Post # 1
hi bees, just curious as to what your asking your bridesmaids to pay for – if anything at all?
iv been pretty cruisy, said they can just wear their own shoes, have their hair how they want, if they want to spraytan or get nails done then they can but i dont mind if they do or not, etc and i have already brought them their dresses, (there are 3 bridemaids)
im wondering if its rude to then ask them to either: pay for their hair and makeup on the day of the wedding, or pay for their dress. and if they pay for their dress they can keep it, but if i pay for it i can keep it and id sell it on.
iv brought them wee clutches full of goodies for the wedding day and also bracelets to say thanks, but im just not sure if i should ask them to chip in for the other stuff or not. 1 is flying about an hr to the wedding and one is coming from a whole nother country across the world so they are spending a bit of money (a lot of money) to be at the wedding already…..
also im not having a bridal shower and im doing my own hens night at my house.
thoughts would be great!!
Post # 3
I am paying for thier dress. They can wear whatever shoes they like (I’m weird about shoes, and I would hate it if someone made me wear a paid that weren’t my own).
I’ve said they can pay for their make-up if they want, but no pressure either way. I just want them to be happy with how they look for the day.
For me, being a BM is an honour, not a duty. So I don’t really feel comfortable having them help me out, or pay for anything.
But that’s just me!
Post # 4
My bridesmaids paid for their dresses. I paid for alterations and hair & makeup. They wore their own shoes….
Post # 5
I’m probably only having one, my younger sister. Since my parents are the ones paying, and she’s only going to be 17, everything for her will be coming out of my wedding budget,
Post # 6
My bridesmaids will be asked to pay for their dress & shoes & hotel for the night of the wedding [Somewhat cheap flats, probably no more than $20, and a dress, which I have not decided yet, trying to keep it under $150].
I don’t expect nor plan on having a wedding shower [it just seems greedy to me] or a bachlorette party. We will probably have a luncheon paid by me.
They can opt to do their own hair & makeup, if they like. Depending on which MUA I may opt to get their makeup done as well, just depends on the cost. Same with hair.
EDIT : The hotel is optional I suppose, but I already know 1 bridesmaid will be staying at the hotel with her parents, and my MOH is my FSIL [my brothers fiance], my brother is also a groomsman, I don’t see either of them driving home the night of.
Post # 7
They are paying for their dress, transportation to/from wedding, hotel. Which, ends up being a bit because the wedding is out of town for most.
I’m picking up the shoes and jewelry. They can get their makeup done if they want, but I’m not paying for it nor is it required. They do need to get their hair done, which I will likely pay for.
FI is paying for all the tuxes for his guys.
Post # 8
Just the dress! I’ve asked if they can wear nude or metallic gold shoes which as far as I know, they all have at least a pair of one of those. Hair and makeup is optional though if we can swing it by the wedding day, we will pay for at least the hair for all 4 girls!
Post # 9
Sister and 2bffs will be bridesmaids. I am kinda dreading the “how much can people contribute” convo
Post # 10
I asked my BMs to buy their dresses and cover any required alterations, but I didn’t force them to purchase any particular dress (I gave them a color and told them to get any dress in any style at any price).
I didn’t require them to have professional hair or make-up, and I suggested wearing any pair of black dress shoes they already had.
Post # 11
My bms paid for any alterations they might have needed and shoes if they didn’t want to go with a pair they already owned. I just said nude shoes and let them go from there.
Post # 12
My bridemaids bought their own dresses. They also bought their own cowboy boots, but I wasn’t picky on which ones. They could choose which ones they liked. And they will definitely where them again. We all love country music and go to concerts pretty often. So they will get their use from them. And then if they want they can get their hair and make up done, but don’t have too. I’m having a DIY budget friendly wedding. So they understand I can’t really affored to pay for their stuff. But my MOH is my best friend and my two bridemaids are my little sisters…so I didn’t have any problems 🙂
Post # 13
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
I’m paying for their shoes, jewelry (gifts), they will be paying for their dress which I will be choosing out with the MOH, and I left hair and makeup up to them (they can use my makeup artist or do their own, either way they’ll need to pay for it). I’ve been lucky, they’ve been very receptive to my choices. Oh, I want to mention I’ll also be having bridesmen, and I plan to pay for their shoes and their ties (gifts).
Post # 14
I paid for my BMs’ manis and pedis and that was it. They paid for their own dresses and I told them they could wear whatever shoes they wanted. I also didn’t require them to get their hair and make-up done.
Where are you from? In the States, it’s common for the BMs to pay for their own dresses, so long it is within their pre-determined budget. But I believe in the UK a lot of brides purchase the BM dresses for their girls.
I feel like it’s usally one or the other. Either the bride pays for the dresses (and the BMs get to keep them) and then the BMs pay for hair and make-up and sometimes shoes, or the BMs pay for the dresses and the bride pays for the hair and make-up if she’s requiring it to be a certain way.
Post # 15
very insightful, thanks girls. makes me feel a bit better about maybe asking them to chip in for their own hair and makeup. cheers 🙂
Post # 16
@Miss Jackrabbit: I love the way you put it, For me, being a BM is an honour, not a duty. This is exactly how I feel, I want my two friends to be part of that important day but I don’t expect them to throw me showers or parties beforehand. It’s about getting married and share that with the people I love the most!
Since both my bridesmaids will fly in for the wedding, I would have felt so awkward asking them to pay for any expenses immediately associated with it. So, I’ll pay their dresses and most likely their shoes (if they don’t have something already that will work with the schedule). I’ll also cover their hair, but not makeup since I won’t even have a makeup artist for myself (too remote location to get one there). I’ll also pay for their lodging the night of the wedding. I want the wedding to be a wonderful time, not tainted by bad feelings about them having to pay for “making my day”.