - this totally depends...I'm extremely oblivious when it comes to certain things - and my husband is AWESOME at keeping secrets (which may not be a good thing, lol) - but I had NO signs WHATsoever...
i wish i had seen signs - but nope - completely oblivious!
i wish someone wrote a guidebook! i would totally love to know like the "Top 10" signs to look for! until then, i'm in limbo ;)
i also think it depends on the guy. mine didn't give me any signs. he did things to prepare for the proposal, and he did them right in front of me and i still had no clue. we went camping, and he was researching the perfect place to do it online. he's kind of geeky, and he's always researching places before we go, so he'll tell me random things about places that we've never been, he'll know the best places to go, and he'll know the locations of the bathrooms. so of course that didn't tip me off at all. and everything else was just normal, he asked me if i wanted to take a walk. we were camping in a beautiful park, that's normal.
I wish I knew them also. My guy can hide secrets, sadly, so I'll know nothing while I'm in limbo.
*dons professor glasses, whips out clipboard*
Check all that apply!
Has your boyfriend been starting conversations about "the future", i.e. children, finances, jobs, etc.?
Has he talked about marriage specifically?
Is he talking about marriage more frequently, or has he stopped talking about it altogether?
Has he commented on your jewelery, asked for your ring size, or gazed excessively at your left hand?
Has he come up with excuses to take you jewelry shopping or explore your jewelry tastes?
Have his spending habits changed?
Has his behavior changed; has he displayed out of the ordinary nerves, secrecy, romantics, or other behaviors?
Is a significant date, whether holiday, outing, or anniversary, coming up?
Do you feel like you've discussed many of your potential marriage concerns and you've hit a calm period in your relationship? Sort of like a calm before the storm feeling?
Those are the symptoms of MPP (men planning proposals) as Dr. Minutiae know them. :D
Well Dr. Minutiae (lol), here are my responses to your checklist.
1. Has your boyfriend been starting conversations about "the future", i.e. children, finances, jobs, etc.? We have always talked about "the future". So we both do know where each other is on the pages of children, finances, and jobs.
2)Has he talked about marriage specifically? The last few months we have talked more about marriage. During our Thanksgiving weekend with my family he did comment to me that he wanted to be in the delivery room when we have are children in the future...random I know but its been something we discussed before. However, before his response use to be like "Ugh NOOO".
3) Is he talking about marriage more frequently, or has he stopped talking about it altogether? I don't know if its me or him that has been bringing up marriage more frequently...I need pay closer attention.
4) Has he commented on your jewelery, asked for your ring size, or gazed excessively at your left hand? He hasn't made comments on my jewelery because I don't wear jewelery except for the occasionally right hand ring. He has asked for my ring size before. As recent as a few weeks ago he said "your a 7.5 right" and I responded "No I am 8. Remember?!" He temproarily freaked out and then was like "oookaaayyy".
5) Have his spending habits changed? YES! We have been talking more about money and how much a wedding, honeymoon, and moving (since we don't already live together) will cost. We don't spend as much on dates as we use to.
6)Has his behavior changed; has he displayed out of the ordinary nerves, secrecy, romantics, or other behaviors? He is a romantic at heart but lately he has been calling me nicknames that he doesn't say all the time.
7) Is a significant date, whether holiday, outing, or anniversary, coming up? Well, we are the couple that celebrates each month we are together no matter how big the celebration. That being said we are having our 2.5 (aka 30 month) anniversary coming up this Sunday.
8)Do you feel like you've discussed many of your potential marriage concerns and you've hit a calm period in your relationship? Sort of like a calm before the storm feeling? Yes, we have definitely talked about our concerns and they have been addressed. I would say that things are going rather smoothly.
So what do you think Doc?
Oh, a proposal is definitely on the way!
*whispers And not just because I want one to be on the way for you!* :P
Seriously though, it does sound like he's gearing up for a proposal. Best of luck!
LMAO Dr. MINUTIAE: Got it down to a science huh?! you're adorable!!! I don't know if M has talked about any of that stuff or not because I cannot stop talking about it lol!! I asked him this morning if he thought I'd stop and he said nope (cause he says it's all i talk about, which isn't true) then I said well why'd you ask me to stop if you don't expect me too, screw this let's get married tomorrow and have a reception christmas day at home that would be awesome, don't you think. he said no, i don't think that would be awesome... you want a wedding. then i said it would be awesome because i'd be your wife and that's all i care about. and he just grinned...
@Crebre80: That is so cute...I totally feel you though. I just want to be his wife...though the wedding and all will be nice too!
@carebear: i've gone through some strange metamorphosis... i have ALWAYS wanted to be his wife but before i put a lot of emphasis on how i'd be his wife, small intimate romantic candle light, great centerpieces, even greater dress and tablescapes, etc. now i could care less... i just want to share his last name... although a part of me is sad because my last name will be the same as his and his kids and my son's will be different :( (my son has his dad's last name)... but i think i'll give my son the option of informally adopting m's last name if he wants to sometimes... and just using both of his last names... sorry to go off on a tangent but i've been thinking of that lately...
@Crebre80: Girl, that is a great idea of letting your son informally chosing to adopt your new lastname. My BFF for like forever (love her to pieces) has 2 kids with different dads which means different last names and she got married almost 2 years ago to a great guy who is not the biologicl father of her 2 kids but acts like it. I went to visit her over Thanksgiving and I was noticing her daughter's lunch box has his last name on it. I was like "ya'll changed the kids names?" and she was like "Nah, they just like having his last name because they see him has their only dad". I thought that was really cute.
@carebear: that's really cute... i think i'll just ask let him know if he mentions we don't have the same last name that it's okay to have m's name at the end if he wants to, it's not a big deal.
I'm not engaged yet but the mister is pretty bad a surprises, like terrible. So here's my two cents--he asked me how much he can spend on a single purchase using his debit card. I know that a ring is the largest purchase he will be making in the future so it has to be it. (I would know about any large purchase, we talk about everything) He was also freaking out about not getting everything done in time to come home, but wouldn't elaborate on what. So I know I won't be getting engaged over the holidays lol. The only thing I don't know is when exactly, and I hope it stays that way!
mine showed NO signs that a proposal was coming. We both knew we would get married, but when he proposed I was completely surprised.
The obvious sign that I totally didn't pick up on was him being really persistent that things should be a certain way.
Him: Let me take you out to lunch on Friday!
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, I can't, I have a ton of work.
Him: Aw why not? I really want to..
Me: Well, I really can't. Next week maybe?
Him: Sigh. Why not?
Me: *getting annoyed*
Eventually it ended up he picked me up from work, and then brought me to a park and proposed, instead of during lunch like he hoped (I'm glad I persisted, cause I wouldn't have been able to do a SINGLE THING back at work!)
Our friends were in on it too, and they were also strangely trying to convince me to go with him to lunch, and I was so confused and annoyed that no one understood! But then it all made sense, haha. If you guys have a standing appointment (ie church I guess?) then you never know :)
sounds like your boyfriends up to something, lets hope its a proposal! I'm not engaged yet (I'm a totally wedding lover though) anyway, yesterday my boyfriend asked me how i would like to be proposed to, hmm think that's a sign? haha.
Ohhh! Those are some good questions to analyze! Gonna use those!
@jwinnings- My SO asked me that on our first date! Early bird, so early, I was like CHILL.LOL
I remember there was some article about "signs he is going to", and they were talking about ditching bachelor ways, budgeting, and talking about the future. Oh! And he doesn't cringe at/about weddings... anymore.
Except BF was never into bachelor ways, has always been money-conscious (you should see the spreadsheets he makes before a semi-major purchase), and just this morning we were talking about whether or not our future children would be allowed to have soda in the house, and what we would do about milk (for drinking/cereal). Not how many kids or when, but "what about the milk?". And as far as I have known him, he hasn't been a wedding cringer, so long as it isn't obviously done up for appearances.
So, according to most of those, he's totally about to propose! Except he's not, and he told me a while ago he needs to save up for it. And that he has no idea how/what he's going to do. I'm sure if he'd asked how I wanted it done, I'd look at him like he was crazy.
Though I guess it *is* "going to" and not "will do it tomorrow"...
Thanks Ladies! I knew from day one he was "the one". He is everything I wanted and even the things I didn't know I needed!
I knew it was coming becuase he couldn't contain hmself after he asked for my parents' blessing. He told me the night he asked them, and proposed a week later.
The night he proposed, he was very nervous, just kind of giddy. He popped teh Q at midnight (New Year's).
Hmmm - I totally missed the quiz! I took it for myself, and sadly it doesn't seem like there's one around the corner for me! But Carebear - how exciting that it went according to plan!
Hey everyone, I am new to this forum. I have dated my BF for almost a year now and I think he's the One... so here's my checklist:
1. Has your boyfriend been starting conversations about "the future", i.e. children, finances, jobs, etc.? We started having conversations about the future about six months ago. My BF is 31, 8 years older than me, and he told me six months ago that he wants to buy a house soon. We have since discussed things regarding finance if I move into his house, and that sort of stuff. We will most likely move in together this year.
2)Has he talked about marriage specifically? I also asked him two months ago what his family would think if him and I got married in my home country. He said he thinks it might be tricky for his elderly relatives and parents to travel that far, then he said "What would your family think about coming over here?". I should also mention that he came with me to my home country a few months ago to visit my family and friends.
We have also briefly discussed engagements rings. I asked him recently: "If we were to get engaged, would you like me to tell you what sort of ring I want, or would you want to choose one?" He said he would pick one himself because he knows he would pick a good one.
3) Is he talking about marriage more frequently, or has he stopped talking about it altogether? I am the one who has brought it up each time, but he has responded quite well each time (he didn't scream and run away :P ).
4) Has he commented on your jewelery, asked for your ring size, or gazed excessively at your left hand? I have a favourite ring which I usually wear on my right hand. My BF likes holding my hand and he often looks at and "plays" with the ring. He has also said how nice he thinks the ring looks on me.
5) Have his spending habits changed? Yes. He is very concerned with saving money and has been doing lots of overtime at work. I think his primary concern is saving money for buying the house though.
6)Has his behavior changed; has he displayed out of the ordinary nerves, secrecy, romantics, or other behaviors? I haven't noted a big change, except that he has become much more affectionate over the last few months. He loves cuddling and calling me sweet nick-names.
7) Is a significant date, whether holiday, outing, or anniversary, coming up? Well, Valentine's Day was just this Sunday, and he did actually say that he thinks I am the love of his life. No proposal though ;) Our anniversary is coming up soon and we are going abroad for a romantic weekend, so who knows :)
8)Do you feel like you've discussed many of your potential marriage concerns and you've hit a calm period in your relationship? Sort of like a calm before the storm feeling? Yes, I feel like we are now heading towards the same goals, and the past couple of months have been very calm in our relationship.
@surkim My boyfriend is like that too! He has never been a commitment-phobe, a bachelor-type or non-budget conscious. That's just how he is!
Although, my best marker of when my boy is proposing so far has been from his own mouth! Bwuaha. We talk about pretty much everything together, and he'll occasionally let things slip. I have a pretty good idea of the type of ring I'll be getting, the cost of it, and the general timeline just b/c of offhand comments he's making.
I don't know. I don't really want to look for signs though. In my head, it's just a lot nicer when you don't see it coming.
He didn't sleep the night before the proposal. Also, I had noticed one of my rings in my jewelry box had been missing for about 2 weeks prior to the proposal. I came to find out he used it to figure out my size. He also proposed the day before my birthday, which really was a surprise.
My fiance (hey, check that out... that's the first time I've written that out!) was displaying all types of uncommon behavior prior to actually proposing. We had worked out that we were going to get married for a year, saving up money, shopping for rings together, etc, etc. So I knew it was happening just not so much when.
The first sign that it was happening REAL soon is when he decided a month out that we should do something for Valentine's Day like go out to a nicer restaurant, which was definitely odd because we've never made special plans for Vday nor done a fancy dinner date. Additionally, he's not really the type to plan out activities way in advance so when I was surprised when I told him to take care of arrangements and he said OK and went on his merry way.
Everytime I asked why we were doing a fancy dinner when we had never done it before, he found a way to avoid the question or change the subject. Then during the next few weeks he asked about odd specifics like what I'd be wearing to dinner. And on the night of he was a lot less talkative than usual.
@Minutiae: I LOVE that.
My turn:
Has your boyfriend been starting conversations about "the future", i.e. children, finances, jobs, etc.?
Has he talked about marriage specifically?
Is he talking about marriage more frequently, or has he stopped talking about it altogether?
Has he commented on your jewelery, asked for your ring size, or gazed excessively at your left hand?
Has he come up with excuses to take you jewelry shopping or explore your jewelry tastes?
Have his spending habits changed?
Has his behavior changed; has he displayed out of the ordinary nerves, secrecy, romantics, or other behaviors?
Is a significant date, whether holiday, outing, or anniversary, coming up?
Do you feel like you've discussed many of your potential marriage concerns and you've hit a calm period in your relationship? Sort of like a calm before the storm feeling?
Those are the symptoms of MPP (men planning proposals) as Dr. Minutiae know them. :D
@Carebear0613: Well i am a waiting Bee as well, signs that he will propose is if he takes you to look at rings and talks about how you can be a girlfriend forever. My boyfriend actually told me that he was going to propose by christmas, so now it is just the waiting game. How are you future Hubbys finances, do you guys discuss important issues? Does he make you a priority? Does he take the relationship seriously? Does he talk about your future together and the possibility of having kids.
Just talk with him about what your mutual goals are and what he sees interms of the future for your relationship.
Best of Luck and Love
-Shewa
My boyfriend was an absolute pro. He didn't give away anything until moments before he proposed when he started talking about how much he loved me. Even the weeks and months before getting engaged, he would say things like he didn't have money yet for a ring, maybe by next year (when it was only a month away in reality!), etc. In all honesty, he actually had everything planned out for months.
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Hello my fellow Bees! It is so awesome to hear the stories of the "Waiting Bees" getting engaged, but what signs/ signals did your BF send out (i.e. weeks, days) before he proposed?
I ask because my BF has been acting stranger than normal. He has always been the romantic type but he is even more so. I notice that he has been a little bit more secretive and not in a way that he doing something wrong. Yesterday, after we went to church (he’s a minister, a musician/ singer…I am just a singer) he was in our church’s music room along with his boys and they were practicing something…this in itself is not out of the ordinary. However, when I walked in he immediately closed his music notes and one of his friends tried to talk to me while he was “pretending” to reorganize some papers he had. Sidenote: He has writen me a song before and he has already told me he has a song for our wedding day…do you think he is writing one for the proposal? Our 2.5 year courting/dating anniversary will be next Sunday. What are your thoughts on signs/ signals before the proposal?
Thanks Ladies!