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I am delegating the FI:
Getting his side of the guestlist for addresses and emails.
Picking out his, his groomsmen's, and our father's tuxes (but with my final approval of course!)
Our save the date (it's a video)
Anything video related
Reception entertainment (songs to play, friends singing/performing, any videos/slideshows)
Hmmm... I think that's it for now. Maybe I'll add on the wedding website.
I'm not sure what else I would delegate without wanting to take over. What about you girls? How much work did you give the FI? Were you worried that he wouldn't pull through? Or have anxiety about the responsibility you gave him? I kinda wish I had more of a groom-kong so that I could give him more things to do without me worrying about letting it go!
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Haha groom kong - I never heard that! Is that like the mortal enemy of a groomzilla?
Honeymoon & DJ for now. Maybe more later. I have to give him responsibilities in small increments or he gets stressed out! 
But for the most part all of the decision planning is joint. Anything too girly he doesn't want to touch with a 10 foot pole!
My hubby didn't want anything to do with the planning, that is until I started actually getting things done then he would put his two cents in, lol. He did suggest we go with burgundy instead of blue for our color so I added the orange to go with it. I had to practically print out his friends list on facebook and say, "Pick out the people you want to invite" because he was totally slacking on it. I did make sure he had asked the people he wanted to be in the wedding and that they went and got measured. He mostly picked out the tuxes but I had to change a few things with them when I finalized the order. I did tell him that he needed to deal with the catering guy because it was a friend of his but he didn't do that very well and I had to do it. Although, he was great at making sure he got his nacho cheese fountain that he dreamed about! Really the only thing he had to do was make sure that he and his guys showed up on time.
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My fiance, while not groom kong (or zilla) is highly involved. He picked the caterer (although delegated the menu to me). He's doing hotel blocks. He's helping design the invitations, picked colors with me, is working on the ceremony (no honey, I do not want a handfasting!), picked tuxes, and generally is helping a ton.
I'm really happy he's so involved, and I wouldn't trade it for the world... but unilateral decision would be simpler (and less fun).
We are deciding on/doing pretty much everything wedding/marriage-related together. There are a few things I'll do on my own (dress for example), but honestly he'll probably help me pick that out too. On his own, he'll need to pick out his wedding band... and figure out who in his family/friends he wants to send an announcement to (if we get married in the courthouse) or invite (if we have a wedding). He definitely wants to be involved, though I imagine that we'll both be trying to squeeze in whatever needs to be done between our exams and projects and reading assignments.
My finance has actually done much more work than I have so far.
He's the one whose spoken with the potential caterers (although I will be there for the tastings), he set up hotel blocks and he reserved the reception site. I picked our readers and readings and registered for our Wedding Web site. We helped each other pick our outfits. (Yes, he's seen me in my dress). And nothing else has been done.
In my defense for being such a slacker, I wanted to have a small family-only affair. He said he wanted a medium-sized (approx 125 guests) wedding with all his friends in attendence. I told him if he made that call, he had to do the lion's share of the work.
The only thing I'm being a control freak about choosing is music. I must control the playlist!
My fiance has been letting me handle things although I've communicated all decisions getting his opinions. But, I've asked him to handle the transportation. He kind of balked at first but he's going to do it.
I tend to like things my way although I'm flexible and compromised on a few things, but as long as we all get to the church and to the reception I'm happy!
Umm.. absolutely nothing. I guess you can say he "approves" my final selections...
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Other than gathering all the contact info for his guests my husband took care of the after party, making sure his GMs got their info in to the tux place, dealt with his parents.
My fiance is more than happy to go with me to meet all of the vendors, but he leaves most of the decision making up to me. In terms of wedding details, he reviews everything (invitations, centerpieces, etc.) and lets me know if he has any suggestions, but he's a pretty "go with the flow" kind of guy. If I have a project, I can be kind of a control-freak, so our arrangement works out well. :-)
My groomzilla is ultra involved...down the green colored Converse he wants for his men and the red parasol I'll be using as a photo prop. He's detail oriented, so this is pretty much up his alley. He's had an opinion and idea on everything. We have pretty much made every single decision together, and he even took a Friday off of work to run wedding related errands. How's that for a modern man, huh?
While my FI initially said I could do everything, he's become much more into the planning. At this point we really share in the duties, like I contacted the caterer, we developed a menu together, etc. He's in charge of asking a friend to be our videographer and dealing with that sort of equipment, he's also in charge of what the groomsmen will be wearing, but I'm sure he'll want to show me things, just like I want to show him my bridesmaids things. He was also incharge of designing our invites, he wanted to, but I've helped a lot since he's been super busy at work. It's really a planning partnership!
@ mr. bee - Groom-kong is what happens if you play the wedding dash game and you do not deliver. haha!
I forgot to add the the FI is also doing the Honeymoon. He has also helped out with our wedding day timeline since he's more experienced in that and will probably help out a little more with ceremony details.
I am really impressed with the ones that have been really involved! Mad props =)
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Not much at all. I sometimes wish he would agree to help more, but he is against it 100%. Every time I try to get him involved he claims that he is busy or "something comes up."
Soooo, I press on without him. My favorite thing happened yesterday when I FINALLY got him to drive 1 hr visit the ceremony & reception site. Guess what? He wants to move the reception outside under an old school wooden pavilion b/c he thinks it will be more fun. Did I mention that we already booked the dining room and that the wedding is in less than 7 months away. That man of mine . . .
My FI wanted to be equally involved in our day. We have worked together on everything but my dress and flowers. He was responsible for contacting the photographer, the church, blocking the hotel rooms and the mini-moon reservations. I have only done the flowers and the dress by myself (with my MOH). We have done everything else together (invitations, favors, STDs, shopping for gifts, groomsmen attire, etc...) He is the best!
I realize that I haven't delegated enough to my FI when:
He laughs everytime I say STDs.
He asks where we have to buy the bustle.
He refers to Out of Town bags as "woot woot."
Outside of handling his suit/tux and directing his groomsmen, I've TRIED to put my FI in charge of handling the songlist for the DJ. But he's even nervous about handling that! :)
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I think I might put him in charge of the DJ... he's the one that's got the opinions on the music, not me - so that would work well.
But I know the food isn't an area he wants to be involved in... he asked me right off the bat why we had to bother feeding people at all! Um, because they're coming to our wedding, haha?
He's busier than I am with school, so really it makes more sense for me to handle most of it.
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he wanted to be involved with the planning, so i put him in charge of things that weren't the most important to me. the things that he is in charge of happened to be some of the most important to him, so it worked out well. he's in charge of the dj and the website and of course going with me to all tastings.
@Josalyn: haha , mine too!
I pretty much am doing it all. FI knows that I have to know everything that is happening and have complete control (or as much as possible!). So he lets me do my thing. He does help when I ask for it though. And if I ask his opinion on something, for example our Save the Dates, he just says "great, that's awesome" It's not that he doesn't care, he just so not into planning and I so am that it works for both of us!
I gave him the DJ/Entertainment and honeymoon stuff! And of course all his friends and family guest list! 
OHMIGOD @Josalyn and Aloweha...my fiance is the same way!!! It's funny because when we first got engaged he was all "I'm going to be involved in all of the decision making" and "I just don't understand guys that don't know what's going on with their wedding cause I know I want this and this and this" ...I was perfectly fine with it cause i'm not really into planning, but almost a year later when all of our family started asking us to finalize a date so they could make plans, we still didn't have ANYTHING done...lol i was like "ok start that planning you were all excited about" LOL!!! but now i've kicked into high gear while he just sits back...men...gotta love them!
so far not very involved, just listens to my ideas and starting his side of family guest list. maybe later closer to the wedding he will handle all the honeymoon details :)
my fiance typed out all the addresses for his family and friends in my database :-) (his mom gave me the guest list for the most part). He's picking out most of the ceremony program and music, the reception music, his tux, he's coming with me to the food tasting, and planning the honeymoon. Sometimes I wish he cared more about the rest of the detail, but mostly I'm happy he's doing as much as he is!
My fiancee says that he doesn't like to make decisions, but his ideas have been a lot of the choices that we have made, he really does have good taste. He found a picture of a cake that he knew I would love, and thats the one we are going with, he also found the dj, and our venue.
He is also in charge of helping set everything up on the day of, and finding the rental companies for chairs, tables, ect.
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My poor FI. Anything I delegate I end up doing anyway :( He's such a sport -- although yesterday he pouted the whole train ride home cause I took the ONE DIY project he was excited about out of his hands (I thought he'd be happy about it -- turns out not so much :( ) SO I'm trying to keep him really invovled from here on out.
Oh the struggle..... This was hard. Some things he was very willing to do like the website since it gave him permission to play around on the computer and other things were more difficult. I had to really work to get him to help with the tux stuff, invitation addresses for his side of the family, helping me proofread everything, and he took all the invites to the post office to mail. Oh and he burned some music for our entrance. Yep, I think that was about it. Like pulling teeth. Gotta love 'em.
My FI so far has helped me out with narrowing down the tux choices (waiting to make a final decision until closer to the date) and the DJ. He really likes to travel and has planned 2 trips for us to date, so I recently told him that he could plan the honeymoon and he got really excited about it! It was cute. He told me that he's already researching resorts/best times to go/things to do while we're there.
My FI is doing our honeymoon research - we couldn't just pick on place, so he's researching & costing out three trips then we'll decide together.
Other than that we're making most decisions together (mostly me doing the research & narrowing down and asking him for final approval). He's *mostly* a show-up kind of guy - but I'm so not complaining, as I love planning! :)
He totally planned the honeymoon by himself & picked out the guy's attire. He also picked out what he wanted for his groom's cake. He's really "not into details," but if I get where I can't choose between two things, he'll pick which one he likes best.
If I say "nothing," is that bad?? Well, it's not that he is doing nothing. He is just in charge of nothing. I am a bit of a CF (control freak, but CF for short in our house). I feel like if I ask him to do something it won't get done on time. I don't even care if it gets done correctly, just that it gets done. So, FI provides feedback and we communicate about ideas, but I usually am the one to execute the ideas.
I think I am going to ask him to plan the pre-wedding golf outing for the guys and also to work on our songlist. He said he would plan the honeymoon, but I am a little nervous about that one....
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We have been doing a fairly good job of doing everything together. I do the bulk of the research and planning, but he really helps things get executed. He also helps me realize that it's not the end of the world if I can't find the exact color envelopes for our Save the Dates or if our reception chairs aren't as glamourous as I'd hope. He keeps me grounded and that is the best thing I could possibly ask for throughout this whole process!
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Mr. DE was in charge of the DJ. He really hasn't taken on anything else and I really don't mind.
The only item I delegated to FI was the music/DJ since he's incredibly nit-picky about it. Ironically, he's been quite lazy in that department.
However, he has attended every single vendor meeting and included his input on almost everything except for design...he could care less about it. The one item he claimed as his territory was the budget. It's his precious that only he is allowed to edit on Google Docs.
He made our wedding website, came up with the idea for the save the date, decided what the groomsmen will wear (okay, with a good deal of help from me -- yes, it's fine with me if your sister wears a suit, etc.), and was the first to contact our invitation designer. He's been super helpful, but I think it's more that he knows *I* want him to be involved than that *he* really has a burning desire to choose invitation colors or whatever ;)
We designed our invitations together, but he meticulously printed & put them together. He helped me with our centerpieces.
He did our favors, is printing the programs, chose the tuxes, and is helping me with the music selection. He's also in charge of finding a place for us to board our dogs the weekend of the wedding. He put together the "passport" for our guests - complete with personalized brochures according to the guest's interests. He's totally in charge of all payments and keeping track of when they're due, when we have to turn in final counts, questionnaires, etc.
He's a pretty involved groom. I'm pretty lucky.
While he's attended nearly all of the vendor meetings with me, his main tasks so far have been:
-Booking the flight and hotel for our Honeymoon (it's sort of a tradition in my family for the groom to do that.. usually he's expected to keep it a secret, but he let me see the hotel's website to make sure I approved)
-Gathering all of the addresses for his side of the family
-Main communicator with the reception location. While this may surprise most of you, he's been wonderful communicating our vision, making sure payments are submitted on time, etc. Don't worry, I'm still definitely involved in every aspect of reception decisions, but i wanted him to feel like we had equally distributed tasks since I'm taking care of all the "minor" details (chair covers, cake, DJ, candy buffet, place cards, centerpieces, etc.. He's really enjoyed it.
-He was also the main one in charge of ordering and communicating with the jeweler for our wedding bands. While we picked them out together, he was the one that made sure the orders were set and picked up the rings.
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It's pretty early in our planning process, but so far me and my FI have collaborated on everything. We've brainstormed centerpieces, color schemes, invitations, roles our family will be playing, flowers, reception sites, and probably a dozen other things I can't think of right now! I have to brag- my FI is fantastic. He's definitely not one of those guys who just lets me have my own way all the time- he has preferences and wants this to be just as much his day as it is mine. I feel like this is going to be such a special day for us because we're integrating so much of "us" into it. I highly recommend letting the men have some input in the planning process- it means that much more! Plus he may actually remember what color the bridesmaid dresses were more than 2 weeks afterward, haha!
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